After watching 2 friends left broke and nearly homeless when their husbands died, I bought life insurance immediately

Courtesy Monica Romano

The author and her mother in 2019.

• After my mother's divorce, she renamed me as the beneficiary on her life insurance policy.
• I haven't had life insurance for years because my term policy ended and my son is grown up and financially stable on his own.
• But after watching two friends lose their spouses unexpectedly and struggle to pay for their husbands' final expenses - plus mortgages and other household bills - I wanted to ensure my mother wouldn't suffer financially in the event of my death.
• So I purchased a five-year term life insurance policy for $40 a month, and it's worth every penny.
• Need life insurance? Get a quote today from Policygenius and protect your loved ones »

"I don't want you spending your money on me," my mother said, shaking her head as she poured us both coffee. We were sitting at her kitchen table talking about money, the same place where many financial discussions had taken place over the years.

We hugged, and I reminded her that I was only returning her love and concern. She had kept her life insurance policy after her divorce and renamed me as the beneficiary.

Life insurance is one of those uncomfortable topics for family discussion. Yet in life, death and taxes are certain.

And so, as I entered a new stage in life - turning 50 and transitioning from many years of hospice nursing to a career as a freelance writer - I gave myself a Thanksgiving deadline to purchase a new life insurance policy. It was time - whether my mother agreed or not.

A reminder of the value of life insurance

I had term life insurance for many years when my son was young and dependent on me. I also held mortgage insurance on my condo for him. Those policies have since run their course. My son is now grown and married with a condo of his own. For many years I have had no life insurance coverage because there was no need.

Recently, though, I've found myself thinking about it - certainly not because I missed paying the premiums. Perhaps it was because I witnessed two of my friends left nearly homeless after their husbands died suddenly. Neither of their husbands had life insurance, and one of them had a teenage daughter.

This prompted me to take a closer look at life insurance, even though I was single. It was hitting too close to home.

My friends had discussed life insurance with their husbands many times. Although they realized the importance, it had become one of those things they intended to get around to "someday."

After the death of her husband, I helped one friend sort through papers in his office. She had found a life insurance policy issued by his employer that needed only his signature. We were both stunned. She just stared at it in shock. "He always thought there would be another tomorrow. He never wanted to talk about dying."

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Because their husbands were the primary breadwinners of their families, my friends were left with mortgages and all the household expenses

It was heartbreaking to watch them overwhelmed by grief and struggling to manage daily life and the avalanche of unpaid bills.

Despite having some savings, one friend had to launch a crowdfunding campaign to help with her husband's funeral and the utility bills. My other friend was forced to sell her home to avoid foreclosure. They both eventually got back on their feet with the help of their communities, but they endured so much undue stress that a life insurance policy could have alleviated.

Assessing my own policy needs

This got me thinking about my 83-year-old mother. As a German immigrant who survived WW2, she has always lived frugally. Although she doesn't depend on me financially and is in excellent health, I don't want her burdened with any expenses related to my premature death. Since we are both single, we decided to protect each other with life insurance.

Even though my mother had her policy in place for me, she initially resisted my reciprocation. She's one of those parents who made every sacrifice for us kids and has always been fiercely independent. My siblings and I joke that it's the stubborn German in her.

However, when I shared my concerns with her that Social Security may eventually run out, it helped convince her to let me name her as the beneficiary of my policy.

After some comparison shopping, I purchased a five-year term policy with a value of $50,000. My payments are $40 monthly, or approximately eight lattes in coffee currency. Definitely affordable and well worth it.

Deciding when, how much, and for whom is a personal decision

Financial experts offer mixed advice about life insurance. Sure, if you're a young, married couple with a newborn baby, a policy is crucial. The primary function of life insurance is to replace the income for those who are financially dependent upon it. It can also help offset funeral expenses and settle any outstanding debts the insured may have.

But life insurance serves another purpose  -  peace of mind. That's why I choose to have it. I sleep better knowing my mother would be protected should anything happen to me.

So, if you find yourself in a unique situation wondering if you actually need life insurance, ultimately it's your life and your choice whether to insure it or not.

I would recommend having one of those uncomfortable conversations with your family and assessing your life insurance needs, just as you would health or car insurance. Your life insurance needs are as unique as you are and there are affordable policies available at every life stage.

There's not much that has been left unsaid between my mother and me. She knows how much I appreciate and love her. So, there were only a few words needed in the sealed note I enclosed with her copy of my policy: "Ich liebe dich." Which means "I love you" in German.

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