- Courteney Kocak and Sofiya Alexandra, co-hosts of the
sex and travel podcast Private Parts Unknown, traveled toJapan and got erotic massages. - They hired men trained in "happy ending" massages through an online agency, asked their partners for consent, and then had 70-minute massage sessions featuring sex toys and multiple orgasms.
- They said their experiences reshaped how they view sex work.
- Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.
Courtney Kocak and Sofiya Alexandra were staying at a hotel in Tokyo, Japan, when they heard a knock on their door.
They knew exactly who it was: their two male masseuses who would soon give them "happy ending" massages, or massages that involve sexual stimulation and orgasms.
As the co-hosts of the podcast "Private Parts Unknown," Kocak and Alexandra travel the world exploring sex, dating, and
Along the way, they befriended Japanese journalist Hiroko Imai, who dared the duo to try erotic massage themselves. Kocak and Alexandra agreed, and said it changed their views on sex work.
"I think before, when my male friends told me like they'd gotten 'happy ending' massages, I think in my mind I was like, 'Oh, those poor suckers. They paid for sex,'" Alexendra told Insider. "I looked down on that."
Once Alexandra paid for sex herself, she realized it wasn't a shameful experience."When I bought sex, I didn't feel dirty. I didn't feel bad. I didn't think that there was something sad about it. It really was like just getting a massage," she said.
In Japan, sex work, including erotic massage, is legal
Sex work is legal in Japan, but under strict guidelines. The Japanese use the word "fuzoku" to refer to erotic massage parlors, strip clubs, call-in escorts, bathhouses, and brothels, which are all legal because they suggest the client and service provider are acquaintances at the very least.
Prostitution, on the other hand, is considered illegal because it involves paid sex with a stranger, according to the Japan Times.
For their erotic massages, Kocak and Alexandra used an agency that hires and trains thousands of men in the art.
"You can pick a guy off the website," after looking at their bios, Kocak said. "They have little tidbits about what they like to do for fun and you know, it's kind of hilarious. My guy had a small dog in his profile pic."
Alexandra said that the man who owns the agency trains all of the people he employs.
"He trained all of the guys in these techniques of how to essentially make women come. And they had to take tests and the tests were, basically, they have to make a woman come," Alexandra said. "The woman rates them and based on her rating, they pass and work for the agency, or they fail and they don't."
Instead of picking their own men like a client typically would, they asked the company to "send us your two of your best and brightest," Alexandra said, adding that when they looked at their profiles following the massage, they had little crown icons next to their names to signify their prowess.
They each decided they wanted to book a 70-minute massage, which cost 11,000 yen, or just over $100.
Before setting up the massage, they called their partners
Both Kocak and Alexandra are in long-term relationships, so they discussed the prospect of erotic massage with their partners before booking the sessions.
Alexandra called her husband, who she's been with for nearly a decade, first.
"I called him and I was like, 'Hey, so this is for research, obviously, you know, this is what we want to do.' And then he kind of laughed and he was like, 'Sure, go come.' And I was like, 'Coolest husband ever,'" Alexandra said.
Kocak went next with her boyfriend of three and a half years, and decided to text him because she thought it'd make asking easier.
"I sent a little bit of a manipulative text where I said, 'Hey, is it cool if I get an erotic massage?' then I just added in, 'Max said Sophia [Alexandra] could do it,'" Kocak said. "And he wrote back, 'LOL. Yeah, sure.'"
Sex toys and multiple orgasms were part of the massage experience
Once Kocak and Alexandra booked their massages, they were told the masseuses would meet them at their hotel and that they should shower before their sessions, which the masseuses do as well.
None of the masseuses spoke English, so they used Google Translate on their phones to communicate.
Alexandra said her masseuse had no shortage of sex toys, and that he was "super respectful" and covered her breasts with a sheet before starting the massage.
"He had a whole army of vibrators and, like, this c--- sucker. And honestly, he did an incredible job," she said. "After I came once, I was going to go and he was like, 'No, no finish.' And then he made me come three more times and I was like, 'Please, I'm exhausted.'"
Kocak said the men also use their tongues and fingers during the erotic massage, which surprised her.
"They give you little, like, cat lick on your vagina, but it's very, very light. I'm sure they would get tired of doing a lot of that all night [with multiple clients], so it's just a few licks to get you warmed up and then they move on to hand and toy stuff," Kocak said.
Both women said they'd be open to paying for sex work again
The erotic massages marked the first time Kocak and Alexandra paid for sex, and they both said they'd do it again.
Kocak also said she'd never thought about exploring open relationships or polyamorous dynamics, but now she's more open to it.
"This actually opened my eyes to see there are forms of open relationships that could work... because I am a type of person that craves variety," Kocak said. "Maybe when we go to Amsterdam [where sex work is legal] my boyfriend and I will hire a third or, you know, I could understand ways this would fit into my life in the future."
Alexandra said she was surprised by the positive physical release she felt after her massage.
"I came four times in 70 minutes, but it felt like a release and it didn't feel romantic. It truly felt like a physical release. And then we were on cloud nine for at least 48 hours after, just walking around high fiving people," Alexandra said.
"And it made me feel like, you know what? Buying sex that makes you feel like this, and the other person doesn't feel degraded, and they're making money, and it's through an agency, yes. Hell yes. Legalize it."
- Read more:
- Zoom break-ups and live-in exes: 3 newly-single people describe what it's like to end a relationship in quarantine
- A therapist in an open relationship said she defines emotional cheating as 'secrecy'
- How women can have more orgasms throughout their lives, according to an expert who spent 5 years studying pleasure
- How to become a pro at bedroom trash-talk, according to a dominatrix