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A North Carolina pastor who narrowly escaped death used sign language to organize an anniversary date for his wife 1 year after she stopped doctors from harvesting his organs

Erin Snodgrass   

A North Carolina pastor who narrowly escaped death used sign language to organize an anniversary date for his wife 1 year after she stopped doctors from harvesting his organs
  • Doctors declared a North Carolina pastor brain dead last year and were ready to harvest his organs.
  • But Megan Marlow demanded more tests, saving her husband's life in the process.

Earlier this month, Ryan Marlow did what was once unthinkable: He took his wife of 17 years on an anniversary date.

It was a seemingly small surprise that other wives in other marriages might take for granted. But just one year ago, Megan Marlow was planning her husband's funeral.

The family's incredible saga made headlines last year when doctors erroneously declared Ryan brain dead following a bout of rapid-onset listeria and subsequent hemorrhagic stroke. Doctors told Megan her husband was unresponsive and had suffered "neurological death," even marking an official time of death on Ryan's death certificate, she told Insider last year.

As an organ donor, Ryan would be left on life support until suitable matches could be found. But on the morning of his organ procurement, as family members gathered in the hospital room playing videos of the couple's three children singing and laughing, Ryan wiggled his toes, Megan said. She immediately demanded one more round of tests.

A CT scan showed there was still blood flow in Ryan's brain, Megan, 36, told Insider in an interview earlier this year. Ryan was not brain dead, after all, but in a coma. The organ procedure was called off just minutes before it was set to begin.

It's now been nearly a year since Ryan first fell ill and six months since he returned home to his wife and three children in Wilkesboro following months of inpatient recovery work.

In an interview this week, Megan told Insider the last six months have been full of tribulations — including insurance battles and infections — as well as joyful triumphs. Ryan's at-home rehabilitation is going well, she said. He can stand with help and even reflexively kicked a ball with his left leg recently, despite having little to no mobility on that entire side.

"He's just so much stronger in the last two months," Megan said. "It's been amazing to see."

Ryan still has trouble swallowing and has to eat through a feeding tube. He can't yet speak due to nerve damage, Megan said, but he communicates with friends and family using sign language on his right side and can nod his head in response to yes-or-no questions.

He put that hard-earned mobility to romantic use earlier this month in anticipation of the couple's seventeenth wedding anniversary, Megan said. Ryan set about planning a dream date for his wife, who currently serves as a caretaker and nurse to her husband, as well as mother and homeschool teacher to the couple's three young kids.

Ryan communicated with Megan's sister and niece to dictate exactly what he needed for the occasion. He wanted to get her a big bouquet of flowers, she said, and signed to her family members exactly what kind of flowers he wanted.

"They were all my favorite kinds," Megan said.

Ryan also organized dinner reservations and gave Megan a gift card to buy herself a new outfit, she wrote in a Facebook post about their anniversary.

"We dressed up and got all fancy like a date," Megan told Insider. "We went out, but he can't eat, so I felt strange. But that's what he wanted to do!"

To celebrate the momentous anniversary, Megan said she created a slideshow full of photos of the couple from the last 17 years. The memories wrought tears from everyone in the family, she said, as the Marlows reflected on all they have overcome together in the past year.

"There are times I struggle but I try to stay pretty positive for him," Megan said. "He says he does get sad or frustrated because he can't talk or communicate. He can't tell his kids he loves them."

But the family is hopeful as they look to the next year. Ryan's next goals are learning to walk with an assistance device and begin efforts to try speaking again, Megan said. Ongoing support from the community has been indelible, she added.

"I've asked him if he was angry," she said. "He says he's not. He knows that God has a purpose and a plan."



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