The Tooth Fairy is getting out of control at nearly 6 bucks a pop. Parents — let's band together to push that down to $1.

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The Tooth Fairy is getting out of control at nearly 6 bucks a pop. Parents — let's band together to push that down to $1.
I can't handle the Tooth Fairy, indeed.Stephen Lovekin
  • The going rate for the Tooth Fairy is $5.84 per tooth.
  • But some parents — uh, I mean Fairies if any kids are reading — are going overboard with lavish gifts and $100 bills.
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I try to avoid grumbling about "Back in MY day" too often since it would always end up in a dark place where I'm trying to explain to Gen Z people that Fred Durst was, like, really, really famous for a few years.

But when I read in Axios that the going rate per tooth from the Tooth Fairy is $5.84, well, I nearly choked on my Werther's Original.

Frankly, the Tooth Fairy price is too damn high.

Here's the even worse news: According to Delta Dental, which provided the research, this is down from last year, which peaked at $6.23. (I'm unsure how this bodes for the economy at large.)

The Tooth Fairy is getting out of control at nearly 6 bucks a pop. Parents — let's band together to push that down to $1.
The Tooth Fairy's going rate is $5.84 a tooth, according to a Delta Dental report.bobbieo

Back in MY day, you were lucky if you got more than a quarter!

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The Wall Street Journal recently reported that some parents are shelling out $100 bills or Louis Vuitton bracelets. One dentist said he's heard of Tooth Fairies that leave an iPhone under the pillow for a lost incisor.

These parents are following a trend of doing big celebrations for not just milestones like Sweet 16s or graduations, but "inchstones" like a lost tooth.

I currently work as a helper for the Tooth Fairy (who is very real, to any kids who are reading) for my 7-year-old, who has lost four teeth so far. I settled on $5, which I thought was typical. In hindsight, I was giving him the short shift — in the Northeast, where I live, the going rate is even higher at $6.84, according to the report.

My son did mention to me that he had heard that other kids got $20 from the Tooth Fairy, which I sort of brushed off. I would be surprised if his friends were visited by such a high roller Fairy. (Kids lose 20 teeth over the years, which would make this a $400 payout.)

There is another scenario that seems more likely to me (and happened to at least one parent, as reported in the New York Post): In our increasingly cashless lives, the parents scrambled around in their wallets and couldn't find smaller bills.

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Here is my proposal. Parents need to band together to stop the madness. We need collective action — solidarity against the Tooth Fairy's excessive greed!

Let's agree to go back to $1 per tooth — the sensible solution.

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