The term 'bridezilla' is sexist and needs to be canceled, according to 2 newlyweds and a bride-to-be
- Women who spoke about their weddings in viral TikToks say they've been labeled "bridezillas."
- All three shared videos discussing personal
weddingpreferences and got negative responses.
Three women who went viral on
And all of them say it's time to do away with the term.
The word "
Weddings experts who discussed the concept of bridezillas with Insider's Samantha Grindell said common examples include going over budget with the wedding or instructing members of the bridal party to lose weight.
But more and more, the term is being used to describe women who simply have preferences for their weddings, Jully Patel said. The newlywed previously spoke to Insider about a TikTok where she talked about rules her bridesmaids followed, which included no red lipstick or necklaces.
She said that while most of the comments on her video, which has since been viewed over 5.5 million times, were positive, the 10% that were negative came from people calling her out for simply having rules in place for her wedding.
Getting stressed about such a big event is 'only natural,' Patel says
"If the bride is being outright mean and rude to any bridesmaid, family members, guests, that's not OK," said Patel, who married her husband Shahil in August.
But it's a different story when she and other women are being labeled bridezillas for having certain preferences, she added.
Patel said weddings are "hyped up" for your entire life, so it makes sense brides would want to have rules in place to help manage that.
"It's the bride who's kind of doing everything, making sure everything goes as planned," she said. "It's so much stress that naturally you're gonna get flustered."
"With the whole bridezilla thing, that word just needs to be canceled," Patel added.
People 'love to relish in negativity,' another bride said
Samantha Twist, a TikToker who married her husband Cameron in October 2020, said she also experienced being labeled a bridezilla online and by her guests. Twist, who has since made her account private, told Insider there's a good reason brides are stressed on their wedding days.
"You grow up, you watch 'The Wedding Planner,' you watch all these movies," Twist said. "Everybody says it's such an important day."
Twist said "everybody went crazy" when she and her husband wanted to have a color-coordinated dress code. She said around 10 of their 50 guests had an issue with it, and nearly all of the negativity was directed at her, not her husband.
"It was actually crazy because he was so involved," Twist said. "At least our immediate families knew that he was so involved."
When the TikTok she posted about the experience got picked up by The New York Post, The Independent, The Sun, and The Mirror, it was clear this story of a woman being painted as a bridezilla was popular. But why?
Twist said it comes down to people enjoying criticizing others. "Some people were so mad," she said. "People just love to relish in negativity."
'Bridezilla' is rooted in sexism, according to a bride-to-be
Paige Bruggink, a bride-to-be who's sharing attainable wedding advice TikToks in the lead-up to tying the knot with her partner on New Year's Eve, said the term bridezilla isn't just bad, it's sexist.
"It's used to vilify women who are trying to plan an event," Bruggink said, adding that was labeled a bridezilla after posting a previous video when she mentioned she was going to have a wedding dress code.
She said brides are "trying to people-please hundreds of people, and they're trying to make sure everyone's happy and be a good host on a day that's supposed to, in theory, be about them and the person that they love."
"But they want to make sure everyone else is happy and then they're stressed about it, and then people want to vilify them," she added.
"It's just ultimately based in sexism," she said. "So, I think it should be canceled."
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