Tinder's sociologist reveals an easy way to get more people to message you


In July, I covered research that found there's a key gender difference in how heterosexual men and women use Tinder.


Specifically, men swipe right on a lot of women but don't message many of them. Women swipe right on fewer men but message a greater proportion of them.

This curious finding doesn't have a clear explanation. And the resulting frustration doesn't have an immediate solution.

I recently had a chance to speak with Tinder's in-house sociologist, Dr. Jess Carbino, about the data and she suggested that some men simply don't know what to say when they match with women.

Of course, she was quick to point out that some women may also find themselves at a loss for words when they match with men. And even if men are more confused about what to say, that still doesn't explain why they swipe right more often.


Still, the fact that some Tinder users can't think of anything clever to send their matches and therefore opt not to send anything is worth considering. What it really implies is that the reason you're not hearing from any of your matches isn't that they take a second look at your profile pic and decide, "Eh, not so into her after all."

Instead, the reason might be that there aren't enough conversation-starters in your bio. Which is why Carbino suggests that you include a question in your profile.

For example, if you mention in your profile that you like to travel, list a few places you've been and then ask: "What's your next destination?"

If you're an art fan, cite artists whose work you enjoy and then ask: "Who's your favorite artist?"

Carbino added, "A lot of individuals need to have fodder to make conversation. It's very difficult for people sometimes to put themselves forward and try to make that first move."


In addition to questions, Carbino said, you'll want to include as much detail about you as possible in your profile and bio.

Bottom line: You probably don't want to aim for an air of mystery on Tinder. While some people might find it appealing, many others will just move on to someone who it's easier to talk to.

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