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When my twin came out as trans, I accepted them immediately. We became closer than ever.

Simone Margett   

When my twin came out as trans, I accepted them immediately. We became closer than ever.
  • My twin, Nico, and I were inseparable growing up, so we had to find our individual identities.
  • At 20, Nico came out as trans, and I accepted them instantly.

Nico and I have always had different personalities and hobbies — despite being fraternal twins.

I always loved playing with my Bratz dolls and Barbies, while they liked to kick a ball around, watch football, and play with action figures. Even though we couldn't be more different, we were inseparable. We always did things together; after all, being a twin is like having a built-in best friend.

None of that changed after my twin came out as transgender. Well, actually, we became even closer.

We had to find our own identities as we grew up

Sometimes, being a twin meant that we didn't have our own identities, as we were always known as "The Twins." So finding our individualism became important.

I started to explore myself as a queer, deaf person. I was born deaf and got my first hearing aid at 7 years old. Growing up deaf in a hearing family and a hearing world meant I struggled to find where I fit in. It didn't help that we lived in a small town where there wasn't anyone like me. Luckily, Nico was by my side the whole time, helping me grow into the person I was always meant to be.

Meanwhile, Nico was exploring their gender identity.

I knew Nico was trans before they came out. They always sported a shorter haircut and said in passing that they didn't identify with their sex at birth. They once told me they preferred to wear masculine clothes because that's what they felt most comfortable in.

Nico didn't officially come out to our mom and me until we were 20 years old. I gave them a big hug and said, "I know. I'm so proud of you."

When they came out as transmasculine, it was like the weight was lifted from their shoulders. The most natural step was to start their hormone-replacement therapy. I knew I wanted to help them in any way I could.

I accepted Nico right away and watched them become who they were meant to be

I know some people talk about the "grief" of losing a sibling, or however you may define it, but in all honesty, I never felt I lost anything. Nico has been and will always be Nico — my twin and my confidant.

I can't begin to imagine the internal conflict Nico dealt with, but it wasn't something I struggled to accept or understand because the only thing that changed was his happiness and confidence.

Because of the lengthy National Health Service waiting lists in the UK and my concern for Nico's mental state, I looked at alternative options for them to access gender-affirming care. In the UK in 2022, people wanting gender-affirming care were put on a waiting list, which lasted more than 18 months. The result was higher suicidal ideation.

I didn't want my twin to become another statistic in the suicides of trans people because of the waiting times. But Nico was finally able to get the care they needed.

Nico's courage to be themselves helped me feel comfortable in my sexuality, and I came out in 2020 as pansexual and queer.

As we've grown older and gone down different life paths, we have gotten so close that our family thinks we'll live together or next door to each other. What will never change is that I'm Nico's biggest supporter and cheerleader — whether I'm next door, in the city, or on another continent.

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