My 4 kids and I started writing in a gratitude journal every night, and it's helped us better appreciate the small things we often overlook

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My 4 kids and I started writing in a gratitude journal every night, and it's helped us better appreciate the small things we often overlook
Rachel Cherry White/INSIDER

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  • Research shows that gratitude is consistently associated with greater happiness and being a more positive person.
  • My family and I decided to start writing in a gratitude journal together every night, and it has been a step in the right direction to shift our mindset to a more grateful one.
  • "Tiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal" offers thoughtful prompts for all ages as well as coloring pages for those nights when you just need to unwind.

I've always prided myself on having kind children. Good manners are important to me, and I've made it a point to instill "please" and "thank you" since they started speaking. Even my teenagers give me a hug and a kiss when they head into school.

But recently, the 30-minute ride to school began to disintegrate into bickering about what music to listen to or complaining about the snacks packed in their lunches. Any attempts at our usual car ride games fell quickly into fighting, and rewards often went unappreciated.

I have my degree in child development, and my kids had me reading parenting books, wondering where I was going wrong. My conclusion: Their attitude was one of entitlement, not gratitude. We needed to shift our thinking.

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Studies show that gratitude makes people feel better about their lives and improves relationships. Some researchers found that the old adage "count your blessings" is wise advice that translates to a better mood, more optimism, and even improved physical health.

Could this translate to more positivity with my kids? I decided to start with a gratitude journal that we'd write in together every night.

What you'll find in the 'Tiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal'

I chose the "Tiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal" because I really liked the look of it and the prompts seemed fun for the whole family. The book is a little smaller than your average hardcover book. The cover is a gorgeous teal color with a smooth matte finish that feels soothing, like a worry stone. It is somewhere between a hardcover and a paperback. We've had it for more than six months and it has held up well. My kids are tough on books and there is virtually no wear and tear on this one.

The inside has a few coloring pages for those nights when you just need to unwind or would like to color/meditate instead of write. The rest of the pages have thoughtful prompts, including "What is your favorite season and why do you look forward to it?" and "What challenges are you proud you have overcome?"

What it's like to use this journal

We started writing in the journal the night that it arrived. It took some prodding to get my kids to start thinking, but once they did, I was surprised. They mentioned things I never knew they noticed.

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One of the prompts asks, "What do you appreciate about nighttime?" And my daughter's answer ("Mom gives me back rubs in bed.") was an eye-opener. This is what she associates about nighttime? It warmed my heart. Another night, the question was "What do you appreciate about your heritage?" It opened up an amazing discussion about my children's Polish/Irish/Puerto Rican ancestry and my grandparents.

It wasn't long before we started seeing our family expressing more gratitude.

Last week, when I brought chips to after school pickup, my 11-year-old started complaining; she really wanted some other brand. But all it took was a look and she changed her tune. "Sorry, Mom," she said. "I like this kind. Thanks for getting them for me. Maybe next time could you get the other ones?"

Another day, my daughter was mindful of just how happy she was. "I just love going to the beach with you guys," she said as she offered me a hug while we walked on the sand. The rides to school? Well, they're improving, with reminders before we get into the car.

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It's great for parents, not just kids

Although I bought this book for my kids, I was surprised to find the biggest change in myself. I was hating my wakeup routine. It involved rolling over as soon as I was conscious and checking my phone, and it started my day off in the worst way, frantic about work and tasks I needed to check off.

Since I put gratitude in the forefront of my mind, I started leaving my phone in the kitchen. I bought a simple alarm clock to wake me up, and when I do, I roll over, look out the window, and think of three things I'm thankful for that day. It may be something I get to do that day with the family, or a yummy dinner I plan to make. It gets me in a mindset of appreciation.

I enjoy flipping through the book; it's a beautiful snapshot of the last six months. I plan to pull it out during the tough teenage years to remind me of how sweet they actually are.

The bottom line

This journal has been a step in the right direction for our family to shift our mindset to a more grateful one. My children have started thinking more about others' feelings and are being kinder to each other. And sometimes my kids actually notice things in the moment to be thankful for. I saw some big changes in myself as well, as my mindset moved to one of appreciation.

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