Here's the right way to practice gratitude with your employees this Thanksgiving — and what to avoid saying

• Scott Dust is the chief research officer at Cloverleaf, a technology platform for integrated performance management, and a professor at the Farmer School of Business at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio.
• As the holiday season begins this year amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Dust says there's a right and wrong way to encourage gratitude with your coworkers.
• Leaders shouldn't remind employees to be grateful they are employed during the pandemic; instead, thank your colleagues for continuing to put their best foot forward despite uncertainty and constant changes.

As Thanksgiving approaches, we're reminded to be grateful for what we have. But for many workers, 2020 has been rough.

The pandemic-induced economic challenges have cost many employees their jobs or have forced them to accept less pay and more work. Many of those still employed are doing double-duty as they manage the remote learning of their children. And most importantly, many employees risk their health while being physically present at work to keep the economy moving.

Should we buck up and be grateful?

Gratitude is indeed a positive character trait. It's hard to argue with that. I would caution, however, that gratitude is like a dangerous weapon. It's a form of self-defense with protective qualities. But when mishandled, the result is less than ideal.

Using gratitude as a coping mechanism

When something bad happens, whether it be big or small, being grateful is a great way to stop sulking. There is always something in our lives to be thankful for. There's always a silver lining.

Keep in mind, though, that gratitude is only helpful when used as a form of "emotion-focused" coping — it helps us regroup and maintain productive levels of emotional well-being. Alternatively, gratitude does not help with "problem-focused" coping — where we pinpoint the obstacles and develop a plan for making things better.

It's critical to not confuse the two, and remember that we need both. Gratitude should give you perspective, but it should not be a pathway for accepting sub-par circumstances.

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Having an insincere source of gratitude

It's also important to consider where the gratitude prime is coming from. Research consistently illustrates that self-prescribed gratitude interventions, through activities like gratitude journaling, are beneficial for our well-being.

But what about when someone else reminds us to be grateful? I've heard employees in a variety of different industries grumble about several well-intentioned, but misguided organizational communique.

Terminating employees is a valid way to maintain cash flow. But reminding those who remain that at least they still have a job will fall flat. That's not empathy. You could even argue that that insinuates they weren't being grateful in the first instance.

Organizations should let employees be grateful on their own terms. Further, organizations should be talking about their plans for making things better. For example, they could acknowledge employee sacrifices, outline plans for making employees whole in the future, and discuss their plans for how to get there.

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A better way to approach to gratitude

Thanksgiving is here — gratitude reminders galore. Being grateful is quite easy when life is humming along just fine. When life is not so easy, like in 2020, that's when gratitude gets tricky.

Yes, you should be thankful for what you have. Not only does gratitude increase your own well-being, it increases the well-being of others. Self-reflect on your blessings, discuss them with family and friends, and say thank you to those that deserve it.

But don't let gratitude allow you to be stagnant. It's important to continue to work towards improving your life, and more importantly, the lives of others.

And yes, our colleagues and employees should be grateful that they are gainfully employed, even if their current arrangement is less than what they originally agreed to. But bite your tongue, and let them come to that conclusion on their own.

The best organizational leaders don't remind others to be grateful. Instead, they role model gratitude by expressing how much they appreciate the efforts of their employees.

Scott Dust is an assistant professor of management at the Farmer School of Business at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. He is also the chief research officer at Cloverleaf, a technology platform for integrated performance management.