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  5. Swifties who met at the Eras Tour last year just got engaged. Their proposal involved a friendship bracelet.

Swifties who met at the Eras Tour last year just got engaged. Their proposal involved a friendship bracelet.

Julia Pugachevsky   

Swifties who met at the Eras Tour last year just got engaged. Their proposal involved a friendship bracelet.
  • Kayla McCarty and Kat Messinger met at Taylor Swift's Eras Tour show in June 2023.
  • They started dating shortly after, and their entire relationship has Swift-style Easter eggs.

For years, Taylor Swift was the invisible string tying Kayla McCarty and Kat Messinger to each other.

The two were at the same 2018 Reputation Tour show and had a mutual friend who wanted to introduce them, but the crowd was too chaotic to navigate. Then, they would've joined the same friend group and attended Lover Fest in 2020, if it hadn't been canceled due to COVID.

"Our mutual friends told us 'you guys would be perfect for each other,' and we just have never been able to connect," McCarty, 31, told Business Insider.

But on June 3, 2023, the two finally made it to the second night of Swift's Eras Tour in Chicago. McCarty came from California and Messinger from Iowa, sharing a suite with their friends.

"We definitely could have talked to anyone in the whole suite," McCarty said. "We were gravitating toward each other all night long."

Some people observing them already thought they were a couple, especially when McCarty gave Messinger a friendship bracelet when she saw her getting emotional during Swift's "Champagne Problems."

"That was pretty much the moment that locked in this deep understanding of each other," McCarty said.

After almost a year of dating, including attending three more Eras Tour shows together, the two got engaged this past weekend.

"At an Eras Tour in SoFi, I gave her a friendship bracelet to ask her to be my girlfriend," McCarty said. "This weekend, she gave me a friendship bracelet and asked me to marry her, full circle."

They started dating weeks after they met

Days after they met, Messinger kept messaging the group chat originally used to coordinate meeting up for the concert, even though she rarely texts. A mutual friend, catching wind that Messinger just wanted to stay in touch with McCarty, encouraged her to reach out directly.

"She opened with 'Hi, it's me, I'm the problem, it's me,' and I immediately knew it was her," McCarty said. After that, they spoke nonstop. About a week later, Messinger asked what McCarty was doing in early July.

Messinger had finished her law clerkship in Iowa and was about to drive cross-country and relocate to Portland, Oregon. Only she kept driving to California to stay with McCarty and celebrate the release of "Speak Now (Taylor's Version)," spending the weekend together.

"It's always been a dream of mine to live in the woods, very 'Folklore' or 'Evermore,'" Messinger, 32, told BI. When she learned that McCarty lived near Yosemite National Park and also loved the outdoors, she saw "a dream girl, but also dream life."

"Electric Touch" became their song, because "it's about having this endless hope and it never working out, but that it could this time," McCarty said. One of the lyrics is "It's 8:05 and I see two headlights."

"I remember the exact moment I saw her car on my street and thinking 'This could be it,'" McCarty said.

Navigating a difficult time together

At first, Messinger moved to Portland as she planned, but the couple stayed very close.

"A lot of people are like, 'they're so fast, they're so lesbian, LOL,'" McCarty said of the pace of their relationship. "But we had this incredible summer of love where we went to a ton of the tours — and then things got real really fast."

McCarty's mother had a terminal illness. "I was starting to give up hope that she would be able to meet my person," McCarty said. "And it's like a family joke that my mom decided she was finally able to pass when she met Kat because she knew I'd be in good hands."

After that first meeting, Messinger supported McCarty, and was present when her mother died in November 2023. "She was the one who held me and kept me grounded to earth when it felt like everything was falling apart," McCarty said. Messinger began spending more time with McCarty in California, eventually treating it as more of a home base than her home in Portland.

When Messinger decided to propose, she got McCarty's mother's ring from her father. They went to the jeweler and incorporated the stones in both engagement rings.

"She and my mom had this very special relationship," McCarty said. "And so it was really important to me that she had a piece of my mom's ring."

Swift continues to be a part of their love story

Almost a year after they met, Messinger decided to propose when they were in Chicago, involving the original group that went to the concert with them.

"It was absolutely nerve-wracking," Messinger said. She made plans for the two to go out to dinner that Friday night, as a way to make sure they'd both be dressed up. As they got ready to leave, Messinger brought her over to the kitchen and started recounting their love story while one of their friends hid and took photos.

"I remember that one time you gave me a bracelet," Messinger said in her proposal. "I think it's only fitting that you get one."

The bracelet said "Marry Me" and included references to "Daylight," McCarty's favorite song. When she put it on, all of their friends popped out to embrace them.

"Taylor Swift was the reason why we met, but she literally has been in every step of this relationship," McCarty said.

In true Taylor Swift fashion, there are a lot of Easter eggs to be found: Their relationship followed a similar timeline to Swift's romance with Travis Kelce, with engagement rumors circling the same weekend Messinger proposed. Messinger also shares Taylor Swift's birthday, and both women are Sagittariuses, like Swift. They named their dog August after the song, and plan to attend the Eras Tour show in London this summer to celebrate their engagement.

"She's such a huge part of our life, and she has no idea, which is fine," McCarty said. As for their wedding? "She's always invited."