Michael Phelps was 'scared as hell' to show signs of weakness, until he realized he was drowning. A daily routine changed everything.

He raked in Olympic gold, but Phelps was quietly wrestling with anxiety and suicidal thoughts

For more than a decade, Michael Phelps ruled the pool, holding the all-time record for Olympic medals (28 medals for Team USA, 23 of them gold). But under the surface, he said he didn't recognize himself as a person.

At the time, stigma around mental health forced Phelps, now 37, to submerge his feelings until depression and anxiety began to spill over into suicidal thoughts and substance abuse. Therapy, societal shifts, and a daily routine have helped him turn things around.

"When I was competing, I considered myself a swimmer, not a human being. I was just some kid with a cap and goggles who was pretty good at going up and down the pool," Phelps told Insider in an interview about his partnership with the online-behavioral-health company Talkspace.

"The work that I've done has allowed me to look in the mirror and like who I see, good, bad, and ugly," he said.

While most of us know that taking care of our physical health and fitness is important, Phelps said it's easy to forget to give our mental health the same attention, especially if you're under pressure to perform, on the field or in daily life.

Phelps said acknowledging his mental health at the peak of his career would have felt like a "sign of weakness."

Now, more athletes are opening up about experiences with depression, anxiety, and the pressure of performing at an elite level, from the gymnast Simone Biles prioritizing self-care at the 2021 Olympics to the NBA rising star Tyrell Terry retiring because of anxiety.

"I think the stigma is still there, but the door is open a little bit to allow people to talk about it," Phelps said. "It's saving lives."

While there needs to be more structural support around mental health, we can all start taking better care of ourselves with routines like journaling, getting more sleep, and cutting out bad habits to perform better, whether that's at the Olympics, at a nine-to-five job, or in our personal lives, Phelps said.

Athletes have weight rooms for training — why not for mental health?

Elite athletes stop at nothing to take the best care of their bodies, and we should all think of mental health the same way, Phelps said.

If conditions like depression, anxiety, stress were treated the same way as physical injuries, it could save lives and dramatically improve people's ability to succeed in whatever area of life they choose, he said.

"If you go to a training room or weight room for any college or pro team, they're going to have anything and everything they possibly need. If that's the case, why don't we have another section devoted to mental health?" Phelps said.

Despite being the most decorated Olympian in history, Phelps said that he was "scared as hell" to go to therapy for the first time, but that doing so and developing a mental-health routine allowed him to feel like he could truly be himself.

"I didn't take care of myself fully for 20 years. By starting from the top, prioritizing mental health, doing it on a daily routine has given me the chance to become a better version of myself," Phelps said.

Other athletes who have spoken out about the need for mental-health support in competitive sports include the tennis greats Naomi Osaka and Serena Williams, the NBA player Kevin Love, and the Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman. Raisman previously told Insider she was so burned out from competing that she struggled to wash her hair and has said she didn't trust USA Gymnastics to take care of athletes' mental health.

Simple daily habits like journaling can have a real impact

Phelps said one of his strategies for better mental health is staying consistent with small steps each day.

One key habit is journaling to get his thoughts and emotions out on paper. Previously, he said he struggled with compartmentalizing, or avoiding his feelings, joking that if suppressing emotions was an Olympic sport, he could have "won a handful of gold medals" for it.

His routine has helped cut out bad habits, too — Phelps makes a point of avoiding electronics at night, so he can get enough sleep to keep his mind and body healthy.

Phelps also said he finds activities each day that bring him joy. For him, that's lifting weights in the gym. But whatever you choose, the key is to make time for it every day.

"If you want to start off the new year by prioritizing your mental health, then let's get into a rhythm or routine of good habits," Phelps said. "Focus on what you can control every day."