A sex-ed company interviewed nearly 2,000 people about their sex lives. Their findings were alarming

In a world where sex sells, it seems like no one’s buying what’s on the menu. Digital sex-ed platform Beducated asked 1,885 people to spill the tea on their sex lives, and the results are in: we’re craving more, but getting terribly less. In fact, one of the most surprising takeaways was that a whopping 60% of respondents admitted they were either “neutral,” “dissatisfied,” or “very dissatisfied” with their sex lives.

What do men and women want?

While both men and women are equally satisfied — or dissatisfied — with their sex lives, what they wanted differed. For one, a fifth of the people noted that they had mismatched sex drives. And this trend only gets worse as the relationship progresses. By the fifth year, nearly 40% of the men noted feeling like their partners had a lower libido than theirs.

Meanwhile, 25% of the women rated their libido as “low” or “nonexistent”, which is a horrifying two times as many men. A vast majority of women also would like to work on their confidence in the bedroom.
However, things turn slightly more interesting when it comes to managing sex and stress. While most respondents called stress a sex-killer, it seems to affect a great deal more women than men — 75% versus the men’s 50%. The study’s author explains this trend due to the different types of stress both genders face in their day-to-day lives.

“Men are feeling the heat from work stress, which, for the most part, they can shake off once they clock out,” explains Mariah Freya, the co-founder of Beducated. “Women, on the other hand, are grappling with more financial stress, which could be explained by the gender pay gap, a higher likelihood of single parenthood, or the fact that mothers are more likely to work part-time than their male peers. There’s also more family stress, which makes sense since women still shoulder the bulk of caregiving and housework.”

While most respondents of the study hailed from developed countries such as the United States, Canada and the UK, similar problems of gender inequality persist in even developing nations. One respondent even detailed how stress manifested physically, causing vaginal dryness and heightened irritability. Another shared how stress-induced fatigue made it impossible to muster the energy for intimacy.

And yes, there is the persisting orgasm gap. Despite numerous conversations around sexual wellness and equality, Beducated’s survey showed that the orgasm gap persists. A large number of women are still reporting lower levels of satisfaction compared to men, with many admitting that their sexual encounters lack the climax they crave.

More sex, but what’s the point?

It is perhaps unsurprising that most people want to have more sex. Despite the fact that 57% reported the need for more consistent sexual experiences, the data found that a large number of them were already having pretty regular sex. So, is the problem actually that they weren’t having enough sex, or is it that the sex simply isn’t fulfilling enough?

“Sexual satisfaction doesn’t just come with regular sex, it also requires deep intimacy and a strong connection,” Freya notes. “It would be interesting to know how fulfilling those sexual encounters truly are.”
However, some issues were common across the board. Nearly all of respondents said they wished either they or their partner would be more communicative about their sexual needs.

Solution is more communication, less stress, and... gym time?

The survey points to clear solutions — better communication, less stress, and never stopping the learning process when it comes to intimacy. Freya emphasised that sexual education shouldn’t end in adolescence — adults need to learn how to communicate their needs, explore their sexuality, and prioritise pleasure.

Interestingly, a few respondents also highlighted physical activity as a libido booster. In fact, as per the report, those who exercised were 22% likelier to report being “satisfied” or “very satisfied” with their sex lives, with many noting that their daily workouts helps increase their sexual confidence by heaps!

With 60% of people stuck in what can only be described as a sexual rut, the survey paints a picture of intimacy that is far from rosy. The good news is that there’s nearly always room for improvement.