I've planned $300,000 weddings at chic seaside locations like Cape Cod. Here are the wildest things I've seen, and why lower-budget events are harder to plan.

• Lia Bancroft is a wedding planner who left the corporate world in the pandemic to run her business.
• She says she's seen families fight and once had a liquor order not show up the day of an event.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Lia Bancroft, the 33-year-old owner and lead planner and designer of Lia Bancroft Events. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I started my career at Willis Towers Watson, a global human-resources consulting firm for Fortune 500 companies. My portfolio included a leading pharmaceutical company, IT service companies, a network and communications provider, luxury hotels and resorts chains, and a major defense contractor. Then, I became a senior financial analyst at Analog Devices, a technologies and solutions company, where I worked on multimillion-dollar product-line budgets, forecasting, and project management. In June 2021, I was promoted to marketing specialist.

While working in corporate, I simultaneously built my wedding-planning business and launched it in October 2018. I left my job and went full time once events came back during the pandemic.

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After planning my own wedding in 2014, I realized I had a knack for this

I would reach out to vendors and thoroughly evaluate and compare them based on their portfolio, experience, package options, and testimonials. At the time, I saw my family and friends booking venues and vendors without much evaluation and consideration of their overall budget. At the end of the day, many of my peers would experience buyer's regret, overspend, and ultimately fail to stay within their budgets.

In 2016, a close friend who was planning her wedding felt overwhelmed by the process and reached out to me for advice. On her wedding day, I acted as the couple's officiant, MC, and day-of coordinator, where I managed the vendors and timeline of the day. Her family and friends approached me in awe of how orderly and seamlessly the wedding day went, and I booked my first paying job.

My first wedding under my own name took place under a beautiful sailcloth tent on the docks of Newport, Rhode Island. From then on, I experienced a snowball effect of bookings. From the Newport wedding, I booked a New Year's Eve wedding at the luxurious Fairmont Copley Plaza in the heart of Boston's historic Back Bay, where movies like "Bride Wars" have been filmed and celebrities like Frank Sinatra and Elizabeth Taylor have stayed. I didn't think much of it at the time — I just showed up and did my thing.

Throughout the event, I felt like the event manager there didn't like me or was annoyed by me because I was stepping on her toes. However, by the end of the night, she admitted how wonderful an experience this was for the couple, and we shared a glass of Veuve Clicquot at the famous OAK bar to celebrate the New Year. Since that day, we've become good friends, and I consider her an invaluable industry partner. This was my start in the luxury wedding world.

I choose to work on seaside weddings because it's who I am. I was born on Cape Cod and grew up summering there. It's truly magical to have the honor of planning the most important day of my couple's lives with a backdrop as gorgeous as the ocean.

I've received some wild requests before

One of my couples requested a tequila donkey for their cocktail hour. They want a donkey to walk around with a saddle of tequila for guests to be served from. I've also had a couple request that the wait staff all be handsome, young men.

I've also witnessed some wild circumstances happen on wedding days. During one family photo, the groom and the maid of honor got into a screaming match. The mother of the bride got into it as well, and the groom ended up throwing his cocktail glass into the woods and it smashed into pieces as it hit a tree. Tensions were really high and we needed to delay the timeline by 45 minutes while everyone calmed down.

At another wedding, the liquor distributor dropped the ball on the alcohol order. When we called to check in to see where all the beer, wine, and spirits were, it was three hours before the event and it ended up sending a taxi full of 72 beers, not even enough to get through cocktail hour. My team needed to take our vehicle to the liquor store and buy all the alcohol for the wedding on a whim.

I once planned a wedding at Hammond Castle, a historical building on the National Register of Historic Places and a museum in coastal Gloucester on Cape Ann. Directly after their ceremony, the family toasted the couple as they rode away to their reception in a vintage Porsche Speedster.

The first 2 hours of my day includes checking and responding to emails and inquiries

My day starts at 8:30 a.m., after my three boys have been dropped off at school. Most of my couples think about their weddings and email me on weekends or after their work hours, so Mondays and mornings involve a lot of catching up with my clients and prospective clients.

Mid-morning is when I schedule my client check-in calls to review things like which menu options they've decided on, who will be giving toasts, how we'll structure the ceremony, and what song choices they want to evaluate for the sentimental moments throughout the day. I'll take a break at lunchtime to work out and do some errands. Most of the time this involves me stopping by the post office to mail invitations, send client onboarding gifts, or pick up vintage stamps.

In the early afternoon is when I like to meet with clients in person, whether we go to the rental showroom and mock up a tablescape or meet at their venue with some vendor partners to discuss the lighting design or tent placement, or take measurements for custom builds we have in store.

In the late afternoon, at my home office, I use this time to light a candle, play some white noise, and focus on design boards for my clients. At 5:30 p.m., I spend 30 minutes catching up on some emails and preparing my to-do list for the next day.

I've serviced couples of all different cultural and financial backgrounds

This has provided me with a great perspective into what planning a low-budget and high-budget wedding looks and feels like.

The $30,000 wedding I planned in June 2022, took place at the Charles River Museum of Industry and Innovation, in Waltham, MA, with a guest count of 125. A $300,000 wedding I planned in the same month took place at Wentworth by the Sea Country Club under a Sperry Seacoast Tent right on the ocean in Rye, NH, with the same guest count. When comparing the planning process for both weddings, the number of hours put into the planning is significant for both. I would even say it took longer to plan the lower-budget wedding.

With a higher-budget wedding, I'm able to hire or delegate responsibilities to specialty vendors. The planning hours are high because the design board is more detail oriented and every touchpoint of the wedding is personalized. With a lower-budget wedding, I find myself spending more hours trying to save the couple money and ultimately end up doing these specialty services myself, which I'm not qualified for (like draping fabric to decorate), or hiring my team to take on the responsibilities without paying myself reasonably.

The interesting factor in both of these weddings is that they both rented the same champagne walls — a "wow" factor for their guests. This was a big splurge for the $30,000 wedding, and a necessary part of the design of the $300,000 wedding that was embellished by florals and hand calligraphy.

The biggest differences were the florals, the music, and the event design. In the lower-budget wedding, a basic florist was used for some really simple centerpieces and a bouquet and boutonniere. There were no flowers during the ceremony and candles were all DIY.

In the higher-budget wedding, a full-service florist was used who installed a grand ceremony arch covered in flowers and lush arrangements down the aisle and adorned the tent, bar, and display tables with greenery and white roses, as well as hundreds of candles.

This wedding also included a seven-piece band. My lower-budget wedding had their family and friends provide the ceremony music and organized a cocktail-hour jam session, where the groom joined in with his violin.

Overall, a wedding takes more than 100 hours to plan, no matter the budget

When managing a low-budget wedding, the planner is the one who's ultimately responsible for meeting the budget. Sometimes planners end up taking over responsibility in areas where we shouldn't and without proper compensation for the added efforts and resources.

For example, in the $30,000 wedding, to save $800 for a catering tent rental, we decided to make a "rain call" 48 hours before the wedding and see what the weather would be like. There was a slight chance of rain, so to save money, I went and bought two pop-up tents for the caterers to cook under. I paid for these out of my pocket (I didn't ask the couple to reimburse me, as I ended up using them for another event later) and then had to spend the extra time on wedding day setting them up and breaking them down.

Here's my best advice for breaking into the wedding-planning industry

Although my start was unique, I would recommend assisting other wedding planners on wedding days or working for a catering company to learn the ropes. Second, make the effort and attend networking events. This will help build a community around you.

Lastly, trust your instincts and follow your passion. Work on events that align with your interests. When you're excited about what you're working on, success comes naturally.