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<ul><li>GenZ daters are reshaping <keyword id="118237" type="General" weightage="90" keywordseo="chivalry" source="Orion">chivalry</keyword> as acts of respect and consideration, finds a QuackQuack study</li><li>Traditional gender roles in online <keyword id="6367193" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="dating" source="Orion">dating</keyword> are evolving, say 43% of GenZs</li><li>Women making the first move is not longer rare, say 23% of men under 28 </li></ul> Must you open the door to a lady, or will she be offended by it? In a world of rapidly evolving dating standards, the largesse is always in doubt when it comes to the right thing to do. According to a study by dating app QuackQuack, people still hold chivalry in high regard. But it’s not confined to male-centric traditions only, and has transcended gender boundaries. The concept of mediaeval knightly code of morals has evolved to denote equality and respect; not just opening doors and pulling out chairs. As per a survey of 18-25 year olds, 45% GenZ daters now regard acts of respect and consideration as chivalry. A considerable percentage of women too (37%) said their expression of chivalry might be different at times. Shared responsibilities in a relationship and going the extra mile for their partner is a part of chivalry, they say. The study also highlights that 43% of GenZ, as opposed to 21% of millennials, think the traditional gender roles in online dating are evolving. The study sampled 15,000 online daters, 18-30, spanning metropolitan and small cities and suburbs, participated in the study. “We have seen a remarkable and consistent change in the gender dynamics. With women confidently taking the initiative and men embracing vulnerability, expressing emotions more openly than the preceding generation of daters,” said Ravi Mittal, founder and CEO of QuackQuack. First move: A disappearing concept? Since time immemorial, custom has had it that men generally ask women out. The study now shows that this too is changing as gender fluidity takes centre stage. The study shows that 23% of men under 28 revealed being approached by women. This shows that GenZs, both men and women, are comfortable taking the lead, enabling a more equal approach to planning and organising romantic engagements. In turn, rejection is also not a woman’s domain now. Men can reject too, said 21% of GenZ daters between 20 and 26. As many as 18% of women revealed getting rejected by their love interest for conflicting values or perspectives. Mard ko dard – Fade away The way men behave in relationships and while dating can be ascribed to pop culture often. The stereotype of ‘men don’t cry’ seems to be finally giving way with the study finding 47% of GenZ daters from Tier 1 and 2 cities that these concepts are being banished in today’s day and age. The study says that GenZ daters are embracing emotional openness and vulnerability, challenging the notion that expressing feelings is a sign of weakness. This shift allows individuals to be authentic and transparent without fear of judgement.

In the digital age, chivalry is both dead and alive

Ben Keenan estimates that over the past year, he's spent somewhere between $1,500 and $2,000 on dating. Despite spending a hefty sum on everything from drinks and food to tickets and Ubers, the 31-year-old Seattle communications consultant and content creator said the payout had yielded no real results: His relationship status is "nonexistent.""A lot of times I'm spending money just to get to know somebody out from behind a screen," he saidLike many younger Americans, Keenan is encountering a harsh reality: Not only is the modern <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-z-dating-declines-all-time-low-inflation-loneliness-friendship-2023-10">dating scene really tough</a>, but putting yourself out there adds up. To be smarter about his romantic spending, Keenan has become more selective with whom he meets — and instead of immediately suggesting pricey drinks, he's proposing lower-cost options like grabbing a coffee or going for a walk.As someone who's also been dating through whatever it is we've been doing romantically since 2020, I've noticed that my dating costs are going through the roof. There are, of course, the basic increases in just about everything, as anyone who's bought groceries or gas knows. In addition, new costs are getting layered on every day as the dating pool becomes tougher to navigate — relationship apps are barren unless you pay for access, and the new crop of exciting <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/speed-dating-better-than-online-dating-apps-2024-3">speed-dating events</a> will cost you (if they don't sell out first).In an age of <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/loneliness-epidemic-decline-in-third-places-friends-parks-community-2023-9">increasing isolation</a>, an intimate relationship can be especially valuable. And, pragmatically, finding a partner can have some economic advantages — after all, things are cheaper when they're divided by two. But the price tag to find the right person is getting higher. Love, in this economy, is increasingly reserved only for those who can afford it.<h2>Bring in the dating coaches!</h2>There's no magical financial formula for a relationship (sadly), but to sketch out the new cost of love, I decided to ask several dating coaches a few questions that could help me develop a relationship road map: How long does it usually take to find out whether you're compatible? How much should a date cost? Who is expected to pick up the tab?The coaches said it usually takes about three months of seeing someone once or twice a week for most people to consider it a relationship. So that's at least 12 dates before getting into a relationship. Not every date is the same — costs and activities will vary by person, location, and what you're drawn to. Amy Nobile Messing, a New York City <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/love-amy-nyc-matchmaker-perfect-dating-profile-2020-2">dating coach</a> with a holistic and technology-based approach and clients aged 25 to 81, recommended a "mini screener date" for a first meetup before escalating to anything more."First dates should not be the traditional go out to dinner for four hours and spend a ton of money," she said. "They really shouldn't."Damona Hoffman, a Los Angeles dating coach, similarly recommended doing drinks because clients could otherwise end up overstaying their welcome and shelling out a whole lot of money."First dates should be something short and sweet," she said.After the first date is when the tabs get more substantial — a longer meal where you can sit across from one another and delve deeper. Daphney Poyser, whose <a target="_blank" href="https://www.fernconnections.com/press">Fern Connections</a> specializes in queer dating, recommended dinner and an activity like mini golf, ax throwing, or cooking classes.As things progress, another big question is who's picking up the bill — a decision that comes with a host of gendered assumptions and changing norms. Messing said that among her heterosexual clients, there's still an expectation that the man is paying for all the dates."If you're in a heterosexual relationship and you believe in chivalry, which, again, 95% of my clients do, then the man is paying, period, end of story," Messing said.But the answer is not as clear-cut for same-sex couples, couples who don't skew toward traditional heterosexual norms, or younger generations."My younger daters, they're like, 'Of course, we're going to split the cost of the date,'" Hoffman said. "That's a huge shift."Poyser tells her clients that everybody should expect to split the cost."If you like someone and they like you, then you should be willing to split the cost," Poyser said. Among Messing's queer clients, the rule of thumb has been that whoever asked the other person out or planned the date should pay — and they naturally trade-off as things progress.So for simplicity's sake, in our road map, let's assume that you're always splitting costs, with the expectation that straight men will pick up the bill more often.<h2>The nitty-gritty</h2>Now that we have a sense of the time, shape of the activities, and share of the bill, we can get a sense of what dating costs look like for a 12-date plan. Of course, these numbers are all approximations — your favorite restaurant or activity might cost more or less. But to get to rough estimates, I tried to stick close to real menu prices and approximate how much costs have risen.Since the coaches' first-date suggestions generally boiled down to drinks, I started the tabulation by looking at the average cost of a cocktail, which was <a target="_blank" href="https://conormclaughlin.net/2019/06/a-semi-scientific-study-of-american-cocktail-prices/">about $12 in 2019 across major US markets</a>. Adjust that for inflation, and it's about $14.50 in 2024 dollars. For alcohol-free drinkers, the average price of a coffee <a target="_blank" href="https://ny.eater.com/2024/5/9/24151420/price-of-coffee-nyc-latte-cold-brew">is about $6</a> in New York City, which is <a target="_blank" href="https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/03/people-in-this-city-spend-the-most-on-coffeeits-not-new-york-or-la.html">comparable</a> with other markets."The cost of everything is more expensive," Hoffman said.For movies, prices vary across the country. The average ticket cost $11.75 in 2022, the research firm EntTelligence estimated; round up for recent inflation, and the average movie ticket costs about $12, plus $27 for a large popcorn, a drink, and candy. The same logic can be applied to museums: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/01/arts/design/museums-raise-admission-fees-guggenheim.html">Ticket prices across the country</a> have ticked up to the $30 range. I chose the American Museum of Natural History as our museum date spot because it is, inarguably, a great place to go on a date. The cost of an adult ticket: $28 for non-NYC residents. I also chose a premium concert experience for our daters since those <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/jennifer-lopez-cancels-tour-slow-ticket-sales-concerts-prices-ticketmaster-2024-6">are less likely to get canceled than smaller shows right now</a>. Pollstar, a live-music industry publication, found that the average ticket price for a tour of the top 100 performing artists was $123.25 in the first quarter of 2024, up from $95.63 in 2020.Numbers got a little fuzzier when I looked at how much it cost to go out to dinner or order in. I chose my favorite date spot — Thai72 — as a menu example, and it tracked fairly closely with MoneyGeek's <a target="_blank" href="https://www.moneygeek.com/living/analysis/cost-of-a-date-in-major-cities/">estimate</a> that a romantic dinner out costs $96. Similarly, I used my favorite pizza spot — Mama's Too — to gauge the cost of a nicer takeout pizza and then added a Trader Joe's Caesar salad and a bottle of Josh rosé.After they have a few dates under their belt, I figured that many daters clustered in too-small urban apartments would want to get some breathing room. After all, there's nothing like a day trip to figure out what longer-term travel with your partner might look like. I looked at the cost of driving from New York City to Hudson, New York, a popular mini-road-trip destination (and, conveniently, a great way to visit Business Insider's economic-data editor, Andy Kiersz, who helped oversee these calculations). For our later dates, I also included a few spicier ideas, like a visit to the board-game café Hex&amp;Co., a pasta-making class, and a cheese tasting at Murray's Cheese, as fancier date activities.With these estimates, it's easy to see how dating adds up: Our hypothetical dater is spending $650 to make it to the 12-date mark.The estimates also don't take into account the subtler costs of dating. That could be as simple as the price of the commute to and from your meetup — which would cost you $5.80 if you took New York City's subway — or having to fill up your gas tank. The dating experts I spoke with also listed services their clients may want to invest in for dating, from hair and makeup to Botox and dating-app subscriptions.Hoffman, for instance, said that beauty norms had shifted: Skincare and different types of fillerl, along with Botox, are increasingly seen as necessary parts of a beauty regimen."All of these beauty enhancements, people aren't really thinking about the cost of them, but many times the reason that they're doing it is for attraction," she said. "I consider that a cost."Given these costs, I decided to incorporate a few of the major categories into the road map. An <a target="_blank" href="https://youprobablyneedahaircut.com/how-much-does-a-haircut-cost/">informal survey</a> of salons across the country pegged the average haircut at $56, so add one of those to the tab for the three-month getting-you-know-you period. In a 2023 survey by the data-analytics firm Inmar Intelligence, one-third of surveyed consumers said they <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/beauty-shoppers-still-spending-big-as-us-consumers-cut-elsewhere-2023-3">spent over $500 on beauty products in the past year</a> — that works out to $125 in beauty-product spending, if we're accounting for around a three-month period. Meanwhile, an informal 2022 report <a target="_blank" href="https://www.styleseat.com/blog/waxing-cost/">found</a> that the average cost of a full body wax was $152, and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/a36462846/botox-cost-guide/">Cosmopolitan reported</a> in January that low-end forehead Botox would cost you $300. Taken together, that could mean up to $500 more in beauty spending alone.Modern dating also comes with a new cost: forking over money for dating apps. In a 2022 Pew <a target="_blank" href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-who-where-and-why-of-online-dating-in-the-u-s/?utm_source=npr_newsletter&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=20240202&amp;utm_term=9250242&amp;utm_campaign=money&amp;utm_id=8562679&amp;orgid=128&amp;utm_att1=#paid-to-use-a-dating-site-or-app">poll</a> of adults who were online dating, 35% said that they'd paid to use one. Messing recommended paying for HingeX — <a target="_blank" href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90849674/hinge-is-rolling-out-its-50-per-month-subscription-on-thursday">$50 a month</a> — and <a target="_blank" href="https://bumble.com/en-us/the-buzz/bumble-premium">Bumble Premium</a>, which runs about <a target="_blank" href="https://mashable.com/review/bumble-premium-review">$40 a month</a>. Hoffman doesn't have a uniform recommendation for dating apps but said people should pay for what's important to them. Similarly, Poyser recommended paying for Hinge preferences."The average dater that only started using dating apps in the last five or 10 years has what I feel like is an unrealistic expectation of what they should get from a free dating-app experience," Hoffman said. She added: "A lot of the apps are breaking out the different levels of service, different features that you can pay for, and it's kind of like streaming television. You just pay for the ones that you are going to use."You could also choose to employ a dating coach. Messing's services run $25,000 for a four-month program. Hoffman's costs range from $9 into the five figures; she said her most popular program was group coaching, which costs $2,500. Poyser said that she charged $200 for her initial one-hour session and then $150 for bundled sessions afterward.After adding up all the direct and implicit costs of dating, the price of finding that special someone rang in at about $1,000 for around 12 dates. Adjusting for inflation, that would've come out to about $800 in 2019 — without accounting for the loneliness and geographical shifts the pandemic caused, where people are willing to spend more to find friends. Notably, the $50 paid version of Hinge that our coaches recommended rolled <a target="_blank" href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90849674/hinge-is-rolling-out-its-50-per-month-subscription-on-thursday">out in 2023</a>, and <a target="_blank" href="https://fortune.com/2023/09/22/tinder-500-a-month-subscription/">pricier app</a> <a target="_blank" href="https://www.platformer.news/grindr-ai-boyfriend-wingman-monetization-paid-taps/">offerings</a> are a more recent invention all around.And that's just the cost to get into a relationship. Even deeper down the romantic path, couples face <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/average-wedding-cost-in-biggest-metro-areas-of-us-2023-2">the soaring cost of weddings</a> — not to mention the <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/millennial-gen-z-parents-struggle-lonely-childcare-costs-money-friends-2023-11">rising price of being a parent</a>.<h2>What does that mean for all of us?</h2>The daters out there might not be too surprised to learn that getting into a relationship is expensive — though even I was taken aback by just how much I'd been sinking into finding a partner.But the rising costs of dating aren't just an issue for the lonely hearts of America, they also point to a growing problem for everyone in the US: The things that bring us joy, happiness, or meaning are all getting more expensive. Dinner out with friends is <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/food-prices-cheapest-option-groceries-restaurants-fast-food-2023-12">more expensive</a>. Going on vacation is <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/young-people-booking-vacations-despite-finances-debt-summer-economy-travel-2024-6">getting pricier</a>. Owning a pet <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/protect-finances-pets-likely-recession-2022-11">will cost you more</a>.Even those who have moved beyond the cycle of dating and into building a family are facing these price pressures. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.brookings.edu/articles/middle-class-marriage-is-declining-and-likely-deepening-inequality/">Research</a> <a target="_blank" href="https://pubs.aeaweb.org/doi/pdfplus/10.1257/jep.30.2.79">has found</a> that <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/american-marriage-family-structure-kids-over-2023-9">marriage is becoming increasingly reserved</a> for the wealthy and more educated. Some people are happily opting not to have children, while others are finding themselves pushed into a child-free existence because they can't afford to have kids. But even with the high up-front cost of dating, getting into a long-term relationship might pay off in the long run. Solo Americans often come up against what's known as the "singles tax": They're <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/rent-higher-singles-tax-living-alone-new-york-san-francisco-2024-2">paying thousands more than couples to live alone</a> and need to make nearly (if not more than) six figures to <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/single-family-city-living-costs-income-nyc-la-inflation-rates-2024-3">live comfortably</a>.Keenan, the Seattle dater still looking for love, is keenly aware of the singles tax."Bills are made for a household," he told me. "I'm paying the same amount on my sewer and my garbage and my gas as I would if I had four people living in my apartment as I do with one person living in my apartment. There's nothing that is intended to be comfortable for one person."As things get more expensive, the singles tax gets worse — creating an ever-increasing price for singledom."Just because I haven't found my person, suddenly society's expecting me to pay more because I'm living alone," Keenan said.But Keenan's still out there. For about six to eight months, he tried to just meet people in person — which, as he noted, is often cheaper. Bumping into somebody at a bar means they probably already have a drink, and it's less formal than a sit-down dinner.Keenan's status, though, might be familiar to fellow beleaguered daters out there: He's back on the apps. It's a fate we all may have to resign ourselves to in the era of modern dating. It looks like those $12 first-date cocktails aren't going anywhere anytime soon (and they soon may be $20 cocktails). The only question is what new paywall might emerge in pursuit of a partner.<a target="_blank" rel="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/author/juliana-kaplan">Juliana Kaplan</a> is a senior labor and inequality reporter on Insider's economy team.

The heartbreaking cost of modern dating

<ul class="summary-list"><li>A <keyword id="15710" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="60" keywordseo="texas">Texas</keyword> high school removed an assignment that had female students cater to their male classmates.</li><li>The "ladies" were directed to follow a list of rules to get signatures in order to be "deemed worthy."</li><li>Male students were also given a list of tasks but were directed to be courteous, not subservient.</li></ul>A Texas high school removed an assignment on "<keyword id="118237" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="chivalry">chivalry</keyword>" that had female students cater to men like in medieval times.Dallas Morning <keyword id="6355005" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="news">News</keyword> reporter <a href="https://twitter.com/BrandiDAddison/status/1367123316495052809">Brandi Addison Davis tweeted a photo of the assignment</a> given to female students so they could demonstrate to the school how the code of chivalry and standards set in the medieval concept carries over into modern-day life.The "ladies" were directed to follow the listed rules to get signatures in order to be "deemed worthy." Examples of the rules are "dressing in a feminine manner to please the men," never criticizing a man, lowering their heads, and curtsying for men.Male students were given a similar assignment but the rules were less subservient, including dressing in suits and ties, helping ladies to their seats, and rising when a lady walks into the room.Superintendent of Shallowater Schools Dr. Anita Herbert said in a statement to Insider that the assignment had been reviewed and "does not reflect our district and community values." The matter has been addressed with the teacher, and the assignment was removed, Herbert said.

A Texas high school removed an assignment on chivalry where female students were directed to cater to men like in medieval times

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Students at a high <keyword id="6356508" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="school">school</keyword> in Shallowater, <keyword id="15710" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="60" keywordseo="texas">Texas</keyword>, were recently given an assignment about chivalry.</li><li>The assignment asked girls to "obey" and "follow" men and dress to "please" them.</li><li>The school's superintendent <a href="https://www.today.com/parents/texas-school-district-s-chivalry-homework-assignment-goes-viral-t210811">told TODAY Parents</a> the assignment has been removed from the syllabus.</li></ul>Girls at a high school in Texas were told to dress to "please the men" as part of a homework assignment about chivalry.The Shallowater Independent School District in Lubbock County, Texas, faced criticism Wednesday after Dallas-based journalist Brandi D. Addison Davis <a href="https://twitter.com/BrandiDAddison/status/1367123316495052809">shared a photo of the assignment on Twitter</a>.The assignment is from a Shallowater High School English class in which girls were asked to follow the rules of chivalry from <keyword id="360382" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="Medieval">medieval</keyword> times, <a href="https://www.today.com/parents/texas-school-district-s-chivalry-homework-assignment-goes-viral-t210811">according to TODAY Parents</a>.The homework asked students to "demonstrate to the school how the code of chivalry and standards set in the medieval concept of courtly love carries into the modern day."The assignment ordered female students to "address all men respectfully by title, with a lowered head and curtsy." Students were also told to "cook (preferably not buy) something for the gentlemen in their class. Sweet baked goods are preferable" and asked female students not to "show intellectual superiority if it would offend the men around them" outside of class.It also asked the female students not to "complain or whine" or initiate conversations with men, and asked them to clean up after - and obey - men. Another order said the girls should walk "behind men daintily as if their feet were bound."By each order, there was a space for an "adult witness" signature so students could earn points for following the rules."Fathers and other adult males may insist on following the rules into the evening and may report to the judges ... in these matters," the assignment stated.Boys in the class also had an assignment and were told to "have manners towards the ladies and treat them politely in some situations," according to a screenshot shared by Addison.The assignment asked boys to "dress appropriately in jackets and ties or suits," "assist ladies to seat themselves," call women "milady," speak "genteelly" and avoid profanity.The homework was criticized after it was first circulated online in a Facebook post, <a href="https://www.everythinglubbock.com/news/local-news/chivalry-homework-assignments-gains-negative-attention-online/">according to EverythingLubbock.com</a>.The Shallowater Independent School District did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment, but TODAY Parents reported that the homework was removed from the class syllabus and administrators had spoken with the teacher who assigned it."This assignment has been reviewed, and despite its historical context, it does not reflect our district and community values," district superintendent Anita Hebert told TODAY Parents.

Girls at a Texas high school were told to dress to 'please the men' for a homework assignment about chivalry

Oli Scarff/Getty ImagesSome of these rules were weirdly specific.People say "chivalry is dead" like that's a terrible thing.In the popular imagination, chivalry seems to harken back to some mythical era when armored knights rode about the land going on quests, saving maidens, and fighting evildoers.But chivalry is really a word "that came to denote the code and culture of a martial estate which regarded war as its hereditary profession," Maurice Keen writes in "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Chivalry-Yale-Nota-Bene-Maurice/dp/0300107676">Chivalry</a>."He argues that medieval chivalry had a major part in molding "noble values," and, as a result, has had an impact felt long after troubadours and jousting tournaments fell out of fashion. The romantic notion of the daring, pure-hearted knight errant lingers on, even today.It's difficult to speak broadly about the medieval era in Europe, given that it encompasses several centuries and an entire continent. Generally speaking, however, in many cases, knights and medieval warriors served as a local lord's private military. That meant that sometimes, regional conflicts set a group of armed toughs tearing through the countryside and doing whatever the heck they wanted.Codes of chivalry didn't take hold in vacuum. There was no uniform "code of chivalry," and those codes that existed were often far more religious in nature than our modern concept of "hold the door for ladies." They also cropped up in part to keep knights and warriors from acting on their worst impulses and attacking or extorting weaker individuals.Starting in the late 900s and lasting till the thirteenth century, a movement known as the Peace and Truce of God rose in Europe. Basically, the Church imposed religious sanctions in order to halt the nobility from fighting among themselves at certain times and committing violence against local noncombatants. You can think of these as rules for knighthood.One 1023 oath, suggested by Bishop Warin of Beauvais for King Robert the Pious and his knights, gives us a good sense of some of the unexpected rules warriors might be asked to adopt, in response to their often violent behavior. It includes some rather unusual injunctions and "illustrates the kind of oath that parties were expected to swear after having been caught breaking the peace," according to Daniel Lord Smail and Kelly Gibson, who edited the sourcebook "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Vengeance-Medieval-Europe-Readings-Civilizations/dp/1442601264">Vengeance in Medieval Europe.</a>" A main idea behind the movement was to use spiritual sanctions give people a break from all the conflict and fighting that plagued certain areas at some points during the Middle Ages.With that in mind, here are some of Bishop Warin of Beauvais' proposed rules for knights, which indicate some truly bad and largely unchivalrous behavior on the part of medieval warriors:

7 rules of medieval knighthood that will change the way you look at chivalry

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Pamela Anderson told Variety she once walked in on Jack Nicholson having a threesome.</li><li>She described Hollywood at the height of her popularity as "complete freedom."</li></ul>In a new <a href="https://variety.com/2023/tv/features/pamela-anderson-interview-abuse-boyfriends-pam-and-tommy-backlash-1235501556/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">excerpt of her upcoming memoir published by Variety</a>, Pamela Anderson recalled watching Jack Nicholson have a threesome one night at the Playboy Manson. She said she had wandered into a bathroom to apply lip gloss and soon realized she'd intruded <a href="https://www.insider.com/trivia-about-the-shining-2020-10">on "The Shining" actor </a>being intimate with two "beautiful women." "They were all giggling and kissing up against the wall, sliding all over each other. I walked by to use the mirror, bending over the sink to fix my lip gloss," Anderson wrote. "Trying not to look, but I couldn't help myself and caught his eye in the reflection. I guess that got him to the finish line, because he made a funny noise, smiled and said, 'Thanks, dear.'"<div type="image" title="Pamela Anderson standing on a beach" height="2160" width="2880" msid="97382148" hostid="261" sizebytes="82578"></div>Reflecting on the moment with Variety reporter Tatiana Siegel, she described that era in Hollywood as a time of "complete freedom." "It was full of artists, philanthropists, intellectuals, chivalry, beautiful women. It was really an experience," she added. Anderson has been critical of "third-wave feminism" in recent years. In a 2018 <a href="https://twitter.com/60Mins/status/1059028167527084032?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1059028167527084032%7Ctwgr%5Eaf50b10107e39ef651a167933458c1e03bd3defb%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&amp;ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2018%2F11%2F05%2Fentertainment%2Fpamela-anderson-me-too%2Findex.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"60 Minutes Australia" interview</a>, she said that while she considered herself a feminist, modern-day feminism "paralyzes men." She also called the <a href="https://www.insider.com/me-too-hashtag-sexual-harassment-assault-2017-11">#MeToo movement</a> "a bit too much." But being critical of modern-day feminist beliefs doesn't mean Anderson hasn't felt exploited in the past, both by her sex tape scandal with her then-husband Tommy Lee and also by the <a href="https://www.insider.com/pam-and-tommy-characters-cast-real-life-comparison-photos-2022-1">2022 Hulu series "Pam &amp; Tommy,"</a> which brought the scandal back into the spotlight again by telling the story of the distribution of the tape. <div type="image" title="pamela anderson tommy lee" height="2250" width="3000" msid="97382150" hostid="261" sizebytes="531644"></div>Anderson has been outspoken in the press about refusing to watch the series. But she told Variety of the actor who played her in the series, "I've got nothing against Lily James.""I think that she's a beautiful girl, and she was just doing the job. But the idea of the whole thing happening was just really crushing for me," she added. She also noted that it must have been "hard" for James to play her because she didn't "have the whole picture." Anderson added that she asked Netflix to invite James to the premiere of her documentary, "Pamela, A Love Story," which, like her memoir, will be released on January 31.

Pamela Anderson says she once watched Jack Nicholson have a threesome at the Playboy mansion

Golden ringlets brush against her brow as she scans the crowd. She spots him, her champion in steel gray, his eyes searching for hers. Before she can utter anything, he envelops her, his muscular arms secure around her waist as they rock side to side. "I've never seen anything like that in my life," she breathes into his ear. Her eyes are peacefully shut, as if he and she are swaying in their living room. He stamps a kiss on her scarlet lips, then her forehead, her nose, her rosy cheeks — any landing suitable for him. "<a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/karmakelce/status/1752176855816229006">You're so freakin' gorgeous</a>," he says as he pulls away to gaze at her.Or wait, no — maybe he says, "That was crazy, wasn't it?" No, no, he definitely whispers, "I love you. So much it's not even funny."These details are based on the many fan accounts attempting (with mixed success) to confirm exactly what happened when <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-kiss-pda-chiefs-nfl-victory-superbowl-2024-1">Taylor Swift embraced Travis Kelce</a> after the Kansas City Chiefs qualified for the Super Bowl. Whether it's a <a target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@travis_tayl0r/video/7329415998287695135">lip-reading of the couple's whispers</a> or a movielike montage of <a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/graynovember13/status/1752857223640801385">tender moments</a>, every second of the few minutes Swift and Kelce spent together on the field has been analyzed — and romanticized. If you feel like we, as a society, have eyes only for Taylor and Travis right now, you're not alone. But this love story is part of a much bigger trend. There's a collective thirst for pure, uncomplicated, vulnerable love.For one, rom-coms are coming back. In recent weeks, the modern-day "Much Ado About Nothing" adaptation "Anyone but You" was <a target="_blank" href="https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2024/01/anyone-but-you-gen-z-success/677222/">transformed from a box-office flop to a resounding hit</a>, seemingly thanks to TikTok; <a target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@guinevereedits/video/7319514717154774304">one clip from the movie</a> has racked up 15 million views and counting. In 2023, Amazon found success with <a target="_blank" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/10/movies/red-white-royal-blue-review.html">the film adaptation of "Red, White &amp; Royal Blue,"</a> based on a novel about the son of the US president falling in love with the "spare" prince of England. And when the "Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe <a target="_blank" href="https://ew.com/daniel-radcliffe-wants-to-make-a-rom-com-with-quinta-brunson-8426582">recently joked about shooting a rom-com</a> with Quinta Brunson of "Abbott Elementary," people on the internet got to <a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/loveinextremes/status/1747344738619961738">casting them in their dream book adaptations</a>.<div type="image" title="Sydney Sweeney at the Sydney, Australia premiere of &quot;Anyone But You.&quot;" height="683" width="1024" msid="107559560" hostid="261"></div>The publishing world is experiencing the same phenomenon. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/rise-of-sarah-j-maas-crescent-city-author-2024-2">Fantasy-romance (or "romantasy") books</a> such as "A Court of Thorns and Roses" and "Fourth Wing" dominate both <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/booktok-tropes-authors-pressure-tiktok-books-romance-2023-5">BookTok</a> and Amazon bestseller lists. They focus on passionate love stories and are known for spicy sex scenes against the backdrops of faerie cities or dragon-riding colleges.Love is so lucrative that <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/i-went-to-the-ripped-bodice-romance-only-bookstore-nyc-2023-8">romance-only bookstores</a> have opened in cities like New York and Los Angeles, stacked with enemies-to-lovers cult favorites and corset-ripping historical fiction.But Swift and Kelce's relationship seems to dominate all other mainstream love stories right now, particularly because it's unscripted. While romance movies and books evolve and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.vulture.com/article/fanfic-romance-reylo-publishing-trend.html">draw inspiration from unlikely sources</a>, even the dreamiest, most outlandish plotlines don't involve two star-crossed superstars getting together — and actually having a good time."This is an unambiguously happy couple that people can cling to as kind of cultural comfort food," Brian Donovan, a professor at the University of Kansas who teaches a class called <a target="_blank" href="https://fox4kc.com/news/ku-professor-teaching-class-all-about-taylor-swift/">The Sociology of Taylor Swift</a>, told Business Insider.Donovan believes the resurgence of fluffy, gooey love stories isn't coincidental. "I think a lot of the cultural forces that explain the recent popularity of romance novels can help explain why people are so enthusiastic about Taylor and Travis," he said.It speaks to people's longing for love — not just in their dating lives, but as a way to feel more optimistic about the world.<h2>Uncertain times call for comfort</h2>While TikTok may be full of <a target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@filmsgilmore2/video/7314809526136507654">"The Notebook" compilations</a> and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@allthingsacotar/video/7249424357661953326">romance-novel fan casts</a>, the world outside smartphones feels particularly precarious.<div type="image" title="Travis Kelce kissing Taylor Swift after the Chiefs qualified for the Super Bowl." height="683" width="1024" msid="107559563" hostid="261"></div>"A lot of the world right now is in chaos," Donovan said. "We're <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/weekends-feel-different-post-pandemic-isolation-loneliness-economy-tiktokers-2024-1">coming out of a pandemic</a>. There are <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/israel-gaza-hamas-war-benefit-putin-russia-ukraine-invasion-2023-11">two major wars</a> going on. There's <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-z-gender-gap-young-men-women-dont-agree-politics-2024-1">deepening political polarization</a> and violence."The desire for romance, comedy, and overall lightness in entertainment can be linked to times of crisis and strife. Donovan pointed out that <a target="_blank" href="https://time.com/5805777/coronavirus-comforting-movies-great-depression/">many movies made during the Great Depression</a> were romantic in nature, offering a sense of escape and hope for the future, while the <a target="_blank" href="https://www.vulture.com/2018/08/how-the-2008-crash-shaped-the-marvel-cinematic-universe.html">2008 recession brought on the trend of straightforward superhero movies</a>.Fast-forward to the pandemic: People turned to comforting sitcoms like "Friends" and childhood hobbies like tie-dyeing at the height of sheltering in place. It's human nature to <a target="_blank" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/28/smarter-living/coronavirus-nostalgia.html">crave comfort, such as nostalgia, in difficult times</a>. Rooting for romance can be another way to cope with uncertainty.<h2>This love story comes at the height of dating-app fatigue</h2>Another explanation for the #Traylor enthusiasm is that Swift's <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-relationship-timeline-photos-2023-10">new relationship with Kelce</a> may be inspiring at a time when people are frankly losing hope about finding an incredible partner.<a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/taylor-swift-ex-boyfriends-timeline-2017-11">Swift's at times tumultuous dating experiences</a> are part of her colossal appeal as an artist. "Her songs about her bad prior relationships resonate with people, and they feel they've gone through similar things," Isabelle Morley, a licensed clinical psychologist, told Business Insider.One doesn't have to go through an "I Knew You Were Trouble"-level breakup to feel disillusioned by dating culture, particularly when it comes to <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/dating-apps-deleted-hinge-raya-tinder-bumble-oversaturated-bad-matches-2024-1">dating-app fatigue</a>. Morley said the cycle of looking for "<a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/the-ick-love-island-social-media-dating-men-tiktok-twitter-2022-7">icks</a>" or red flags in potential dates can lead to cynicism and insecurity."People feel like they're convincing somebody that they're a worthy enough match to be considered, that they have enough of whatever qualities and few enough 'icks' that somebody should settle for them," Morley said. "Nobody wants to feel like that in their romantic relationship."<div type="image" title="Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce going on a date." height="847" width="1024" msid="107559566" hostid="261"></div>Just like in a romance movie, the hero must go through obstacles before they reach their happy ending. Seeing Swift leave her longest relationship only to be pined for by a handsome, charismatic top athlete feels hopeful."Taylor and Travis are a kind of aspirational couple that people can look to and think 'someday, this might happen to me,'" Donovan said.<h2>Love stories that blend chivalry and feminism are on trend</h2>Morley said Swift and Kelce's love story is also the right mix of old-school and progressive. Kelce admired Swift from afar and asked her out with a beaded bracelet rather than a DM. But he also pursued her after she reached <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/taylor-swift-eras-tour-box-office-records-beyonce-barbie-oppenheimer-2023-10">a career high</a>."Along with that is in this really traditional trope, she is a very strong, confident, powerful woman, too," Morley said. "And to have a man not be intimidated by that or try to take that from her is also a part of the story that people are loving."Similarly, readers are expecting more from their beach reads than a guy-gets-the-girl plotline. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/financial-reporting/article/89622-lgbtq-fiction-sales-surge-in-the-u-s.html">LGBTQ+ romance fiction sales have been surging for years</a>, and best-selling fantasy-romance books like "A Court of Thorns and Roses" feature <a target="_blank" href="https://www.vulture.com/article/sarah-j-maas-acotar-crescent-city-new-book.html">self-sufficient heroines</a> who are loved for their bravery and uniqueness.How Swift and Kelce appear in public also feels more grounded and relatable than the usual elitist celebrity fare or out-of-reach fantasy. "So far, we haven't seen this couple going to fancy charity events where plates are $5,000 a pop," Morley said. "We've seen someone cheering for her boyfriend at a football game, and a man cheering for his girlfriend at a concert."<h2>We yearn for cultural glue</h2><div type="image" title="A fan holding up a &quot;Swelce&quot; sign at a football game." height="683" width="1024" msid="107559569" hostid="261"></div>People looking to criticize the couple have plenty of material. Swift and Kelce are both rich, white, and straight. Kelce's on a football team with a controversial name. And TikTokers might argue that Kelce's affection toward Swift amounts to "<a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/therapy-speak-language-terms-retire-2024-2023-12">love bombing</a>." But most of the focus has been on their happiness. Their love seems to trump scrutiny. Complaints about Swift's airtime at games have been <a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/youreinIcve/status/1752403030027157803">widely mocked</a>, as have far-right theories that the couple is <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-will-not-win-a-war-against-the-swifties-2024-1">a psyop for President Joe Biden</a>.Since Swift began attending Chiefs games, <a target="_blank" href="https://finance.yahoo.com/news/taylor-swift-helped-boost-nfl-ratings-but-her-power-extends-far-beyond-the-league-180303062.html">NFL viewership has gone up</a>; the <a target="_blank" href="https://www.cbsnews.com/baltimore/news/taylor-swift-or-good-football-ravens-chiefs-was-most-watched-afc-championship-game-ever/">AFC Championship</a> in January was the most watched ever. All over social media, <a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/fucklinelliot/status/1751709737752691038">dads are watching games with their daughters</a> and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@jessmarpl/video/7329383998072016174">girlfriends are cheekily enjoying football</a> with their partners now that Swift is in the bleachers. As the Super Bowl approaches, some Swifties are decking out their <a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/BrettKollmann/status/1753954124750606389">game-day snack stations with giant friendship bracelets</a>, marking the event as a fusion of two major cultural moments.For years critics have described a <a target="_blank" href="https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/17/21024439/monoculture-algorithm-netflix-spotify">loss of monoculture</a> and a political divide between popular TV shows' viewership ("Yellowstone," for example, is seen as catering to conservatives, while "Succession" is for liberals). The return of romance, be it through a superstar couple, blockbuster rom-coms, or best-selling romantasy novels, can be a unifying force.Swift and Kelce are providing a "cultural glue," Donovan said. "This sort of shared excitement about them cuts across different demographic positions that would normally divide us."He believes that whether we're replaying the couple's kisses or slamming back lush romance novels, it's "unabashedly a good thing that we are experiencing collective joy" — however long this honeymoon period lasts.

Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce, and the return of the love story

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image">Kurt Hutton / Stringer / Getty ImagesIs chivalry really dead?</div></div></div>People love to complain about <a href="https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-basic-manners-that-people-lack-nowadays" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the death of manners</a>.When we talk about modern manners, we seem to always wax nostalgic about how folks were more polite "back in the day." It's unclear where that means things were better in the 1870s, the 1950s, or just the <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">era before smart phones.</a> Either way, from what you read about <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/millennials-make-great-employees-2017-9" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the kids these days</a>, it seems the good times are long behind us.The problem is, all of that is most likely bunk.<a href="https://digest.bps.org.uk/2016/06/08/your-sense-that-rudeness-is-on-the-increase-is-probably-just-another-self-serving-bias/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The British Psychological Society released an report in 2016</a> indicating that people might just perceive more rudeness from strangers nowadays - because we're kind of full of ourselves.What we're truly discussing is the decline of formality, which can't necessarily be conflated with good manners - or basic human decency. People have always been nice and rude, and just about everything in between. Manners simply change with time and context.Here are some old-fashioned manners that have fallen by the wayside:

5 things that used to be basic manners - but people no longer do

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"></div></div></div>Is chivalry dead?Well, it's been deceased for a while, in the sense that we as a society no longer require a code to dissuade knights from harassing peasants (for the most part).But what about good, old-fashioned manners?The thing is, etiquette isn't etched in stone. Social mores change over time. So some manners that would've been acceptable a few decades ago might make you look out-of-touch in a contemporary setting.To find out which manners we can drop without appearing rude, Business Insider spoke with business communications expert, speaker, and "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Communication-Clinic-Proven-Business-Mistakes/dp/1259644847">The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes</a>" author Barbara Pachter.She says that the majority of outdated customs stem from one thing: gender."Many of the ways that men and women interact in today's business world are different, as gender has been put aside in favor of professional standing or whether one is the host or visitor," Pachter says.Pachter says that people sometimes behave differently in their personal life. That's up to you, but in a business environment, it's probably time to modernize your etiquette outlook.Basically, be courteous to everyone, and consider letting go of some of these old-fashioned manners in your professional life:

8 old-fashioned manners you can comfortably leave behind

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image">REUTERS/Thomas PeterA worker inflates a model of a Russian T-72B tank standing next to an inflatable dummy of a SU-27 fighter jet at the compound of the RusBal balloon manufacturer outside Moscow, April 8, 2009.</div></div></div>The Russian Ministry of <keyword id="6354810" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="100" keywordseo="Defense">Defense</keyword> has started deploying an old kind of military deception: inflatable weaponry.The Russian government has a growing supply of inflatable military gear, including tanks, jets, and missile batteries, provided by hot-air balloon company RusBal, as <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">detailed</a> by a report by The New York Times.A <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">demonstration</a> in a field near Moscow illustrated the ingenuity behind the idea.The inflatables deploy quickly and break down just as fast. They transport relatively easily, providing targets that may not only drawing the enemy's fire but also affecting their decision-making process, burdening a rival's leadership with the task of verifying targets."If you study the major battles of history, you see that trickery wins every time," Aleksei A. Komarov, RusBal's director of military sales, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">told The Times</a>. "Nobody ever wins honestly."Inflatable weaponry has a history on Europe's battlefields. Prior to the Allied invasion of Europe in 1944, Gen. George S. Patton was <a href="http://www.americainwwii.com/articles/pattons-ghost-army/" target="_blank">placed in charge</a> of the First US Army Group (FUSAG) - a phantom force housed in cities of empty tents and deployed in vehicles made of wood, fabric, or inflatable rubber.After Allied forces had a foothold in France, the "Ghost Army," as it came to be called, continued to serve a purpose, as it was <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/ghost-army-that-the-us-used-against-hitler-2015-12" target="_blank">responsible for more than 20 illusions</a> that befuddled German military leadership and disguised actual Allied troop movements in France, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Germany.<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0UOG9V5nWI">Plate of Peas Production/YouTube</a></div></div></div>Moscow's modern-day iteration of the inflatable army fits with a distinctly Russian style of subterfuge: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">Maskirovka</a>, a Russian doctrine that mixes strategic and tactical deception with the aim of distorting an enemy's conception of reality, bogging down decision-makers at every level with misinformation and confusion.Maskirovka is a longstanding practice of Russian planners. During the Cold War, maps created for the Russian public <a href="https://www.wired.com/2015/07/secret-cold-war-maps/" target="_blank">were filled</a> with tiny inaccuracies that would make them useless should they fall into the hands of rival military planners. The cartographer who came up with the ruse <a href="https://www.wired.com/2015/07/secret-cold-war-maps/" target="_blank">was given</a> the State Prize by Josef Stalin.<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image">REUTERS/Thomas PeterWorkers inflate a model of a Russian S-300 long-range surface-to-air-missile system at the compound of the RusBal balloon manufacturer outside Moscow, April 8, 2009.</div></div></div>A more recent version of maskirovka was <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">displayed</a> in Ukraine in 2014, when masked or otherwise disguised soldiers showed up in Crimea, and later by other soldiers purportedly "<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">vacationing</a>" in eastern Ukraine.According to The Times, Russian military leaders were <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">dubious</a> about the inflatable hardware at first, but they appear to have been won over."There are no gentlemen's agreements in war," Maria Oparina, the director of RusBal and daughter of the founder, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">told</a> The Times. "There's no chivalry anymore. Nobody wears a red uniform. Nobody stands up to get shot at. It's either you or me, and whoever has the best trick wins."<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/world/europe/russia-decoy-weapon.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">Read the full New York Times story here &gt;&gt;</a> <div class="margin-top"> <h3>NOW WATCH: <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/vladimir-putin-kgb-russia-2016-9">How a struggling Soviet spy became the most powerful man in Russia</a></h3> <div> <div> <div class="ooyala-video-player" data-video-autoplay="false" data-video-id="5wNGQ2eDptI8-kBU-EEmCp4_D0qYcjuJ" data-player-variable="ooyalapopvideo" id="ooyalaplayer_popvideo" style="width:1280px;height:720px"></div> </div> </div> </div>

'Trickery wins every time': Russia is using an old kind of military deception

How often do you receive real emails that stand out… that compel you to compose a carefully crafted response? 
 
Real emails are those where the sender carefully selects words, keeping in mind the recipient’s likes and dislikes, while embedding a <keyword id="30450" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="80" keywordseo="Touch">touch</keyword> of their own personality. Remember the handwritten letters that we used before emails took over.
 <keyword id="29411" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="80" keywordseo="email">Email</keyword>s weren’t like this always. With the evolution of internet spam, we developed resilience to email spam and somehow lost that ability to perceive and write emails with a human touch. Tired of automated email blasts and a congested <keyword id="132835" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="80" keywordseo="Inbox">inbox</keyword>, we became more mechanical and started writing like machines.

	It is a sad story. 
	 
	We mostly receive emails that are devoid of any human or emotional trace. As such we only feel an underwhelming joy when we receive a new email from a long lost friend. So how do we take that back?

	There is a different side to email writing as well, which is as beautiful as the traditional letter writing. All we need to do is take few cues from the history of writing letters!

	A message that sticks

	Personalize your emails with precious little details in the form of real images, quotes and memoirs. Emails like that tend to hang around longer in the recipient’s inbox and are most probably saved to be read later as well, just like old-school handwritten letters.

	It makes no difference if the email is written formally or informally, all that really matters is a real person’s touch.

	Give people what they expect. Whether it contains a sales pitch or an invite to a certain meeting, just be clear and precise about the focal message in an email. Nobody likes a vague message, but honesty is always appreciated.

	Also, avoid writing invites like these <a href="http://www.opposingviews.com/i/social/parents-write-shockingly-demanding-1st-birthday-invite-toddler-photos">over-anxious parents</a>.

	Make it a bit funky!

	No, I didn’t mean you should switch back to typewriters. But imagine a simple thing that’ll bring back the nostalgia of typewritten letters. There are many web and mobile apps that give typewriter effects to the written text of an email.

	Play with fonts and graphics in your email to make them extra special. Just a little attention is all that is needed.

	Keep it natural

	Marketers must pay special attention to this. Email blasts are a practical idea of sharing information, but when its between a person or a group of people --- please don’t use those email marketing pointers.

	Don’t use automated email templates unless or until they are necessary. Keep the message tone spontaneous, but avoid less robotic greetings and use real human expressions that express your personality.

	Letters were the epitome of personal touch being used to mould relationships. From sixteenth century chivalry to modern emails, wordplay has always triumphed. Try to bring in the same values and intent to your email writing.

	Remember - if our forefathers could do it, then so can we!

	Personalized subject lines

	As per Adestra July 2012 Report, as many as 22.2 per cent emails are more likely to be opened if they carry a personalized subject lines.

	Imagine finding 100+ emails in your mailbox after a vacation trip… how many emails are you most likely to open first --- email with a bland subject line like “Team Lead Follow-up” or something more personal like a “Hey Jim, Here’s last week’s round-up in your absence”? (The answer could be subjective, but the point is special attention to subject lines)

	Mail subjects are crucial from a marketing perspective as well. Digital marketers are well aware of the fact that subject lines could may be their biggest asset after content. But don’t OVERDO it!

	Nobody appreciates an overflowing inbox.

	In the movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128853/">You’ve Got Mail!</a>, Tom Hanks hides his true identity from Meg Ryan over email when he realizes that he isn’t talking to a complete stranger anymore. Instead of confronting her face-to-face he tries winning Meg’s <keyword id="24479" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="80" keywordseo="heart">heart</keyword> with his words and emails. Now that might be too mellow for the current demographic or a group of people, but one cannot miss Hanks’ point! 
	 
	(<a href="https://plus.google.com/+UtkarshSahu9/posts">Utkarsh Sahu</a> is a pro word-slinger, covering mostly technology and marketing stories. Fond of social media, he can be reached via <keyword id="6354616" type="CITY" weightage="80" keywordseo="Twitter">Twitter</keyword> / <keyword id="819905" type="COMPANY" weightage="80" keywordseo="Instagram">Instagram</keyword> as <a href="https://twitter.com/UtkSahu">UtkSahu</a> /<a href="https://instagram.com/utkarshsj/">Utkarshsj</a>)

The lost art of writing emails. History has a point!

<div class="KonaFilter image-container"><div class="image on-image">Screenshot</div></div>
<div class="KonaFilter image-container float_right click-to-enlarge" style="width:240px"><div class="image on-image"><a title_source="Screenshot" title_caption="Click to see the full profile" class="zoomin" href="http://static3.businessinsider.com/image/527d51a86bb3f70a40e9b7dd-960/unti.jpg"></a>ScreenshotClick to see the full profile</div></div>Chivalry isn't dead, but it's on life support and I've just completed an experiment that doesn't bode well for its future.
I spent a week on <keyword id="228306" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="OkCupid">OKCupid</keyword> under a female identity to see what it's like to be a woman looking for love online. It was frustrating and tiring, far more trouble than I could imagine it being worth for a woman legitimately invested in it.
Ladies: I'm not going to claim some comprehensive understanding of the social plights of the modern woman, but OKCupid gave me a tiny peek into your part of the online <keyword id="6367193" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Dating">dating</keyword> world, and it's exhausting.
I learned that women looking for men on OKCupid do not have to try very hard at all. The numbers are so overwhelmingly in their favor that I could kick back and watch my inbox fill with messages, no effort required after setting up the profile.
I felt like the belle of the ball. And then I read the messages.
Initially I was engaging with people, replying to their messages and asking questions. But halfway through day two, I was having to comb through an inbox bursting with weirdness, deviance, and even cultural and racial insensitivity.
I was so disillusioned with all the garbage messages I received that I actively disliked browsing the site.
By no means was every interaction unpleasant. It's simply that the signal-to-noise ratio of it all dominated the tone of my experience. My messages were so undesirable that by the second or third day of scopin' dudes and alternately receiving offers for casual sex and gushy fanmail based on nothing at all, I was over it.
Let's meet our straw woman
You can't just conjure a woman out of thin air. Only pictures and a personality will to lend some verity to a profile, so a personal friend gave me permission to make her the star of this story. She's operating under the handle "FourStrongWindz" because she likes Neil Young.
As for the body of the profile (which you can read in its entirety by clicking on it above), I filled it out with feminine guidance from my fellow Business Insider colleague Caroline Moss.
Within minutes I started getting messages.
The good
Take this guy, who seemed like a real sweetheart. He was unfortunately an exception to the rule.
<div class="KonaFilter image-container"><div class="image on-image">Screenshot</div></div> 
 The bad
A nutty number of guys sent me one-word messages. Consider this one, a mere three letters long.
<div class="KonaFilter image-container"><div class="image on-image">Screenshot</div></div>
Fully expecting this to be a one-off incident of laziness, my potential suitors shot themselves in the foot over and over by offering nothing more than a greeting and giving me nothing to respond to.
Some use canned lines over and over, and it's unfortunately obvious when that happens. Like these two, arriving 30 minutes apart from each other.
<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image">Screenshot</div></div></div> 
And some get straight to the point, asking for a phone number straight away:
<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image">Screenshot</div></div></div>
One immediately made the grand leap to an offer of casual sex:
<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image">Screenshot</div></div></div>
Keep in mind that this is my first interaction with these guys. This is what they're opening with.
The ugly
<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image">Screenshot</div></div></div>
I didn't really know what to do with this guy. He came on strong and wouldn't buzz off and then told me I seemed Jewish.
So what does this all mean?
<a href="http://www.winggirlmethod.com/blog/">I talked to Marni Kinrys</a>, a dating and relationships expert who helps men overcome difficulties with women (she bills herself as "the ultimate wing girl," though she recently started <a href="http://www.winggirlmethod.com/dating-tips-for-women/">offering advice to help women with men</a>.) She recommends that her clients try this very exercise - impersonating a woman online - for the sake of experiencing what it's like to be on the receiving end of so many romantic, sexual, weird advances firsthand.
"Many men seem to pounce on women online just as they would in real life," she said. "There's no emotional explanation for it other than they want spice and curiosity. At some point it probably turns into a numbers game for them. If you send the same generic message to ten girls and get one response, it's easy to count that a success. So why not do it over and over?"
It becomes romantic carpet bombing.
And then there are the "scripts" she told me about: "Some men really blow it by using scripts or templates. The woman ends up interacting with a dynamic man over the Internet who can't make eye contact in person."
Marni's advice for those having a go at online dating seems to boil down to simply knowing what you want in advance. Casual sex? A long-term relationship? By identifying this down first, you can help narrow the pool of people online would would actually be receptive to meeting you.
What I took away from all this
Win, lose, or draw, a girl on OKCupid will receive messages from men.
Part of me was disappointed in the lack of effort and sincerity that so many of my fellow men exercised in communicating with me, a supposed female Brooklynite who's single and looking. How do you wade through all the verbal vomit that comes at you through your inbox?
But another part of me found this really hope-inspiring. There are enough men on the site that you're bound to find someone who's into you, self-perceived flaws and all.

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