How to give a tantric massage for steamy, intimate foreplay

How to give a tantric massage for steamy, intimate foreplay
You can use oils to enhance the tantric massage experience.Casarsa/Getty Images
  • Tantric massage is a form of sensual massage that involves erogenous zones and genitals.
  • It is part of neotantra, a Western practice that derives from Hindu beliefs.
  • The goal of tantric massage is mindfulness - not to have an orgasm.

Tantric massage is a massage technique that involves your full body - including your intimate areas. The goal is to awaken your sexual energy, deepen the intimacy between you and your partner, and increase mindfulness of sexual pleasure and your body.

Here's what you need to know about the benefits of tantric massage and how to give one to your partner.

What is a tantric massage?

Tantric massage is a technique within neotantra, a modern, Western practice that derives from Hindu beliefs.


"Tantric massage is an erotic massage aiming for relaxing, arousal, and connection between two people while focusing on erogenous zones," says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, MD, a professor of sex and relationship at California State University, Fullerton.

Unlike most other massage methods, tantric massage incorporates spiritual elements like mindfulness, eye contact, and breathing techniques.

Tantric massage involves your erogenous zones and genitals, but the goal isn't to have an orgasm. It's possible to have an orgasm during the massage, but the focus is on giving and receiving pleasure from your partner.


How to give a tantric massage

  1. Set up a comfortable space with dimmed lights and relaxing music.
  2. Your partner should take off their clothes and you can decide whether to take yours off as well.
  3. While making steady eye contact, take five synchronized deep breaths together.
  4. Take a natural massage oil like coconut oil and rub it in your hands until it's warm.
  5. With your partner lying on their stomach, start massaging the upper areas of your partner's body including their neck, ears, and back.
  6. Have your partner flip onto their back and massage the whole body, including the chest, stomach, arms and legs.
  7. Next start massaging your partner's inner thighs, moving into the pubic area.
  8. Move through all of your partner's erogenous zones, which can include breasts, vulva, butt, perineum, testicles, and penis.
  9. Communicate with your partner about what feels good. If there's a certain area that feels arousing for your partner, focus your massage there to enhance eroticism, Suwinyattichaiporn says.
  10. If your partner orgasms, keep massaging them for a few minutes while they cool down. If your partner doesn't orgasm, help them slowly calm their sexual energy until they are relaxed.
  11. The whole process can take more than an hour, depending on what you and your partner prefer. "Be patient and communicative. This is meant to be a slow pace and mindful activity, it's not a 'quickie,'" Suwinyattichaiporn says.

The benefits of a tantric massage

Tantric massage offers several benefits for your health and your sex life. Here are a few:

Helps you break out of routines in your sex life: "If couples are feeling sexually stagnant, they should definitely try tantric massage and tantric sex," Suwinyattichaiporn says. When you focus on what feels good rather than just having an orgasm, you may discover new ways to please yourself and your partner.

Can help you connect to your partner: Putting aside time to focus on each other can help you feel closer to your partner. "It involves all the things we want in a sexual encounter: connection, relaxation, arousal, and novelty!" says Suwinyattichaiporn.


Increases sexual mindfulness: Suwinyattichaiporn says. This is because tantric massage prompts you to pay conscious attention to your body sensations, emotions, and sexual pleasure during the massage. Studies show that being more sexually mindful is linked to greater satisfaction with your relationship and your sex life.

Improves your physical and emotional health: A small 2020 study looked at the benefits of partner massage, which includes some of the same techniques as tantric massage, but doesn't involve genital touching. The study found that after couples gave each other 15-minute massages, both the giver and the receiver had lower levels of stress and better mental clarity.

In another small study from 2020, pregnant women received 20-minute massages from their partners once per week for about 10 weeks. At the end of the study, the women had significantly lower levels of depression and anxiety symptoms, compared to their starting levels.


Tantric massage may also offer some of the same health benefits of other massage techniques, including improving circulation, lowering blood pressure, and boosting immune function.

Insider's takeaway

Tantric massage is a practice you can do with your partner to help connect with each other, increase mindfulness, and explore your sexual pleasure.

Tantric massage has many benefits for both your physical and emotional health and can give a boost to your sex life.


Tantric massage works best when you communicate with your partner, take it slowly, and focus more on your experience than on having an orgasm.

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