How to have multiple orgasms: A sex therapist gives 5 techniques for compounded bliss
- You can have multiple orgasms by taking breaks during
sex, practicing kegel exercises, and more.
- Edging, which refers to purposely delaying an
orgasm, may lead to a continuous string of orgasms.
- You can also try tightening your pelvic floor while you masturbate for heightened arousal.
Having multiple orgasms may be easy for some. For others, you may need some work to get there.
Just remember that it's not about the number of orgasms you have per sexual encounter. It's about getting the most pleasure out of your experience. For some, one orgasm is enough, others may not enjoy orgasms at all, let alone multiple ones.
But if you're looking to try something new, having multiple orgasms can be a fun experience. In this article, we discuss the prevalence of multiple orgasms and offer five tips that may help you reach them if that's your goal.
How common is having multiple orgasms
In reply to an online survey, 70% of UK women reported that they sometimes experience multiple orgasms. According to another study, published in 2016 in Sexual Medicine Reviews, 10% of men in their twenties reported having multiple orgasms, and this number decreased with age.
The reason for this may have to do with something called the refractory period. After having an orgasm, everyone goes through a refractory period, in which your body stops being sexually excited and returns to its normal, unaroused state.
For people with penises, this resolution also contains a refractory period in which you physically can't become aroused, even if your genitals are touched. The refractory period is different for each person and can range from a few minutes to a few days.
For those with vulvas and vaginas, most don't have a refractory period in the same way as those with penises. You may feel fatigued after sex and lose interest, but multiple orgasms are more common. That said, everyone can try the following tips to help them achieve multiple orgasms.
1. Take a brief break
You may need to pause in between orgasms, even if you don't have a strict refractory period, says Sarah Berry, a psychosexual and relationship therapist practicing in the UK.
For example, if you're working toward your second or third orgasm of the night and you "find your pleasure rising and can't quite reach an orgasm, take a break for a few seconds or minutes," Berry says.
This brief stop can allow your body to rest and reset but doesn't give enough time for you to stop being aroused entirely. To do this, you can change positions, get a drink of water, switch the person of focus, or stimulate another part of the body.
2. Try edging
Edging is a technique in which you purposefully delay your orgasm, which can make your sensations more intense when you finally do finish. You can do this by:
- Stopping or decreasing stimulation right when you reach the "edge" of your orgasm.
- Waiting until the feeling of wanting to orgasm subsides.
- Then starting to increase stimulation again.
When you orgasm after edging, this may be a good time to try stacking orgasms, a technique in which you keep the stimulation going without stopping. This may result in a continuous string of orgasms, or one prolonged orgasm. You can read more about this technique on sex educator, Betty Dodson's website.
3. Get your kegel exercises in
Kegel exercises work to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. "Our pelvic muscles spasm when we orgasm," Berry says, and strengthening these muscles may help you to have multiple and more intense orgasms.
To practice kegel exercises, imagine you are trying to stop yourself from peeing midstream - the muscles you use for that are your pelvic floor muscles. Doing kegel exercises where you tighten, hold, and release these muscles several times in a row can help strengthen them over time.
For some, kegels might over-tighten the pelvis, so if you experience any pain, reach out to a pelvic pain specialist.
Practicing tightening your pelvic floor muscles while you masturbate can help you train these muscles for multiple orgasms, Berry says. This is because doing kegel exercises increases blood flow to your vulva and vagina, leading to greater arousal.
Masturbation also helps you explore your own body and recognize what you find pleasurable. Knowing how your body likes to experience pleasure can help you communicate about it to your partner, which may help you achieve more orgasms per encounter.
5. Stimulate different areas each time
"There are several different ways women can orgasm," Berry says, and each one involves stimulating a different part of the vulva, vagina, or anus. Types of orgasms include:
- Clitoral: This is the most common type of orgasm for vulva-owning people, Berry says, and usually involves directly or indirectly stimulating the clitoris with a finger, tongue, sex toy, or from positional friction during sex.
- G-spot: Your G-spot exists about an inch into your vagina, against the wall closest to your belly button. Because the G-spot is not very deep in your vagina, it may work better to push on this spot with a finger or toy rather than a penis to trigger an orgasm.
- C-spot: The C-spot is located on your cervix, the small opening that leads from your vagina, into your uterus. Most of the time, your cervix exists a few inches in to the vagina, but in the days before and during your period, it moves closer to your vaginal opening, which may make it easier to reach with a penis or sex toy. During sex, the uterus and cervix move further into the body, needing deeper stimulation. To have a C-spot orgasm, it may also help to have sex in positions that involve deeper penetration.
- Anal: Orgasms from anal stimulation are more common in folks with penises because of their sensitive prostate. However, those with vulvas can also orgasm from either deep anal penetration (A-spot) or even from touching the outside of the anus. This is likely because the pudendal nerve in your anus is connected to the sensations in your clitoris. Anal sex can also stimulate the P-Spot.
- P-spot: The prostate is sometimes referred to as the P-spot. The prostate is a small gland about the size of a walnut, located just below the bladder, and can be accessed a couple of inches inside the rectum. The prostate is extremely sensitive and can lead to intense orgasms when stimulated.
If your goal is to have multiple orgasms, it may also be helpful to try for a different type of orgasm each time. For example, after a clitoral orgasm, your clitoris may be too sensitive for you to get pleasure from touching it. Instead, trying to stimulate your g-spot or c-spot may work better to have another orgasm in a shorter time period.
There are many ways to approach having multiple orgasms and it may take some practice learning what works best for your body.
Whichever multiple orgasm technique you use, make sure to listen to your body and communicate about what you like if you are with a partner.
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