'Fake it 'til you make it' is the worst career advice I ever got, and it took me years to realize it

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Amy Mewborn.
Courtesy of Amy Mewborn

I was 20 years old when I started my career in a sales position with a major financial company.

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It wasn't quite like the movie Boiler Room, but imagine a bunch of 22-year-olds fresh out of college getting advice on how to make multiple six figures in their first year of finance.

While all of our college friends were stepping out of school getting steady jobs of $50,000 a year (in 1997 dollars), we were working 12-hour days for our $24,000 a year draw and the dream of big commissions.

One day in training, our manager started talking image. He said if we wanted to be the advisers of millionaires, we had to dress like millionaires, talk like millionaires, think like millionaires, and drive what millionaires drove.  

He suggested that we rush out for designer duds and luxury automobiles. As a group of 20-somethings making $24,000 per year, many with rent, car payments, and student loans, we asked How can we afford Armani and Mercedes?”

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“Loans and credit cards, of course, he said. You want to be successful, right?"

Quickly, I started to see a pattern that later was described to me as “the salesperson’s disease.” If you can’t afford it, that’s ok — just borrow more, and eventually, you’ll (hopefully) make enough to pay it back.

Many took the advice to heart and bought the new Lexus or BMW. One guy, “Ron, was 26 and supporting a wife and two kids. About a month later, he came in with a $500-a-month lease on a new BMW. He was responsible for a family of four, but he took on debt to “look the part.” About six months after renting the new car, Ron realized he just couldn’t keep up the lifestyle. So, he quit his sales and went to work as a teller at a bank for the steady paycheck.

My parents had always taught me good financial lessons. They rarely carried a credit card balance, and although I never went without anything I needed, they had no problem telling me, “We can’t afford that” if I wanted something that they couldn’t afford. So fortunately, at 21, I was pretty happy living at home, wearing Ann Taylor suits, and driving my Chevy Malibu. But fast forward about seven years, and I fell prey to a version of the salesperson disease myself.  

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My husband Mike and I both had great jobs with good salaries and generous bonus/commission programs. We made steady money (multiple six figures between the two of us), and it seemed as if it would never end. At 28 years old, we bought our million-dollar San Diego dream home. Our mortgage was $7,000 a month.

Before we made the first payment, Mike lost his job.

Looking back, we should have immediately sold the house. But instead, I felt like I could handle it, and we just kept living our life. Mike became a realtor, working for 100% commission. In a number of ways, we fell into the “fake it ‘til you make it” trap ourselves. We had the million-dollar mortgage, luxury cars, designer apparel, and country club membership. We managed to keep all the balls in the air, but was very trying. It was a lot of balls to keep in the air.

Recently, I realized that I don’t enjoy my stuff nearly as much as I used to. My fancy house and car aren’t bringing me joy. I now have them just because, not because I want them or even because I care how it looks.

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Today, we’re going back to basics. We’re selling the house, and taking some time to travel. The two of us don’t need a 3,700-square-foot home. When all our closets are bursting at the seams, I don’t need a new Prada purse that will be out of style in six months anyway.

I look forward to my life being a little simpler. I look forward to less responsibility. I will still have nice things, but at 40, I no longer have to make it look like I have it all figured out — because I don’t, and that’s ok.

Amy Mewborn, CFP, left a 15-year finance career to help entrepreneurs grow and scale businesses. Her bestselling book, “The Great Escape: The Successful Woman’s Guide To Escaping the 9-5” is meant to help women make good financial decisions to build a business and life they love.

Read the original article on Contributor. Copyright 2016.
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