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A passenger went viral for saying she refused to swap seats so a family could sit together and now a flight etiquette debate has blown up on Tiktok

Oct 28, 2022, 16:28 IST
Insider
Maresa Friedman's TikTok went viral, receiving 1.4 million views.Maresa Friedman via TikTok
  • A TikToker said she refused to move from her first-class plane seat so a family could sit together.
  • The video went viral and some people said she should have more "compassion" for the family.
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A TikToker who said she did not want to give up her plane seat to a family that asked her to has sparked intense debate on the platform about travel etiquette and compassion.

On October 20, a creator whose bio says her name is Maresa Friedman posted a video where she appeared to be sitting on a plane. An on-screen caption on the post read, "I am not a villain for not moving from the seat in first class I paid full fare for, I'm also a mom so it's called PLANNING AHEAD."

The video went viral, receiving 1.4 million views, and was initially met with a mostly positive response, as various users began to stitch and duet her, saying that they thought her decision was fair.

Friedman explained why she refused to move from her seat in a subsequent video posted later that day, which has 54,000 views. She said that a family of four asked her to swap her seat for one of theirs so that they could all be seated together in a row.

"Why is it on everybody else to accommodate, like, if this was something different like, 'oh we're on the bus and we have to give up a seat for a couple stops,' yeah sure," Friedman said, adding, "I'm not a villain."

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Though Friedman did not specify whether the family was asking her to move to a different seat class, she concluded her video by saying, "If you buy basic economy tickets, you should have zero expectations of sitting together."

Many users who agreed with Friedman said they would do the same thing in her situation.

"I do not think it's right to ask other passengers or pressure other passengers or expect other passengers to give up their seats to seat a family together because nine times out of 10, it's poor planning on the family's part," said one user, who said she works as a flight attendant.

"I have been yelled at, cursed at, told that I am an unkind person because I refuse to move my seat," said another user who said they travel frequently on business trips, adding, "I'm not being unkind but I booked my travel just like you booked your travel, and you should have picked your seat."

Despite initial support, before long, a hostile debate broke out between Friedman and another user who said he disagreed with her.

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The TikToker, whose bio states he is a divorce lawyer named Brian Pakpour, posted a video on October 26 that received 38,000 views.

"Who cares if you move your seat so a family can sit together, but you're going to be so elitist, you're like, 'No I got my seat,'" he said, captioning his post, "Let's do better, people!!! Compassion is never wasted."

Pakpour received a mixed response in the comments section, including many from people saying they thought he was wrong and that the family should have planned ahead. He made a follow-up video with a caption that read, "When you make a video asking people to be more compassionate to their fellow travelers so they fill your comments section with hate."

Friedman responded to Pakpour in a post on October 26, which had an on-screen caption that read, "You being triggered is you interpreting my behavior as elitist is actually not compassionate."

She also said that one reason why she wanted to keep her seat is because she has a disability, adding, "I hope this made you feel amazing!"

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Pakpour has not publically addressed Friedman's comments about his video, but said in a statement to Insider, "The original video never mentioned this individual being disabled, so that changed the hypothetical significantly," adding, "if you're disabled, and you bought that seat, and it's a hardship to change, of course you shouldn't be villainized for refusing to change."

Pakpour said that his TikTok "was less about her video than the comments in her video," many of which supported Friedman's viewpoint and said that the family was in the wrong. "I just wish we as people were more compassionate about the needs of others," he added.

In a TikTok video posted later on October 26, Friedman addressed anyone who responded negatively to the online debate her video stirred, saying, "If you're triggered, this is a you thing," adding, "If it stirred up enough in you to write angry commentary to me, or to fight with other people in the comments, you might need to look at that."

She also said she has multiple disabilities that require her to travel in specific seating but said she would not go into detail about it as she does not wish to "justify" her situation to people on the internet.

She told Insider that looking back on the situation, she still "would not have moved" and explained that she decided to mention her disabilities because she thinks "it's important to remind people that I am a human at the other end of this."

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For more stories like this, check out coverage from Insider's Digital Culture team here.

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