A therapist-in-training shared private texts with her husband on TikTok to show how they support each other every day

A therapist-in-training shared private texts with her husband on TikTok to show how they support each other every day
Crystal Britt/Apartment 3 Photography
  • Crystal Britt, who is currently studying to be a licensed therapist, shared texts with her husband on TikTok.
  • Britt shared the messages to explain how she uses certain strategies to be a supportive partner, even with busy schedules.

Crystal Britt says it took years of individual and couple's therapy for her and her husband to learn how to consistently support and communicate with each other.

Britt, who is based in California and currently training to become a licensed therapist, took to TikTok to share how years of therapy have translated into positive day-to-day text exchanges with her husband. Britt says sending mindful text-based check-ins has become a go-to method for how she shows up in her closest relationships.

She shared some of these texts with Insider, and broke down how she and her loved ones have deepened their relationships with each other through simple, yet consistent, chats.

According to Kelly Scott, a licensed therapist at Tribeca Therapy in New York City, an approach to communication like Britt's can stop couples from feeling resentful towards each other. At the same time, she said the text-based strategy could exacerbate existing problems if both partners aren't invested.

The text format allows her and her husband time to process emotions

According to Britt, using text messages for emotional check-ins may not be for everyone. When it comes to Britt and her husband, she said having time to read and process messages allows them to have more productive conversations.


"My husband and I are both very cerebral, nerdy people, and so it's easier for us to think through our feelings than actually feel them," Britt told Insider.

She said she sends her husband a check-in text, asking how his morning went, once their three young children are in school and they're at their prospective offices.

After they check in, she asks how she can support him. Britt finds asking how she can support her husband, rather than asking how he feels, allows him to better convey his needs.

"He doesn't usually ask for help, so asking how I can support him gives him the opportunity to point out specific ways I can help him during the day," she said.

Britt's husband also checked in with her about spending quality time together.

A therapist-in-training shared private texts with her husband on TikTok to show how they support each other every day
Therapist Crystal Britt shared her text exchanges with her TikTok followers to show how the medium can be a tool to support loved ones.Crystal Britt/Insider

If Britt or her husband text about something they'd prefer to save for an in-person conversation, or if they have to run to go to a meeting or run an errand, they table the topic, Britt said.

"If I have to dip, I'll say, 'Hey, I want to pick this up and here's the time when I want to revisit it with you,'" Britt said.

Both partners have to be transparent for the strategy to work

According to Scott, Britt's text communication with her husband works so well because they are both explicit with their words and transparent about their needs.

Text-based chats often leave room for misinterpretation, but it was clear Britt and her husband worked to avoid that, and it's paid off, Scott said.

"Moving things out of the subtle and out of the implied and into the realm of, 'Let's just say it as clearly as possible so that we can be as accurate as possible,' eliminates a lot of opportunity for conflict," Scott told Insider.


For couples who'd like to try Britt's strategy, Scott said every couple may need something different.

"This is very tailored to the couple, very tailored to the relationship. I think this is a natural solution, of them co-creating the way that they want talk to each other and the way that they want to be talked to," Scott said.

She suggested starting your practice on a playful note, since taking it too seriously could turn your relationship sour, and to be willing to admit when you've made a mistake.