- Ever since I was small, I've liked the feeling of rubbing ribbons.
- It helps calm me down when I'm feeling stressed out.
I was out to dinner with my husband, trying to be discreet about what I was doing under the table. A slight movement of my arm must have given me away, because he looked at me and shook his head.
"You're not, are you?" he said.
I grinned, feeling a bit guilty. I was caught rubbing again, and it was not the first time. Until recently, I thought I was the only adult with this quirky habit — an anomaly in the population. You see, I like to stroke ribbons.
Rubbing ribbons helps me calm down when I'm feeling stressed out
As you may have guessed, it's a self-soothing technique that stems from childhood. When I was a little girl, my mom sewed a ribbon on my teddy bear's ear, and I would stroke it to comfort myself. Most kids outgrow their comfort objects. They eventually ditch the moth-eaten security blankie or throw their beloved teddy out of a car window nonchalantly.
Not me. At the ripe old age of 38, I still love the texture of a ribbon between my thumb and index finger.
If I have some major life event happening, like an impending birth or operation, the ribbon is always packed. Even if it's happy days and we are heading overseas on a family holiday, the ribbon comes along.
If I wake up at night, the ribbon is what I reach for to get me back to sleep. And sometimes, I even sneak it out in public with me, at the risk of appearing a little strange.
I'm not the only adult with a 'comfort object'
I recently decided to see if I was the only person on the planet who had a comfort object in my 30s. To my surprise, a quick Google search revealed online forums with dozens of people talking about adult comfort objects. Some even discussed why they loved the feeling of rubbing material between their thumb and finger, whether it be clothing tags or the remnants of a childhood blankie.
"I'm obsessed with this thread now that I've found my fellow Rubbers," one person wrote. "In my family we call it a 'rubby.' I've had a rubby my whole life, literally! I'm to the point now I don't even care if people see me with it. I have it in hand all the time."
In an article for The Guardian, one woman who was interviewed summed up her attachment to her childhood teddy bear perfectly. "The only way to describe it is 'safety' and 'home,'" she said. I totally get it.
The science behind why certain objects soothe us is still emerging. A small study published in 2020 in the Journal of Integrative Medicine found that weighted blankets reduced anxiety in patients at a psychiatric facility who chose to use them, compared to patients who did not.
And a UK survey found 34% of adults still sleep with a soft toy every night, while 15% admit they can't sleep without theirs. Almost one in 10 (9%) say they'd rather share a bed with their teddy than their own partner. I wouldn't go that far. My husband still takes priority over the ribbon — most of the time.