'The Ultimatum: Queer Love' star Yoly explains her reaction to Mal's proposal: 'I was never gonna get married to Xander'

• Warning: Major spoilers ahead for "The Ultimatum: Queer Love."
• In episode nine, Mal Wright decides to propose to her long-term partner Yoly Rojas.

In episode nine of "The Ultimatum: Queer Love," Yoly Rojas tearfully accepted her partner Mal Wright's proposal. But despite her saying "yes," it was unclear if she was crying tears of happiness or sadness.

Yoly initially gave Mal the ultimatum to either get engaged to her or break up. However, Yoly ended up forming a romantic connection with another contestant on the show, Xander Boger, and their relationship quickly progressed to the two saying "I love you." On proposal day, Yoly appeared distraught over her impending choice.

Asked about what was going through her mind that day, Yoly tells Insider that marrying Xander was never an option.

"It wasn't so much about saying yes to Xander," the reality star says. "I think that might be misconstrued or people might think that I was thinking of getting married to Xander. I was never gonna get married to Xander. We still have so much to discover. It was truly a matter of, 'Is saying yes to Mal what's right for me?'"

Yoly adds that she was conflicted until the last moment, because she didn't know if she should listen to her heart or head.

"The whole time I was literally like, 'Do I? Do not?'" Yoly says. "Hearing Mal's beautiful words. All of that was super touching and I'm a sucker for love. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I'm like, 'Maybe we could still work it out.' But it just was also like, 'Why are you saying this now? Why not before?'"

Yoly adds that she wasn't sure if the extra effort Mal put into their relationship would continue after the show. "I was also questioning the sustainability of it. Is it actually going to continue, or is it just because you saw me in love with somebody? I'm not saying that what she said was not true, but just, you can love someone and still not be right for them and that was blowing me up. It was eating me alive."

In a separate interview, Mal tells Insider that she "never wavered" on the fact that she wanted to get married to Yoly and thinks that the show was more about Yoly figuring out what she wanted.

"Months before the show, our families met each other with the intention of merging our lives together. I'd never done that before," Mal says. "She brought me to 'The Ultimatum' and was like the first one to crumble, but showed up allegedly feeling like she knew that she wanted to spend her life with me."

The pair were broken up by the time the reunion episode filmed. They said that the problems that existed before the show resurfaced and that they handled conflict "unhealthily."

Both reality stars tell Insider that they are friends today.

All episodes of "The Ultimatum: Queer Love" season one are available now.