After talking to a friend, I realized I'd been undervaluing my work - so I upped my rates and I've been growing my net worth ever since

Jandra Sutton

Feb 4, 2020, 23:39 IST

After talking to a friend, I realized I'd been undervaluing my work - so I upped my rates and I've been growing my net worth ever since

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The author is not pictured.

I've had a tough time raising my income over the years. The first time I asked for a raise, I was laughed at by my boss.
After that, I couldn't seem to get my income above $50,000, even went I started freelancing.
After talking to a colleague doing the same work as me, though, I learned she was charging far more than I was per hour and considered me a peer. I was inspired to raise my rates and was able to double my income.
Now, I encourage women to talk to each other about money - we've been trained to think it's taboo, but it's the only way we'll all get ahead.
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I remember the first time I asked for a raise.

When I started my new job at a lower-than-ideal salary, my boss told me to "circle back in six months." I threw myself into my work, dominating my job for the next six months, and - when six months had passed - I created a report filled with data proving how well I'd done. Gathering my courage, I walked into his office … and was promptly laughed at.

I was humiliated. I'd been promised a pay bump "eventually" only to have it ripped out from beneath me, and it set the tone for much of my career. Another employer told me to "be grateful" for my salary - despite it being $20,000 less than my predecessor in the same position - and refused to give me the pay bump I knew I deserved.

As a result, I struggled to break $50,000. With 10 years of experience and two director-level positions in marketing, my salary was a fraction of what it could be with no signs of changing.

I tried everything. Switching industries, advancing (further) in my career, freelancing, creating my own business - I couldn't break past this block in my earning potential until part of me started to believe that getting paid more was impossible.

Eventually, I started offering free and low-cost services, desperate to prove my value to people, only to be taken advantage of.

When people didn't pay, I was too depressed to spend my energy pursuing such a small payment. I thought the solution would be to give away more value, to provide more proof of my worth, without realizing that by giving away all of my work for free, no one had a reason to pay me what I was worth.

When another woman shared her salary information with me, it shifted my perspective on my worth

I'd spent years isolated on my career journey. I was clueless about what to charge as a freelancer, and I had lost touch with what my work was worth. My rates plummeted until I was freelancing at $25 an hour for marketing and consulting.

Then, I met a woman doing the same work I was who shared her rate with me - $100 an hour. She identified me as peer-level, meaning she thought I was worth that amount too.

If she could do it, and if she thought I could do it, then why wasn't I?

That level of transparency blew my mind, and I started getting a better understanding of not only what I could earn (AKA a lot) but also what kind of effort that would entail. I'd convinced myself the only way I could ask for more money was by doing more work, but it turns out I was dramatically undercharging for the work I was doing. (I mean, hello, I was doing most of these things for free!)

This created a spark of hope that I hadn't felt for years.

Suddenly, I was starting to get excited about work again. I was finding new opportunities and saying goodbye to old, low-paying ones. I found a new salaried position that paid me double my previous rate, and I increased my rates as a freelance consultant as well.

Why I encourage women to talk about money

That conversation with my colleague helped me reclaim my sense of self-worth in a way that I'd lost over the years, and I was able to untangle the pieces of myself (including those that had nothing to do with my work) and start to rebuild.

It's not that what you earn should define your value in any way, shape, or form. It shouldn't. But when it feels like no one is recognizing your worth, it can be hard to see it for yourself.

That's why I think sharing your salary information can be so incredibly powerful.

For years, we've been taught that talking about money is taboo. We've been shamed for asking questions, which has left so many of us - myself included - in the dark.

But when we talk about these things, we find a sense of community that is liberating. We help each other grow by challenging the status quo, by encouraging each other to ask for more (and to recognize our own value), and by fostering an environment where clarity can create confidence.

Being open about my income has helped my friends make more money

Since that first chat, I've started having conversations about money within my network, and it's only reinforced the lessons that I've learned about myself.

It's boosted my confidence in myself and my career, it's helped me rediscover my joy for work, and it's helped me recognize that someone else's inability to see my value isn't a reflection of my self-worth (or lack thereof). More often than not, it's about them. Not me.

Even more important than my own journey? These conversations have sparked similar changes for the women I know. One friend successfully bumped her monthly income from $700 to $1,000. Another went from nearly turning down consulting work - thanks to the oh-so-common imposter syndrome, she almost didn't feel she couldn't charge anything for it - to charging $199 per hour of consulting work.

More and more, I'm watching other women ask for more money, recognize their own inherent value within the workplace, and accept that it's okay to talk about money.

In fact, it's probably one of the best things you can do for yourself, your career, and your bank account.