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6 saucy positions to add a little kink into your sex life, recommended by three different sex therapists

Sep 2, 2022, 20:50 IST
Using a blindfold can help you have a more exciting and sensory experience.Vincent Besnault/Getty Images
  • One way to experiment with kink is by incorporating some spanking into the cowgirl position.
  • You can also try adding hair-pulling to doggy style and restraints to the missionary position.

If you feel like you're in a sexual rut, why not try adding some kinkiness into the mix? Your partner may be more open to trying unconventional sex than you think.

A 2018 survey conducted by a sex toy company found that 40% of respondents identified as kinky people, and 76% of respondents said they were willing to give new sex acts a try.

Whether you want to experiment with painful pleasure, power plays, sex toys, or unusual sex positions, there are endless ways to experiment with kink.

Note: You should discuss boundaries with your partner before trying any sexual act. Some of these positions involve light pain, so it's crucial to make sure that everyone involved consents.

Here are six saucy, kinky sex positions to try.

1. Doggy style with hair pulling

Doggy style is already super hot, but to make things a bit kinky, you can add some hair pulling into the mix, says Lee Phillips, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in private practice.


This position gives the penetrating partner complete control so that the receiving partner will experience an exciting mix of pain and pleasure.

How to do it:

1. The receiving partner gets on all fours.

2. The penetrating partner kneels behind them and inserts their penis or dildo.

3. The penetrating partner grabs a fistful of hair from the back of their partner's head and thrusts while pulling it.


4. If the receiving partner wants it to be even rougher, the penetrating partner can thrust harder and pull the hair back more. Pull the hardest when the receiving partner is orgasming.

To increase the intensity even more for the receiving partner, Phillips says using a vibrator on the clitoris while having your hair pulled can lead to a mind-blowing orgasm.

Note: When you're pulling your partner's hair, be careful to avoid any extreme jerking motions that could cause neck injuries.

2. Power-play oral

To make oral sex kinkier, Phillips suggests incorporating a bit of roughness or power play dynamics during the act.

How to do it:


1. The receiving partner sits in a chair or lies on their back.

2. The giving partner positions themselves in between their partner's legs.

3. The receiving partner grabs their partner's face and pushes it between their legs, holding it there but not pressing down hard enough that you deprive your partner of air.

4. When the receiving partner lifts the giving partner's head up, they can lightly slap them, spit on them, engage in some dirty talk, or simply tell them what a good job they're doing.

5. The receiving partner pushes their partner's face back down where it was so they can keep going.


Be sure to discuss hard limits beforehand, such as whether or not you're okay with being slapped, or what names you're okay with being called.

The giving partner can also use a sex toy on themselves while they're performing oral to amp up their own pleasure, Phillips says.

3. Restrained missionary

If you're bored of the plain missionary sex position, adding restraints is a great way to spice things up.

This makes it difficult for the receiving partner to move, but easy for them to be played with and teased, says Courtney Padjen, a sex therapist and the director of the Centre for Sexual Wellness.

Restrained missionary is a great way to play around with bondage and power dynamics since the penetrating partner will be in complete control, with the restrained partner totally submissive. Utilize your bed posts (if you have them), or Padjen says you can purchase a restraint system.


How to do it:

1. The penetrating partner restrains the receiving partner by tying them to bed posts or getting them into a restraint system.

2. Once their partner's arms and legs are restrained, the penetrating partner gets on top and inserts their penis or dildo.

On top of using restraints, Padjen says the penetrating partner can take things up another notch by using other props like a blindfold, ballgag, or nipple clamps on their partner.

Not ready to go all out with all four limbs being so tightly restrained? Phillips says you can also simply tie the partner's wrists together above their head for a less intense experience.


4. Cowgirl with spanking

The cowgirl or girl-on-top sex position is pretty standard, but adding some consensual pain into the mix can make it much spicier.

Padjen says the partner on top is in a great position to be spanked by the penetrating partner.

How to do it:

1. The penetrating partner lies flat on their back.

2. The receiving partner straddles their partner, facing forward, and sits on top of their partner's penis or dildo so they can ride it.


3. The penetrating partner can spank their partner's butt with their hand or a prop like a wooden spoon or a paddle made specifically for spanking.

"Though simple, spanking does involve some skill. Be sure to spank the meatier part of the butt and avoid spanking boney areas and the back," Padjen says

Be mindful that the spank will sting more if you're using a prop — so start with your hands and work up to harder materials if you're a beginner.

5. Taste of bliss

If you want to take the 69 position to a more kinky level, try out the taste of bliss position.

"This non-penetrative sex position is great for simultaneous oral stimulation in a position that offers easy access to booty play," says Melinda DeSeta, a sexologist and certified sex therapist at Insight Counseling Center.


Butt play in and of itself can feel kinky to those who are only used to traditional oral. Plus, the nature of this position puts the partner on the bottom into a more vulnerable and exposed position, great for experimenting with power play dynamics.

How to do it:

1. The bottom partner lays flat on their back, grabs their ankles, and pulls their legs up, knees towards their shoulders, so the top partner has easy access to their genitals and butt.

2. The top partner kneels with their legs on either side of their partner's face, facing the opposite direction towards their genitals.

3. The top partner bends forward so their face is in line with their partner's genitals and butt.


4. When both partners' faces and genital areas are aligned, simultaneous oral stimulation (of the genitals, anus, or both) can begin.

6. Wild yoga

There are plenty of yoga-inspired sex positions. The "wild yoga" sex position may not exactly be a yoga posture, but it certainly requires some athleticism so be careful, especailly if you're not super fit.

How to do it:

1. The receiving partner lies on their back with their arms and legs spread open.

2. The penetrating partner stands over them, almost perpendicularly, placing one foot between their partner's legs and the other foot near their head.


3. The penetrating partner lifts up their partner's hips while keeping their legs open. (They can push their partner's pelvis against one of their thighs if they want some support).

4. Once in position, the standing partner can insert their penis or dildo and thrust deeply from above.

It's a position that puts the penetrating partner in complete control, and it allows for deep penetration, DeSeta says. This can be super pleasurable for both partners.

Insider's takeaway

Remember that consent and communication are always vital with sex, and this becomes even more important when you're adding kink into the mix.

Have an open and honest dialogue with your partner to discuss both of your hard limits and your wildest desires. From there, you can have fun experimenting with different types of kinks, props, and sex positions to see what turns you and your partner on the most.

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