A millennial manager who quit over return to office says some bosses who need to see 'butts in seats' are just bad at their jobs

• Danielle, a millennial digital marketing manager, quit her job over a push to return-to-office.
• She loves remote work, and said her and her team had been working productively.

Danielle, a millennial manager in the Midwest, loves working from home. Even prior to the pandemic, she worked remotely a day or two a week at her digital marketing job.

The full-time remote work the pandemic brought means she's been more available to her spouse, to her kids, and to just slow down a little bit. She felt healthier — she was sleeping more, and walking more — and, all in all, it was a great transition for her. Even as a manager, she wasn't worried about not seeing her direct reports in front of her every day.

And it wasn't just Danielle, whose last name and employment are known to Insider, thriving under remote work: During the first two years of working remotely, she said the company's party line was "productivity is up, we're saving so much money as a company, everything is great, you are all so great, thank you so much for all your hard work."

But between 2021 and 2022, Danielle felt that there was a shift among corporations, and it seemed that many decided that they'd had enough of remote work. The messaging was shifting away from what a boon remote work was, and firms were saying instead that they needed people back in seats.

Danielle felt her company had been influenced by the return-to-office discourse because she said there were never any moments where the firm noted that productivity was declining. They began trying to get people back in, slowly but surely. When she saw the return-to-office writing on the wall, she began looking for new roles; after her remote status was denied, it became clear that this job configuration was just not going to work.

It's a conundrum workers are increasingly facing. Many, especially parents like Danielle, found themselves reconfiguring their lives around remote work and said it's been productive both professionally and personally. It might not be the ideal arrangement for everyone, especially as some research shows that fully remote workers are less productive than their in-office counterparts.

But for those thriving under remote work, firms' attempts — or orders —to get everyone back in has come as an unpleasant shock. For Danielle, who was a manager, it also points to failures in managing.

So, early this year, Danielle left her old role for an all-remote job at a hybrid-first company. At that firm, the push isn't to get people into the office, but instead to figure out how to stay in communication and be productive in a remote and hybrid environment.

"The tools are there. The ability is there. It is just whether or not people are willing to move into the new way of working," she said. "And I think with any big shift, in any social shift, you've got the people who just really want to hang onto the old way."

The most insecure managers need to have eyes on their workers

Workers who have quit rather than returned to office have continually pointed fingers at micromanagers suffering from productivity paranoia as a reason for being forced back into the office — bosses fearing their remote workers are less productive when they're not being constantly monitored in-person.

"The people who are in any type of manager or leadership role, if they have to see people, if they have to see butts in seats to think people are working, they don't know how people work," Danielle said.

Danielle, who worked as a remote manager, found her own ways to manage a virtual team. For her, keeping lines of communication open — from weekly one-on-ones to team chats to collaborative documents — helped keep things running smoothly.

"If you're going to be a good manager, it's your job to understand how do people work best — and it's also your job to stay in strong communication with your team," she said, adding: "I actually think remote work makes open communication easier if you use the tools well."

Having that open communication meant that her reports weren't afraid to let her know that they needed a few hours to deal with a tricky personal situation, or take some mental health time. That openness and empathy benefits more than just workers.

"I truly believe that people enjoy being productive when they have a team that acknowledges the hard work they're doing, and I think that that applies regardless of if somebody's remote or in person," Danielle said. "My thought is always it is the most insecure managers who need to see the people on their team to feel like they're doing something. It just makes me feel like they're bad at their job."

She thinks the push back into office is productivity propaganda that keeps getting resurfaced, even though she doesn't believe it's true. When she was in the office, she said, she witnessed plenty of people playing on their phones underneath their desks or scrolling Facebook. Just because someone's sitting in an office doesn't make them productive.

The twist? Her old job has been posted online — listed as a remote position.

"Companies are going to realize if you want a diversity of talent, you cannot keep your circle small," she said. "You have to open up, and if you're going to open up, you have to be open to hybrid or remote or a different way of being. I do think that companies are going to kind of be forced into this new way of working."

Do you have strong feelings about remote work versus in-office work? Share your story at jkaplan@insider.com.