What the average penis size is and if partners actually think bigger is better

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What the average penis size is and if partners actually think bigger is better
The average erect penises is 5.2 inches.Crystal Cox/Business Insider
  • The average penis size is about 5.2 inches in length when erect and 3.6 inches while flaccid.
  • It is also about 4.6 inches in girth while erect and 3.7 inches around while flaccid.
  • Larger penises may actually cause your partner pain and won't necessarily correlate with more pleasure.
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There's a common saying that size matters, but bigger may not always be better when it comes to penises.

Although some partners may prefer larger penises, a penis that's too big may not provide extra pleasure and can even cause pain.

Here's what you need to know about the size of the average penis and how much size matters.

The dimensions of the average penis

There are a lot of conflicting studies on the average penis size, says Vanessa Marin, MFT, a licensed sex therapist in private practice. However, a 2014 review combined results from 20 previous studies and found that the average penis size is likely around:

  • 5.2 inches in length when erect
  • 4.6 inches in girth when erect
  • 3.6 inches in length when flaccid
  • 3.7 inches in girth when flaccid

The researchers note, however, that most of the erect measurements were done at home and weren't supervised by researchers for accuracy.

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Do partners care about the size of a penis?

Many men may worry about their penis size because they assume that their partners will prefer larger penises, but this may not always be the case.

Do women care about size?

"Women do care about size, but not nearly as much as men fear!" Marin says. There are several reasons why women might not necessarily want a larger than average penis:

  • "Women want to be able to feel a sense of fullness during intercourse. But the vaginal canal is only about 4 to 6 inches long when a woman is aroused," Marin says. This means that she may feel just as "full" or satisfied with smaller penises.
  • The majority of the nerve endings in the vagina are in the outer third, closest to the vaginal opening, Marin says. So many women won't feel a lot of sensation from deeper stimulation.
  • The cervix, which is the opening to the uterus, sits at the end of your vagina and larger penises may bump into it during sex. "If a man is big enough to hit a woman's cervix, it will typically cause her discomfort or even pain," Marin says.
  • It's also important to remember that the most sensitive part of the vagina and vulva is the clitoris, which is not affected by penis size. "In order to pleasure your woman and bring her to orgasm, it's extremely likely that you'll need to focus on external stimulation, not internal," Marin says.

A 2012 study found that the women most likely to prefer larger penises were women who frequently had vaginal orgasms, as opposed to the more common clitoral orgasms.

Do gay or bisexual men care about penis size?

Gay and bisexual men also face worries about whether their partners prefer a larger penis. "Men of all orientations tend to feel anxiety about their penis size," Marin says.

In fact, a 2014 study found that gay and bisexual men were more likely than straight men to worry about their penis size.

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But in many cases, male partners may not care as much about penis size. This is particularly true for men in the receptive or "bottom" role, where penis size is less relevant to satisfying sex.

A 2010 study found that men who identify as bottoms were more likely to rate their penis size as average or below average, while men in the insertive or "top" role rated their size as average or above average.

Insider's takeaway

Though many men worry about the size of their penis and whether their partners will be satisfied, size is not always important. "It's natural to wish you were bigger, but keep reminding yourself that bigger truly is not better," Marin says.

It's also important to note that though there are advertisements for risky enlargement surgeries, "there is no effective way to increase the size of your penis," Marin says.

The bottom line is that sex can be satisfying no matter what the size of your penis is and you likely think about it more than your sexual partners do. "It's OK to let yourself feel frustrated, but don't let that anxiety destroy your sex life!" Marin says.

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