My best friend is going through with her pandemic wedding. How do I cancel after agreeing to be a bridesmaid?
- They might not understand your decision right away, but it's important to be honest about your reservations and commitment conflicts.
- FaceTime your friends and tell them how going to large events during the pandemic makes you feel uneasy.
- Offer to support them in other ways and remind them it's not personal.
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Our best friends are getting married in two weeks. My husband is the best man, and I'm a bridesmaid in the
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Our hearts are breaking over this, but we feel morally obligated to say we won't attend the wedding.How do we tell our best friends?
- St. LouisDear St. Louis, Disappointing friends is difficult, but betraying your own values may feel even worse in the long run.
Though the bride and groom might not understand your choice right away, being honest with them about how you came to your decision and explaining to them that it's not personal could cushion the blow.
Since it's a planning-related issue, prepare for your besties to be hurt. They may be upset you are prioritizing work over them. Even if you let them down gently, it's good to have realistic expectations before entering a potentially heated discussion.Ideally, you should break the news with enough time for your friends to tell their wedding planner and venue, Landis Bejar, a New York City-based therapist who specializes in counseling brides-to-be, previously told me.
But since you're two weeks out, that might not be possible. Still, Bejar suggests scheduling a FaceTime date with your friends a few weeks before the wedding, and let them know in advance you want to talk about their upcoming nuptials.
During the call, remind your friends they're an important part of your life. Then explain your decision to skip the wedding and be honest about how the event's setup makes you feel from a
Then, see if you can support your friends from afar. Bejar said you could send them a care package, offer to follow-up with vendors, or simply be available for virtual emotional support.There's no way to guarantee a smooth conversation here. All you can do is be honest about your need to prioritize your work and your physical and mental health and hope your friends will understand.
They might not get it right away, but a true
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