scorecardI'm a tired mom who is over date nights. My husband and I keep the romance alive by going to hotels for 'trashy' sex.
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I'm a tired mom who is over date nights. My husband and I keep the romance alive by going to hotels for 'trashy' sex.

Erica Jackson Curran   

I'm a tired mom who is over date nights. My husband and I keep the romance alive by going to hotels for 'trashy' sex.
LifeScience3 min read
Colin Anderson Productions/Getty Images
  • My husband and I have been together over a decade.
  • We are both tired from our days and son, and date nights are often not enough to decompress.

The first time I invited my husband to meet me for a hotel romp, I wanted everything to be perfect. I checked in early and carried my small bag of provisions to the room, wondering whether the front desk clerk suspected my plans.

I placed a bottle of Champagne on the nightstand and jumped into the shower, scrubbing away the long day with generic hotel soap. I pulled a balled-up pair of black panties and a bra from my bag and quickly put them on while attempting to find something sexy to stream on the Bluetooth speakers.

I heard his key in the door, and I tossed my phone to the ground, attempting the pose of a woman who had done this before, a woman who wore sexy lace lingerie every day instead of a nursing bra. A woman who, just an hour before, hadn't been wiping her child's snotty nose with the sleeve of her decidedly unsexy hoodie that she'd been wearing for three days straight.

Upon entering the room, my husband took one look at me and quickly closed the door behind him, then turned back to me with a massive grin on his face. After more than a decade together and countless forgettable date nights, it was safe to say I'd finally surprised him.

I'll spare you the details of the few hours we spent in the room before going home to relieve the babysitter, but I will say this: We had fun. A lot more fun than we usually have on our infrequent date nights, sitting across from one another in a darkened restaurant, tired and trying not to talk about our son the entire time.

So the next time we managed to bribe someone to watch our kid so we could get away for a few hours, we had a clear choice: go to dinner and a movie, or go have "trashy" hotel sex? Though unconventional and sure to inspire pearl clutching among some more conservative circles, the answer was obvious.

Turns out, hotel sex isn't just for escorts and couples having affairs. They're also an ideal date night activity for parents like us. Here's why:

It's a break from the routine

It can be hard to get in the mood when dealing with bedtime battles and a kid who's decided he wants to cosleep, not to mention the piles of laundry and various household chores that are always lurking on the edge of our consciousness. When the opportunity does strike at home, the mood is often nowhere to be found. But when we're in a new setting, with nary a chore or crying kid in sight? It's surprisingly easy to find that spark we've been too exhausted to uncover.

We can be a little bit irresponsible

There's something about hotels that encourages bad behavior. I'll gladly take a ridiculously long, hot shower, then toss my towel on the ground, turn on the trashiest Bravo show I can find, and then raid the minibar and eat chips and drink booze in bed. We have the kind of sex we can't have with a kid sleeping in the next room. And no, I won't be washing the sheets afterward. I'll just be sure to leave a generous tip for housekeeping.

The rooms don't cost much more than a standard date night

Because we're not hitting up luxury properties, and because we typically rendezvous on weekdays, we can usually get a decent room in a clean hotel for about the same price as dinner and a movie — even less if we're cashing in our credit-card points. If we bring our own bottle of wine, sometimes we'll even spring for room service. Because what's sexier than eating burgers in bed while wearing white, fluffy bathrobes?

It's a fun little secret to share

When we get home, and the babysitter asks about our date night, my husband and I always exchange a little smile before giving a generic reply. We'll think about our date the next day, and the day after that, and before long, we'll start wondering when we can do it again.

One thing I do know: A typical date night will never feel quite as satisfying again.




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