People are already becoming romantically and sexually involved with AI — here’s the problem with that

Before Joaquin Phoenix smashed his way into mainstream popularity for his jaw-dropping performance as the Joker, the actor was also the star of the movie Her. The plot of Her was as simple as it was unfamiliar: newer operating systems come with AI that is shockingly human-like, to the point where (spoiler alert!) many begin to fall in love with their personalised devices.

The 2013 movie drew many reactions, from some horrified at the possibility of such a romance, to others ridiculing the premise. If you were part of the sceptical latter, we have some terrible news for you: human-AI romance is already becoming a thing.

Meet your new AI soulmate

In the past decade, virtual assistants like Apple’s Siri and Amazon's Alexa have become part of our everyday tech lives. Now, a new breed of AI has emerged, ready to whisper sweet nothings into your digital ear: AI romantic companions. These chatbots — such as Eva AI and Replika — interact with users through text, voice, and even images, tailoring everything from their looks to their personality.

A Conversation article notes how the pandemic's lockdowns and social distancing fueled a surge in loneliness, prompting many to seek companionship from such AI applications. But they aren't just pretty faces (or voices). AI chatbots learn and adapt through conversation, becoming eerily good at anticipating your needs, preferences, and moods. Before you know it, you might find yourself not just talking to an AI, but falling for one.

Research has already shown that these chatbots can offer real comfort, easing loneliness and boosting positive emotions with supportive, non-judgmental interactions. They provide a safe space for open conversations and advice when human options are limited.
What’s surprising is that people report similar levels of enjoyment, sexual arousal, and emotional response whether they believe they’re interacting with a human or a chatbot. In some cases, users even feel a stronger emotional connection to chatbots than to less responsive humans. It seems we’re not just willing to open our hearts to AI; we're also happy to let them in.

As for the elephant in the bedroom, you might be surprised to know that there could be actual benefits to AI sex a well! Experts note that AI-driven sexual interactions could provide a safe, low-risk alternative to traditional romantic and sexual relationships. This could particularly benefit individuals who face challenges in establishing satisfying connections due to illness, bereavement, sexual difficulties, psychological barriers, or mobility impairments.

The dark side of AI love

Her showed that every rose has its thorn, even in the case of highly personalised tech. And this may not be far from the truth either, as experts have begun to worry that romantic chatbots — with their constant availability and seamless interactions — can set up unrealistic expectations for human relationships.

For instance, the fact that they don’t argue, they don’t get tired, and they never need a break, can skew users' views of what real-world relationships should be like, potentially stunting social skills and emotional growth. The customisable nature and constant presence of AI companions can lead to social isolation and emotional dependency, making users more likely to retreat from real-world interactions.
Privacy concerns also loom large. A 2023 Mozilla Foundation analysis of AI chatbots found that many apps share or sell personal data and prevent users from deleting their information.

Do AI chatbots dream of electric sheep?

While AI chatbots may appear convincing enough — ChatGPT has already passed the Turing test — are they conscious? While most experts almost unanimously reject the notion that today’s AI models are self-aware, improvements in AI have the potential to blur the lines to outside observers.
A recent study revealed that many people believe AI like ChatGPT has conscious experiences. Over two-thirds of participants thought AI could have self-awareness or phenomenal consciousness. This belief gap between experts and the public could shape the ethical, legal, and moral landscape of AI.

It is clear that AI companions are here to stay, which will undoubtedly muddy our perspective on human relationships and our understanding of consciousness. As we navigate this brave new world, we must ensure our digital dalliances enrich our lives without overshadowing the real, messy, beautiful complexity of human connections.