21 times when calories definitely don't count

Calories don't count when...

1. Mom made it
2. You're on a plane
3. The date says it's between Thanksgiving and New Year's
4. There's one bite left
5. It's your birthday
6. You're eating off someone else's plate
7. You're drunk
8. You're hungover
9. You made it your damn self
10. No one else is watching
11. You're scraping the bottom of the bowl
12. You put two slices of pizza on top of each other (see below)
13. You eat standing up
14. You're in gym clothes
15. You're on vacation
16. It's Sunday
17. It's between the hours of 11:15 p.m. and 4:45 a.m.
18. It's free
19. Someone's getting married
20. Cookie dough is in front of you
21. Something's about to go to waste (for real, though)

It's true.