How to save your relationship after cheating

When two people make a promise to stand by and love each other eternally, breaking that promise, that trust by one of them can be a very devastating experience for the other. The very foundation of the relationship is shaken to its core. Some people decide to walk away while some want to stay back and understand the reason behind it.


But, the big question here is “Can a relationship be saved after cheating?” The answer is YES.


Both the cheater and the victim at some point in their lives believed and loved each other. Now what happened to that trust and love? Trust and love cannot be broken overnight, it is a slow and gradual process that ultimately takes the form of cheating by either of the partners. Let’s look at some do’s and don’ts that can help you save your relationship after cheating has occurred.


Do’s:

  • There has to be remorse. Having remorse for what has happened and a desire to change is the foundation you lay to save your relationship.
  • Cheating behaviour is essentially a pattern. Break the pattern
  • Make sure that cheating has stopped completely. If the cheater is not willing to answer the realistic questions about whether or not it has stopped, then there is a bigger problem that needs to be addressed.
  • Look around carefully. A study has proved that people that have a best friend who has cheated are 77% more likely to be cheaters themselves. Choose your company wisely.
  • When trust is broken, it takes time to rebuild and you are the one who has to take a lead here. Reassure your partner that you understand what you lost and that this won’t happen again.
  • Find out what is common between the two of you and spend good quality time together.
  • Focus on the good in each other. You cannot start a new journey carrying old baggage.
  • Stop blaming. Blaming only gives rise to negative emotions.
  • Support each other through the thick and thin. Most importantly, remember why you both stayed together and didn't give up.

Don’ts:

  • Once a cheater, always a cheater! Don’t fall into the trap of temporary happiness again.
  • People who look for easy way outs are more likely to cheat. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, do not run away from it.
  • While sleeping over your problems can be a good coping mechanism, sleeping with unresolved issues is not. Never go to sleep with an unresolved issue. It gives you an unhealthy coping mechanism.
  • Never break promises, learn to live by them. When trust is broken again and again, it ultimately becomes impossible to mend.
  • Don’t dwell on the past. Work towards what can make your present and future better.
  • Never punish your partner by making physical distance. Intimacy is a part and right of the relationship and denying that gives rise to negative feelings and an urge to cheat again.
  • Generally the victim falls into the trap of cheating as a coping mechanism and as a tool to punish his/her partner. Remember if you do what hurt you, you’ll end up being like the person you don’t approve of.

Make promises, live by them, focus on the positives, love, laugh, and respect. Life is too short to do anything else!


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