Stephen Colbert rips Congress' vote to end internet privacy rules: 'Something we can all hate together'
CBS
"Anybody here use the internet?" Colbert asked his audience to cheers on Wednesday's "Late Show," before adding, "Might want to knock that off."
After telling people that now "might be a good time to clear your browser history," and joking, "I burned my computer this morning," Colbert denounced the congressional decision led by Republicans, which President Donald Trump has signaled he will sign. The host argues it's exactly the type of proposed legislation no one wants.
"This is what's wrong with Washington, DC," he said. "I guarantee you there is not one person, not one voter of any political stripe anywhere in America, who asked for this. No one in America stood up at a town hall and said, 'Sir, I demand you let somebody else make money off my shameful desires. Maybe blackmail me someday.'"
A growing number of Americans are expressing fears about their privacy under Trump, and Colbert warned the move on internet privacy would not be greeted warmly.
"I can't believe they're publicly taking the side of big internet cable companies," Colbert said. "Taking the side of a cable company? The only thing less popular would be if they passed a bill allowing traffic jams to call you during dinner, to give you gonorrhea."
Colbert was more than a little skeptical of the reasoning from Republican Representative Marsha Blackburn, who argued on the House floor that the gutting of the privacy rules will actually lead to "enhanced" consumer privacy.
"I know what's in her search history: 'How to spout bulls---,'" Colbert said.
He also slammed the part of the resolution that would no longer require internet providers to protect "customer information against hackers and thieves," likening it to a hotel that tells its guests, "We don't lock the doors."
And Colbert had a little fun imagining what the guy who's assigned to look through America's search history is going through. It's not optimistic.
Watch Colbert on the congressional vote "we can all hate together" below:
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