Here's the astronomical amount of money some uber-wealthy Upper East Side moms spend on upkeep each year

REUTERS/Mike Segar

Botox treatments do not come cheap.

In the excerpt below, Martin and a friend calculate the cost of maintaining a "Manhattan Geisha" lifestyle for a year.

What, I wondered aloud to Candace as our Cobb salads materialized before us, did one do in order to be a beautiful-enough woman with children in this world?

And how much did it cost in actual dollars and cents? Candace's hazel eyes, free of crow's-feet thanks to good genes, good diet, and some good, strategic recent Botox, lit up.

Why hadn't we thought of this before? Our salads were soon forgotten-this was more fun than eating.

When we were done, our notes about what we guessed a Manhattan Geisha of the Upper East Side tribe I was studying did for and spent on her upkeep-based on conversations, observations, and a heavily padded version of what we did for ourselves-looked like this.

Head-to-toe analysis of annual cost of self-maintenance for high-mid- to high-ranking UES woman with kids in private school

Hair and scalp

Haircut & color (5x/year @ $500) $2.5K and blowout (weekly @ $70 per, incl. tip) $3.5K = $6K

Hair & makeup stylist for events (10x/year @ $150) = $1.5K

Consult and follow-up w/specialist who does not accept insurance, regarding hair loss due to color, stress, hormones, and/or autoimmune issues caused by stress and hormones = $2K

Face

Quarterly Botox, Restylane, and fillers ($1,000 x 4) = $4K

Monthly peel ($300 x 12) = $3.6K

Monthly facial ($250 x 12) = $3K

Monthly brows: waxing, tweezing, sugaring, or stringing ($50 x 12) = $600

Laser (for sun damage, collagen stimulation, etc.) = $2.5K

Facial skin-care products (cleaner, moisturizer, serum, sunblock, eye cream) = $1.5K

Facial makeup = $1K

Amazon

Exercise classes = $3.5K

Personal trainer = $7.5K

Nutritionist = $1.5K

Juice cleanses = $3.5K if weekly

Mani/pedi = $2K

Massage = $9K if weekly; $4.5K if biweekly

Spray tan = $500

Spa getaway/s = $8K if biannually

Plastic surgery incl. breast augmentation, lipo = wild-card items

Wardrobe

Seasonal Fall/Winter = $3K-20K

Seasonal Spring/Summer = $3K-20K

Events = $5K-20K

Hamptons = $5K

Palm Beach = $5K

Aspen (ski jacket, pants, hat/s, gloves) = $2.5K

Shoes/boots = $5-8K

Bags = $5-10K

Total: $~95,000

Elena Seibert

Wednesday Martin is the author of "Primates of Park Avenue: A Memoir."

Something like $95,000, on the low end, just to be beautiful enough and well-enough dressed and well-enough shod and sufficiently well tended to be in the game.

"We are not telling our husbands," she intoned seriously as we kissed good-bye and parted on the street.

Although maybe that would have been a good idea, since we were cheap dates compared with others we knew.

"Hey!" she shouted seconds later from the window of the cab she had just hopped into: "We didn't even count drivers and Ubers to get to and from the stores and appointments!" She was right.

But I didn't have the appetite to revisit our figures. I felt dizzy.

In spite of this fact, I had an outfit to plan, and some shopping to do.

"Primates of Park Avenue" is available for purchase at Amazon.

Courtesy of Simon & Schuster. Copyright © 2015 by Wednesday Martin.