I watched the first episode of reality series 'Good Sex,' and seeing men ask for sex help was really hot
- The new discovery+ series "Good Sex" has couples put cameras in their bedrooms. A sex coach uses the footage to help improve their intimacy.
- In the first episode, men reveal their sexual issues, like erectile dysfunction and overall inexperience.
On the new television series "Good Sex," couples willingly plant video cameras in their bedrooms while they have sex, then fork the tapes over to a sex coach for help.
Caitlin V. Neal, the show's resident sex coach, has spent more than 10 years helping men with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and pleasuring women.
Minutes into the first episode, a 48-year-old man named Ben admits he has trouble getting out of his head during sex with his partner Annie, which has led to erectile dysfunction. When Neal later examines video footage of their lovemaking, she finds out Annie's dog is in the room while they're getting it on, which interferes with Ben's ability to focus. In the same episode, a man in his 20s reveals he's never had sex, and wants to learn how to please a woman before he does, so Neal walks him through different pleasure points by caressing an anatomical model of female genitals.
As Insider's sex and relationships reporter and advice columnist, I constantly read questions from women who want to save their sex and love lives. So it was refreshing to watch men get candid about their sexual concerns, like when Ben said a disconnect between his brain and body was likely the reason for his "limp dick."
To me, "Good Sex" is a reminder that sex can be awkward and fulfilling all at once. Like the willingness to ask for help, good sex requires self-awareness, self-love, and feeling safe enough to show you're still figuring it out.
"Good Sex" takes a raw approach by showing couples in the midst of their sexual mistakes, not just how they resolve them.
A 48-year-old named Ben opened up about difficulty achieving orgasm during sex
Ben said he's only been with three women in his life, including his current partner of two years, Annie. They said they were both previously married to their college sweethearts.
"As great as our sex is, I'm not able stay hard, or even get hard, sometimes," Ben told the camera during the first episode. He said current erectile dysfunction issues have made sex feel disheartening and distressing, especially coming from a previous marriage where he wasn't having a lot of sex.
During their first session with Neal, Ben said erectile dysfunction medication hasn't helped, and he wants to orgasm during sex with Annie.
According to Neal, the pursuit of good sex challenges people, especially men, to be more emotionally open.
"Sex is an inherently vulnerable act. And so if you're looking to improve your sex life and you're serious in your commitment to improving your intimacy, vulnerability is a requirement to getting the results that they want," Neal said.
According to Neal, the showrunners' idea to use cameras along with sex coaching made for "exponentially faster transformations, growth, and impact" because she could see what was actually happening, not just hear it from the couple's blurry recollections.
"Imagine trying to explain, step by step, what happened the last time you had sex with your partner. Especially if you don't have something to compare it to, it's really difficult for someone to articulate what actually happened," Neal, who also has a YouTube channel dedicated to sex advice, told Insider.
Healthy sex and relationships require work
The show offers snippets of each couples' sex-coaching sessions and the bedroom homework Neal assigns them, but there's a lot more work going on between scenes, she told Insider.
Each coaching session is between 90 minutes and two hours. It also takes time for a couple to unlearn the sex routines they've grown accustomed to over the past five to 30 years, Neal said.
When viewers watch "Good Sex," Neal hopes they walk away with the realization that a fulfilling sex life requires commitment and help.
"We have no problem hiring career coaches, mechanics, people to install things in our homes. But for some reason, we have the story that sex is something we have to deal with privately, without any help. By putting cameras inside of those closed bedroom doors, we're able to see this isn't something you have to deal with in isolation. It's not something that should be a source of shame," Neal said.
A dedication to honesty and emotional openness in the name of self-improvement? Now that's hot.
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