4 ways to tell whether it is love or lust

Falling in love is a profound feeling. Everything appears rosy when you are in love, you want to spend the entire time with that special someone and tell him/her how much they mean to you.

In love, all that matters is the feel that two people develop over a period of time in a relationship. But wait, are you sure you have fallen in love with someone and it is not mere attraction.

There is a thin line between lust and love but the difference is vast. People do fall in love at first sight, but there are people who feel sexually attracted at first sight too. When the latter happens, people often mistake it to be love.

Drawn to someone based solely on physical and sexual arousal or attraction, that is lust. When you feel for someone physically, you don’t see them for who they are, and you see them as you want them to be.

On the contrary, in love you accept the other person as they are and build a relationship on trust and mutual interest.

Relationship expert Terri Orbuch, in one of her Ted Talks, said in lust, you ignore the dumbest attitude of your partner, which weans off after a period of time when you open your eyes and see the truth. Love is not blind, it is lust that makes it blind.

When you are in a romantic relationship, there are four ways to tell whether it is love or lust. Here are four things from which you can get clear about your feelings for someone. This will definitely save you from future heartbreaks.

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When you are in love, you want your partner to connect with all those people who are important in your life. You want your partner also to spend time with them. You want to show-off them to your friends and family. You bring out the person you love in public. Whereas, in lust, you want them to be a deep secret and don’t want them to mingle with your friends.


When you use ‘we’ language than ‘I’, it is love. Lives are entwined when you are in love and people don’t see each other as separate individuals anymore. You see yourselves as a couple. Lives overlap and more mutuality comes in. In lust, you are one person and your partner is another, there is no ‘we’.

Self disclosure

Self disclosure
You want to tell it all to your partner in love. What you tell about yourself to the other person also matters. Love makes us reveal extensive information about ourselves. You want to tell about your dreams, goals, pasts, future, confidential info, all secrets. In lust, you don’t go deep into the core about yourself.

Influence one-another

Influence one-another
When you are in love, what one person wants to do, influences the other person in meaningful and strong ways. In case something happens in your family or to you, you want to go to that person for assistance, for help. You would want to tell your partner about it first and seek guidance. You want to share good and the bad news both.
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