8 ways to give your partner an earth-shattering clitoral and vaginal orgasm

• Set the mood by dimming the lights, giving each other massages to relax, or lighting candles.
• To give someone a clitoral orgasm, be sure to stimulate the entire area and ask your partner what they like.
• To give someone a vaginal orgasm, try positions like doggy style and cowgirl to stimulate the G-spot.

Making someone with a vulva orgasm can be tricky. While 95% of heterosexual men report that they always or usually orgasm from sex, only 65% of heterosexual women say the same.

Furthermore, it's estimated that just about 18% of women say penetration alone is enough to have an orgasm, and that about 37% of women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.

Needless to say, people with vulvas need some extra TLC and special attention to erogenous zones in order to become fully aroused, feel pleasure, and ultimately, have an orgasm.

Here are some sex therapist approved tips for giving someone with a vulva an orgasm.

Set the mood

Before diving right into sexual activity, it can help to set the mood. Compared to people with penises, vulva owners tend to need more time to build arousal, says Sari Cooper, LCSW, certified sex therapist and founder and director of the Center for Love and Sex.

You can set the mood by tapping into your partners' senses, depending on their personal preferences. For example, Cooper says you may try:

• Having you and/or your partner slip into something sexy
• Dimming the lights in a romantic way
• Lighting candles or incense for pleasurable scents
• Giving each other erotic massages to relax the body

These are steps you can take to not only help your partner get turned on, but also to help them relax, which is essential for having a great orgasm. As always, communication is key. Listen carefully to what your partner says so that you can cultivate an environment and experience that's sexy to them.

How to give someone a clitoral orgasm

Clitoral stimulation is key for many people with vulvas. Here are four tips for giving someone a clitoral orgasm.

1. Ask your partner what they like

The clitoris is very nerve-dense and incredibly sensitive, says Jordan Rullo, PhD, certified sex therapist with women's health app Flo.

Due to its sensitivity, some people may prefer indirect clitoral stimulation instead of direct stimulation.

Everyone's different, so communicating with your partner and asking them what they like can save you some trouble and result in more pleasure for them.

"If they don't know, try circular rubbing on the clitoris and near the clitoris, all along asking your partner how it feels or using their non-verbal cues to guide your movements," says Rullo.

If you aren't getting a lot of obvious signs that your partner is feeling good, you can ask one-word easy questions to keep the vibe going, Cooper says. For example, she says you can ask:

• More?
• Circles?
• Strokes?
• Softer?

2. Stimulate the entire clitoris

The clitoris is more than just the external pea-sized bump at the top of the vaginal lips — there are also the bulbs of the clitoris, comprised of erectile tissue, which can actually be stimulated through the labia, says Jessica O'Reilly, PhD, sexologist and host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast.

To do this, O'Reilly says you can cup your hand around their lips, resting your hand on the pelvic mound, and then pulse, rub, or grind in this area. Or, you can use a vibrating toy across the entire length of the lips.

3. Give oral sex

For many people, oral sex can be a surefire path to pleasure and orgasm, says O'Reilly. When giving oral sex, O'Reilly recommends trying out these tips:

• Lick around the thighs first to build anticipation
• Stick your tongue out and press it against their lips, moving your head slowly back and forth like you're shaking your head "no"
• Use your thumb to rub the clitoris while using your mouth lower on the vagina
• Experiment with different pressure and intensities
• Follow the rhythm of their hips
• Look up at them and make eye contact
• Tell them how much you love going down on them

4. Use sex toys

Incorporating sex toys in the bedroom is a great way to bring some new excitement into sex as well as increase likelihood of orgasm.

Cooper says you can ask your partner to show you how they like to use toys themselves so you get to learn what they like, and from there, you can follow their lead or add in some of your own moves.

Typical vibrators are great, or your partner may prefer a newer type of toy that creates suction and uses air for different types of sensations.

Best sex toys

If you are looking to incorporate toys in the bedroom but aren't sure where to start, check out our guide to the best sex toys.

• Best vibrator for couples involving females: We-Vibe Tango X, $79 on We-Vibe
• Best budget vibrator: Vibe, $49 on Maude
• Best butt plug: Anal Training Kit & Education Set, $159.99 on B-Vibe

How to give someone a vaginal orgasm

When people talk about vaginal orgasms, they're typically referring to G-spot orgasms. The G-spot is an erogenous zone that's about two inches deep into the vagina, on its front wall. It's believed that G-spot orgasms occur because it's actually the internal parts of the clitoris being stimulated. Here are four tips for giving someone this type of orgasm.

1. Be sure they're warmed up

If someone's going to have a vaginal orgasm, it's more likely to occur if they've had a clitoral orgasm first, Cooper says. So, you may want to use the above tips for clitoral orgasm before moving internally. Additionally, O'Reilly suggests only going for G-spot stimulation once someone is highly aroused to make the experience more comfortable and pleasurable in general.

2. Use your fingers

To stimulate the G-spot manually, insert a finger and feel for a sponge-like area, and then do a "come hither" motion with your finger to stimulate the area, starting off slowly and then eventually going faster and using more pressure, says Rullo.

Additionally, you can add another finger if your partner would like. Be sure to follow along with verbal and non-verbal cues to see what feels good for them, and don't hesitate to ask for feedback so you know what they really want.

3. Find the right positions

If you move on to penetrative sex, whether with a penis or a strap-on, Cooper says to aim for positions that make the G-spot easier to access. You can also try positions that put your partner in control, so that they can angle themselves to be hitting their G-spot and control the depth and intensity. A few positions great for G-spot orgasms are:

• Missionary (place a pillow or wedge under their hips to get a better angle)
• Doggy style
• Cowgirl

4. Use sex toys

There are plenty of sex toys to choose from that are meant for the G-spot. Additionally, Cooper says you can opt for toys such as rabbit vibrators which will stimulate both the G-spot and the clitoris, which gives your partner the opportunity for a blended orgasm, and an increased chance at giving them an orgasm in general.

Insider's takeaway

These tips are a great place to start if you're looking to pleasure your partner with a vulva, but don't forget to learn what your partner specifically likes so you have the best chance of pleasing them and giving them an orgasm. "Everybody is different, so communicate with your partners to find out what they like and keep an open mind. Explore for pleasure rather than touching to create one specific outcome," says O'Reilly.