I let an expert tear my horrible cover letter to shreds - here are the mistakes I won't make again

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cover letter

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I hate cover letters. 

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They're long. They're boring. Unlike résumés, you can't just blast them out to multiple companies with minimal editing. I always feel like mine sound super fake, even when I am genuinely excited about the job. 

But when I was applying for jobs in my senior year of college, I did my best to shake my bad attitude by researching what makes a bomb cover letter. 

A lot of the advice I got - on the internet and from people I know - was dry, vague, and rather contradictory: Make it half a page, tops; tell a story; don't get fancy; staying formal is your best bet; contractions are unprofessional; keep it short and sweet!

As my various application deadlines loomed, I actually dug up an old cover letter that I'd submitted to an internship junior year. I figured that I'd be lazy and plug in some new names and details (yeah, I now know that's a bad idea) or at least use the bare-bone structure to write some new cover letters. 

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But ... that's not what happened. My old cover letter was completely unsalvageable. Inexcusable. A 3-page self-focused monstrosity. And I'd sent it out for other humans to read. 

So I figured I'd ask an expert to go over my terrible letter and provide concrete reasons on why it's a trainwreck.

Amy Adler, a certified master résumé writer, management coach, and CEO of Five Strengths, went through paragraph by paragraph and gave me some feedback. 

Adler also provided the following helpful tips on how I could've improved this particular cover letter (other than burning it and starting over):  

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