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A mom had her first baby at 25 and her second at 42. There were big differences.

Jane Ridley   

A mom had her first baby at 25 and her second at 42. There were big differences.
  • Angela Lambert got pregnant at the age of 25, raising her child as a single mom.
  • She had her second child at the age of 42 with her partner of nine years.

Angela Lambert was near the beginning of her nursing career when she found out she was pregnant at 24.

"I was in a casual relationship," she told Business Insider of the surprise news in 2004.

She said her boyfriend reacted by saying "he couldn't be bothered" to have a baby, and she barely saw him again.

But her family rallied around her. "My mom, dad, two sisters, and brother were amazing," she said.

Lambert described her daughter, Jasmin, now 18 and in college, as a "kind, smart introvert" and thought she would always be an only child.

But, after Lambert met her partner, Mark Lockitt, she realized she wanted another baby. Their daughter, Alyssa, was born in 2022 — more than 16 years after Jasmin.

Lambert, who was 25 when she had Jasmin, was 42 when Alyssa arrived. She said she was often asked what it was like to revisit diapers and nursing after such a long break.

People were also interested in the contrast between being a young, first-time, and mature second-time parent.

The 43-year-old described the differences, including the ways her body coped with pregnancy and birth at different ages.

The earlier pregnancy was easier

Lambert told Business Insider she had a simpler ride during her first pregnancy than her second.

"When I was expecting Alyssa, I remember phoning my mom, saying, "Why am I so tired all the time?'" she said.

"Mom is a very blunt speaker. 'It's because you were 24 when you had your last pregnancy, and you're not that age anymore,' she replied."

The biomedical scientist said she suffered bouts of morning sickness both times. But she " bounced back much faster" in the mid-2000s.

"I'd vomit and then just get on with things, as if nothing had happened," she said. "But, 16 years later, I felt constantly exhausted."

She said that she put on nearly twice as much weight with Alyssa than Jasmin — and the pounds had proven harder to shift as an older mom.

But, she said, she doesn't beat herself up about it.

"I belong to groups on Facebook for older moms dealing with pregnancy," Lambert went on. "We share the same concerns and can discuss them freely."

She said social media made her feel "more supported" and "less alone" as a mom in her 40s in 2024. She said she was reassured by statistics that showed more women than ever were having babies in their 40s, creating a community for older moms.

Lambert experienced birth complications as an older mom

The mom said that she was in such little pain when she had Jasmin, she fell asleep "in the middle of pushing."

The labor lasted about 26 hours, but her 25-year-old body took it in stride.

"She was three and a half weeks early and only weighed 5 five pounds," Lambert said. "I was very lucky because everything went smoothly."

She recalled how the midwife "shouted 'Wake up!'" when the baby was crowning. "It didn't hurt at all until that point," she said.

The second time — when she was considered a "high-risk pregnancy" because of her older age — was more complicated.

"They monitored my blood pressure closely and saw that I was at risk of pre-eclampsia," Lambert said. She experienced dizziness, headaches, and swollen legs and feet.

The doctors induced her at 39 weeks, and the labor lasted around six hours. Alyssa weighed 9 ounces more than Jasmin at birth.

"Mom was my birth partner with Jasmin, and Mark stepped up this time," Lambert, who had an epidural and "breathed through the contractions," said.

Lambert doesn't want her baby to look at her older sister as a parent figure

Lambert said her experience as a single mom was "unusual" because she moved in with her parents during her pregnancy. She stayed until Jasmin was 13 months old.

She said her mom, dad, brother, and older and younger sister surrounded them with "love and security." It helped because her two younger siblings were over decade younger than her. As a result, her mom wasn't "as far past" the diaper stage as she might have been.

Lambert said the veteran nurse from Hong Kong seized the opportunity to teach her daughter parenting techniques she grew up with.

"She would bring Jasmin to me to breastfeed and we established a regular sleep pattern," the mom said. "The baby had her own bedroom at 6 months old. There were so many times in the middle of the night when my mom would just get up and go deal with her rather than me.

"Jasmin was an easy baby. When we moved out, I said to my mom, 'You were right about everything.'"

Lambert said that she and Lockitt, a 46-year-old IT worker, followed much of the same advice when Alyssa was born.

As for Jasmin, Lambert said she didn't want the teen to feel like she had "a responsibility" to "take care" of Alyssa because she was old enough to be her mother at the age of 18.

"When I was pregnant, people would say, 'Oh, you've got a built-in babysitter,'" the mom said. "I'd correct them and say, "No, I want her to be a sister to her. Not a parent figure.'

"There's a big age gap — but I just want them to be friends."

Do you have a powerful story to share with Business Insider? Please send details to jridley@businessinsider.com.



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