Because we opted for a mediator and never had to get lawyers, see a judge, or spend time in court, our divorce was no doubt a relatively painless experience.
But everything is relative. The experience was relentlessly, soul-crushingly sad, and nearly two years afterwards, I honestly still haven't stopped grieving.
Even so, if there was any upside to all that, it's that we were able to save a substantial amount of money by working with a mediator instead of a lawyer. When I consulted with lawyers before filing divorce paperwork, I was advised to reserve $15,000 for legal fees. In reality, it cost just about $5,000 instead. Yes, that's only a third of the initial estimates, but even so, it's a lot of money when you don't have a ton of liquid assets in the checking account.
Moreover, that was just the start of my overall divorce expenses. Apartments aren't cheap in Los Angeles, and when you factor in the first month, last month, and security deposit, I had to write a check for almost $7,000 on the day I got the keys to my new apartment — a very bad day for my checking account.
My wife and I split a lot of the furniture and other household items, but starting out as a newly single guy for the first time in 30 years is sort of like being born — you are starting fresh. Kitchen table, silverware, dishes, a TV, bathroom supplies, a mop — there was almost no end to the mundane things I had to buy in my first few weeks on my own. I was a daily visitor to Target and racked up several thousand dollars more in completely unexpected expenses.