RANKED: The 10 absolutely horrifying celebrity baby names that make you question everything

Don’t you love it when a celebrity has a baby and decides to ruin his/her life by naming it something that just doesn’t make any sense? I know, I do.

Giving us utmost joy, Chris Gayle who just had a daughter decided to take a dig at the world and everyone who made fun of him a few months back (Remember the ‘Don’t blush baby’ controversy?) by aptly naming his newborn ‘Blush’ giving the whole world a new reason to facepalm about.

But, Gayle is not the only one.

There appears to e a community of celebrities who happen to stop using their brain at the exact moment they are required to name their child.

And, as a result we have scores of children who are going to be tormented through school, college and practically the rest of their life because their parents couldn’t think of ONE normal name.

We’re not kidding. Blanket (!)Jackson, Micheal Jackson’s youngest son ACTUALLY changed his name after being bullied all throughout his growing years. You have our sympathies, Blankie.

It turns out that celebrities have started believing that giving their child horrifying names is included in their duty as parents.

And, we at Business Insider bring to you a definite ranking of the 10 absolutely worst celebrity baby names of all time so that you know what NOT to name anyone ever.

Warning: These stunts are performed by expert idiots. Please don’t try this at home on our own child




10. Kyd

Californication star David Duchovny named his kid ‘Kyd.’ Except he couldn’t spell kid. I have no words.




9. Bear blu

Actress Alicia Silverstone didn’t want a son. Going by his name, she wanted an animal with a weird colour fetish. And, we present- Bear Blu.




8. Kal-el

We have only one question for you Nicholas Cage- WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU NOT WANT YOUR CHILD TO HAVE A NORMAL CHILDHOOD.

(Trivia: Kal-el is the birth name of Superman)




7. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

This is just the first name of INXS singer Micheal Hutchen's daughter. Her full name is Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence Geldof.

Can someone please explain what is happening here? Just make it stop.




6. Bronz Mowgli

Ashlee Simpson's child's name has me so confused. A London borough combined with a lovable Jungle Book character? WHY? I'm angry.





5. Audio Science

Actress Shannyn Sossoman named her own flesh and blood Audio Science. Yes, you heard me right. She did that to her own child.

Was she convinced she gave birth to a subject and not a living breathing human being who deserves a decent name? Who allowed this injustice?

I have questions.




4. Moxie Crimefighter

Penn Jilette is a man of many talents. He is a comedian, magician, actor, inventor and even a best-selling author, but sadly the one talent he fails to possess is to not understand how names work.

He has gone on record admitting that he named his daughter ‘Crimefighter’ as a JOKE. Brb. Thanking my parents right now.




3. Pilot Inspektor

Actor Jason Lee named his son by combining two absolutely cool occupations to make a really really really weird name- Pilot Inspektor. I’m sure this takes great talent.

Is it possible he actually thinks Inspector is spelled that way?




2. North West/Saint West

This is an all-time name classic. Bow down to the greats. If naming their first born North West wasn’t enough, they named their second born Saint West. My list would have been nothing without this gem.

Which begs the question- What would the world have been without Kim Kardashian? I shudder.




1. Blush

Chris Gayle courted trouble and a hefty fine when he told a female presenter ‘Don’t blush, baby’ in December, last year. In April, this year- he decided to name his first born daughter Blush and announced it to the world by saying ‘Blush won’t blush, my baby.’ Is this man for real?

That will be all.

P.S- We haven’t included Blue Ivy or Apple because they seem like harmless names after reading about these 10 names. Our sympathies however are with all of them.