I asked experts to help me craft a contingency plan for my child's care in case I get sick with COVID-19
1. Your plan is an ongoing conversation with your family
Dr. Robin Gurwitch, psychologist and professor at Duke University Medical Center advises that once you decide who will temporarily take care of your children, proactively let them know who that person will be. She explains, "It is important for children to know they will always have somebody to take care of them and that their caregiver is doing everything they know how to keep them safe and healthy."
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Dr. Gurwitch suggests beginning this conversation with a more basic one for older children. Try asking your elementary-age child what do you know? If you have a teenager or college-age child, you ask them what do your friends know? Remain calm, listen, and check back a day or two later. For preschool-age children, Dr. Gurwitch suggests following their lead. Explaining why they can't go to daycare or see their friends if they bring it up. Use simple phrases like "we are trying to keep everyone healthy."
2. Provide a way to share and explore emotions
Dr. Arthur Lavin, MD and chair of the AAP Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child, explains that "children are already having the emotional experience that we are having," but that "their emotions aren't usually as prized as the facts." If you are sick but expect a full recovery, Dr. Lavin suggests asking your temporary caregiver start a Life Book with your child. For a nonverbal child, under 2-years-old, this could mean pointing to pictures in a magazine or book. A young, verbal child in the 2.5 to 3 year range could draw and narrate images with their caregiver. Dr. Lavin explains that "the Life Book can be fictional, but the point is it allows your child to share their feelings with someone else."
If specific fears arise, a caregiver can alleviate those fears with truthful explanations and provide the child with vocabulary for their emotions. According to Dr. Lavin,"if a child is old enough to imagine an explanation (for your illness), reality will almost always be less scary than what's in their heads." For example, the Life Book might bring up your child's concerns about illness. They may think you are sick because of something they did. In this scenario your child and caregiver can"talk about how it is normal to get sick. And if it comes up, how people can get very sick."
You may also provide your caregiver with a resource to identify your child's distress in other ways. Dr. Gurwitch recommends printing this Coronavirus-specific Parent and Caregiver Guide, written by The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. This guide may help your caregiver identify behavioral patterns and offers coping mechanisms for children of all ages.
3. Determine your child's revenue stream
In the short term, Paco de Leon, Financial Advisor, owner of The Hell Yeah Group, and writer suggests "earmarking money for your child in any way that you can. Ideally you'll put those funds in a high yield money market account where it will earn a higher interest rate." de Leon suggests keeping at least 3-6 months of regular expenses (including diapers, food, day care or preschool tuition) for your child in this account.
If your dedicated caregiver can afford to look after your child while you are ill, de Leon suggests "asking them to use a single credit card and keep meticulous track of expenses. Alternatively you could preemptively transfer a lump sum from your earmarked account to your caregiver."
In the long term, de Leon recommends preparing a medical directive. While de Leon suggests Willing, a simple online service, you may also wish to seek legal advice from a Wills and Estate Attorney. Shirley B. Whitenack, a partner at Schenck, Price, Smith & King, LLP in New Jersey explains that since laws vary from state to state, an attorney will be able to best advise you on the documents you should prepare. During the coronavirus pandemic, Whitenack told me that some attorneys are offering virtual meetings and are finding creative ways to meet clients and process requests, sharing that "some attorneys will stop by a driveway or watch documents get signed through a living room window."
In addition, de Leon recommends purchasing a termed life insurance policy so that your child will have a revenue stream in the worst-case scenario. She recommends Ladder, another online service. While most policies can be approved quickly, policies for individuals with a chronic illness may require an underwriting process and additional time. de Leon also suggests checking your policy's contestability period and planning accordingly because "it's possible your children won't receive income in that time."
I also asked Dr. Lavin about requesting professional mental health support for your child in your medical directive, and planning for it in your emergency funds. He supported this idea.
4. Remember, your plan is an evolving document
Finally, Dr. Gurwitch notes that, "whatever plan you make today you should alter as your child ages to suit their needs." From a financial perspective, de Leon explains that "you may consider your termed life insurance policy as a revenue stream for your family while you build your financial assets," and from a legal perspective Whitenack recommends reviewing your will every 3-5 years. From an emotional perspective, revisiting your plan with your children can provide a source of comfort to everyone in the family. As Dr. Gurwitch points out, "we can't promise nothing will happen to us, but we can help our children know that they will never have to worry that there won't be somebody who loves and cares about them to help take over."
Jen Hyde is a writer who divides her time between Los Angeles and Brooklyn.
Next Story
Saudi Arabia wants China to help fund its struggling $500 billion Neom megaproject. Investors may not be too excited.
I spent $2,000 for 7 nights in a 179-square-foot room on one of the world's largest cruise ships. Take a look inside my cabin.
One of the world's only 5-star airlines seems to be considering asking business-class passengers to bring their own cutlery
Experts warn of rising temperatures in Bengaluru as Phase 2 of Lok Sabha elections draws near
Axis Bank posts net profit of ₹7,129 cr in March quarter
7 Best tourist places to visit in Rishikesh in 2024
From underdog to Bill Gates-sponsored superfood: Have millets finally managed to make a comeback?
7 Things to do on your next trip to Rishikesh
