My 11-year-old has a phone. I only agreed to it as long as I could see his location.
- My son started asking for a phone when he was in 5th grade.
- I agreed in 6th grade with the condition that he had to share his location with me.
"Everyone has one," my 11-year-old insisted. Although I knew it wasn't completely accurate, he felt like the only 5th grader without a cellphone. He'd been asking for a couple of years, and my husband was now less adamant that we wait as long as possible to give in. I knew that despite my resistance, the day he'd receive a phone number of his own was coming quickly. "At the start of 6th grade, we'll get you a phone," I agreed. I had the summer to adjust my mindset — I didn't have a little kid anymore and soon he'd be connected to the world virtually.
Buying my son a phone wasn't my first choice. I often wish I could raise my children in the 90s to avoid the dangers that come along with today's technology. I didn't want him texting incessantly, watching YouTube videos on his bus ride to school, or having a device to distract him from the people around him. I also worried he'd naively connect with strangers. But on the other hand, he was one of few kids his age without a cellphone.
Starting middle school, with activities widening, I wanted him to have the ability to call me in an emergency — or simply when he needed a ride. But the main reason I agreed to get my 6th grader a cellphone is the "share location" feature.
I now know when he's arrived home safely
As a mother, the "Find My" app is the most important app on my phone.
Whereas I once placed my son on a bus and assumed he arrived at school safely, I can now follow the bus route and track his departure from home and his arrival at school. If I'm running late in the afternoon, I can see that he arrived home safely. And when he's at a party or hanging out with friends, there's never a question as to his whereabouts.
As a mom, this feature gives me a sense of calm I didn't have before he had a phone. It's the peace of mind our parents didn't have when we were young.
When I place my 3rd grader on the bus, it's a whole different story. If his bus is running late in the afternoon — as it often does — I'm not able to see where he is and how much farther they must travel before he arrives home. As a mother, I have less control and more anxiety without the ability to check his location like I can with my older son. It's the one reason I'm looking forward to getting him a phone in a few years, too.
I see my husband's location too
But we don't just use the share location feature for my son. With a job that takes my husband up to one and a half hours from home at times, he shares his location with me for peace of mind.
Recently, he traveled during a snowstorm, and following his location as he drove allowed me to ensure his safety without a distracting phone call. I also share my location with him because there's really no reason not to — in the event my family needs to check where I am, I'd rather be prepared.
In a world with so much uncertainty, knowing that I can check my son's location within seconds is reassuring — and it will only become more valuable as he matures and ventures into the world independently. The share location feature is the best perk of today's technology.
While I hope to minimize the amount of time my kids spend watching YouTube or texting with friends in group chats, knowing that having a device enables me to know where they are — and that they're safe — is everything.