Modern love in India: For young Indians it is mind over matter

• Physical appearance seems to be less important as 34% of women respondents claimed that they prioritise emotional intimacy and intelligence.
  
• Honesty and being friends first are more important to daters in India than responding to text messages quickly.
  
• Being married, living together and having a child are the top end goals for Indians who are on dating apps.
  

Writing love letters, candlelit dinners and big gestures are considered to be most romantic to daters in India, according to Modern Love Report 2023 released by dating site Bumble. Even though grand gestures are considered romantic, an estimated 39% of single Indians feel that Valentine's Day is overrated and they do not feel the need to celebrate it irrespective of if they are dating or not.

What matters the most for Indians wanting to fall in love? According to the report, it looks like the country is filled with sapiosexuals, a term used to describe feeling attraction based on the intellect or intelligence of the partner.

Physical appearance seems to be less important as 34% of women respondents claimed that they prioritise emotional intimacy and intelligence, whereas only 21% prioritise physical intimacy when committing to a serious, long-term relationship.

“In 2023 people want to focus on challenging the status quo and outdated, antiquated dating norms without compromising on their choices, desires and needs. Women are prioritising emotional intimacy over physical requirements, and are open to dating without worrying about age gaps and judgements” Samarpita Samaddar, India communications director, Bumble said.

This should come as a huge relief – especially with Valentine’s Day around the corner – to potential daters, who feel the pressure to prove one’s love through gifts, gestures and compliments, especially during early stages of dating when one is getting to know the other person. And days like Valentine’s only pile on the pressure.

Honesty wins the day

While last year’s Tinder Year in Swipe report 2022 found being funny and light-hearted were considered hugely attractive, the Bumble report respondents turned to more serious concerns. For its survey respondents, being clear about your intentions and the willingness to commit are top priorities while dating.

“Honesty (49%) and being friends first (43%) are more important to daters in India than responding to text messages quickly (26%),” Bumble said. “27% of women respondents claim that it’s important that their partner gives them space and not be clingy in the early stages of dating,” it added. Singles and couples alike should take note.

Not just honesty and friendship, what friends and family think of your significant other is also important. About 40% of single women surveyed claim to be influenced by their family members’ opinions and another 40% by their friends’ opinions while making decisions about their dating lives.

Age no bar

While it is no revelation that age is no bar in love, Bumble study revealed additional insights into the hearts of women.

Looking ahead in 2023, 38% of single women surveyed admitted to being comfortable dating someone younger (1-5 years).

“Outdated societal norms still dictate how women are pressured to feel when it comes to age in relationships even in 2023. Almost 2 in 5 (39%) single women surveyed admit it gets more difficult to date when you get older as a woman, this is true for more millennial women (44%) than Gen Zs (35%),” Bumble reported.

When it came to what Indians wanted out of dating, the report revealed that over half (53%) of respondents said living together was their end goal when dating while almost half (49%) of the respondents said being married was their end goal when looking for a relationship.

About 51% of Gen Z respondents claim living together is the end goal of their dating journey. A third (33%) of the respondents said having a child/children is their end goal when looking for a relationship.

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