New York doesn't feel safe, so I'm finding comfort and hope in '80s and '90s rom-coms

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New York doesn't feel safe, so I'm finding comfort and hope in '80s and '90s rom-coms
One of the most famous scenes in "When Harry Met Sally" takes place at Katz's Deli. Columbia Pictures
  • The coronavirus pandemic has shuttered cities across the globe and the United States, including New York.
  • I'm a young professional living in New York City and seeing the city and its inhabitants brought to its knees by the virus has been devastating.
  • During these terrifying times, I've found a small source of hope and comfort in '80s and '90s romantic comedies that take place in New York.
  • By no means do these movies make everything right, but seeing the bustling, lively city I miss so much portrayed in films like "When Harry Met Sally" and "Moonstruck" reminds me of happier times — and gives me hope that we'll be able to weather this storm.
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At a time when the coronavirus pandemic has forced major cities to shut down and caused widespread unemployment, hospitalizations, and death, the temptation to curl up with a feel-good movie on my couch has never been higher.

I'm no stranger to the transportive power of a good rom-com or comedy. As a quiet, introverted kid, movies always brought me a great deal of comfort in times of anxiety, and have continued to do so even as I've made my way into adulthood.

The current pandemic is no exception. With coronavirus-related deaths in New York City, where I live, exceeding 13,000, and residents encouraged to stay home, watching movies has become a small source of hope and comfort for me right now, especially '80s and '90s romantic comedies that take place in New York.

I should add that I'm lucky that I'm able to ease my anxiety by watching these movies, and know there are many — particularly those working on the front lines — who aren't able to spend time at home on their couch/aren't afforded this luxury.

And it goes without saying, but these movies are hardly a cure for the current unprecedented crisis most of us are facing. They don't take the place of the quintessentially New York things that, up until very recently, many of us took for granted, like commuting on a crowded train to an office, walking into a tiny restaurant with a group of friends, and rubbing elbows with people on the sidewalk without worrying about potentially infecting (or being infected by) them. They don't erase the staggering death toll, or the terrifying stories coming out of overburdened hospitals whose dedicated workers are on the brink of exhaustion and illness.

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But there is something vaguely comforting about seeing the city I miss so much portrayed on the big screen. Whether it's the famous scene in "When Harry Met Sally" when Sally (Meg Ryan) fakes an orgasm in front of a packed restaurant while having lunch at Katz's Deli, or the moment in "Moonstruck" when Loretta (Cher) and Ronny (Nicolas Cage) meet in front of the Metropolitan Opera before taking in a performance of "La Bohème," certain romantic comedies have reminded me of why I fell in love with New York in the first place.

New York doesn't feel safe, so I'm finding comfort and hope in '80s and '90s rom-coms
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan star in "You've Got Mail." Warner Bros.

Movies like 'Moonstruck,' 'You've Got Mail,' and 'When Harry Met Sally' make me nostalgic for things like eating out and going to the movies and help me remember happier times

So much of daily life anywhere, but especially in New York, takes place in public spaces, a fact that seems incomprehensible in our current situation, where our small apartments and homes are being touted as the safest place possible. Taking the train to work, meeting a friend at a crowded bar for happy hour, going to the movies or out to a restaurant — these experiences seem like a fantasy now.

Watching Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) and Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) in "You've Got Mail" spar with each other while in line at iconic New York grocery store Zabar's elicits a powerful feeling of nostalgia. When Loretta and Ronny watch the curtain go up at the opera, there's not a mask in sight — and when they eventually celebrate their engagement at the end of "Moonstruck," no one is worried about the health hazards of crowding a large Italian family into a modest brownstone's kitchen.

In some ways, watching these characters effortlessly go through their daily lives is bittersweet. Gone are the days when we could walk to the pharmacy or visit with our neighbors without taking precautions, the specter of the virus looming in our thoughts. And while I know, of course, that these days will return, it's sad to think of how much we took them for granted.

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New York doesn't feel safe, so I'm finding comfort and hope in '80s and '90s rom-coms
Loretta (Cher) and Ronny (Nicolas Cage) attend an opera performance in "Moonstruck."MGM

These movies portray a New York that no longer exists, but that's not necessarily a bad thing

Watching these movies has helped me remember some of the happier times I've experienced since I moved to New York years ago: Meeting my now-boyfriend for the first time in a crowded public park, celebrating my birthday at a hot pot restaurant in Chinatown, and joining friends for post-work drinks at dimly lit bistros.

But the New York I knew is not even the New York in these movies.

Part of the charm of classic films like "Moonstruck" and "When Harry Met Sally" is that they're a snapshot of old New York. Watching Harry and his friend Jess (Bruno Kirby) stop for some (pretty questionable) hot dogs on a street corner, I was amused to notice that a hot dog in 1989 only cost $1, with an extra 25 cents for onions. And having grown up with social media, it's wild to me that the entire premise of 1998's "You've Got Mail" was based on the anonymity of email and AOL Instant Message — Joe and Kathleen's correspondence and eventual romance would have been nipped in the bud if Facebook had been around.

It's more sobering, however, to consider that some of the movies I loved the most focus on pre-9/11 New York. In "Moonstruck," for example, one of the most beautiful scenes features Loretta's grandfather, an elderly Italian man, walking his pack of dogs in Brooklyn Heights at night. Pausing near the Brooklyn Bridge, at the water's edge, he encourages his dogs to howl at the moon — joining in with them as the World Trade Center towers are silhouetted beautifully behind him.

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These movies are almost quaint in their portrayals of a bustling, charming city — the quintessential "if I can make it here, I can make it anywhere" New York attitude is still front and center, but daily life for the characters of "Moonstruck," "You've Got Mail," and "When Harry Met Sally" was a pretty straightforward affair.

The terrors of 9/11, the 2008 recession, and our current pandemic are nowhere to be seen in these movies, meaning that the New York of '80s rom-coms is closer to fantasy than reality. But even though this version of New York no longer exists, it's OK — we managed to make it through anyway.

New York doesn't feel safe, so I'm finding comfort and hope in '80s and '90s rom-coms
Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally (Meg Ryan) share a tender moment in Central Park together.IMDb/Columbia Pictures

With the New York I love feeling so out of reach right now, these movies remind me that things can (and will) get better

There's currently no end in sight to the pandemic — in fact, the leader of the World Health Organization warned on Monday that "the worst" of the coronavirus is "ahead of us." New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has said that numerous factors must align in order for the city to reopen, and so far, that remains a long way off.

So until this nightmare is over, until I can walk the streets with my loved ones and not worry about endangering others or myself, I'll be watching movies that remind me of simpler, happier times.

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They may not make everything (or anything) better, but watching Meg Ryan stand on top of the Empire State Building at the very end of "Sleepless in Seattle" reminds me that eventually, New York will return to normal, as it always has.

We just have to get through this.

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