I played KFC's bizarre Colonel Sanders dating game so you don't have to

Kevin Webb

Sep 26, 2019, 19:08 IST

I played KFC's bizarre Colonel Sanders dating game so you don't have to

"I Love you Colonel Sanders: A Finger Licking Good Dating Simulator" is a free video game created by KFC and Psyop.
The game is a parody of Japanese dating simulators and light novel games - text-based adventures with multiple storylines and different endings.
It's a shameless marketing stunt from KFC, but it can't hurt you any more than KFC's new fried chicken and glazed donuts menu.
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Two weeks ago KFC stunned video game fans by announcing a brand new game starring the company's mascot, Colonel Sanders. Things got even weirder when the game was revealed to be a dating simulator with Colonel Sanders as the prized companion.

I'm still shocked to confirm to you that "I Love You Colonel Sanders: A Finger Licking Good Dating Simulator" is a real video game, and you can now play it for free on your PC or Mac.

In "I Love You Colonel Sanders," players enroll in a cooking class alongside Colonel Sanders and try to win his heart with cooking expertise and clever conversation. KFC's game is a parody of traditional dating sim games - these text-based adventures are popular in Japan and usually let the player pursue a partner from a collection of males or females. Players are faced with a series of conversation choices as they try to romance the character of their choosing.

I Love You Colonel Sanders Pot Pie Power Pinch

Unsurprisingly, all of your attention in KFC's game is dedicated to the Colonel, but the formula remains the same. You'll have to talk your way through three days at the cooking school with the Colonel and a colorful cast of characters, and at the end you'll find out if you managed to win the Colonel's love. The game takes about an hour to complete, but you can replay it to see new endings and slightly different story routes.

"I Love You Colonel Sanders" is ripe with anime clichés and character tropes poking fun at Japan's popular dating simulators, so you might miss out on some of the jokes if you're not familiar with the genre. Frankly, the game's constant use of anime stereotypes will probably be annoying to fans of regular dating sims, and reinforces stereotypes about Japan and anime culture that were probably best left in the 90s.

In recent years the dating sim genre has become more popular in the queer community for allowing players to experience complex narratives involving gay, bisexual, and polyamorous relationships. "I Love You Colonel Sanders" draws from the worst parts of the genre for comedic effect.

While the free game is an obvious marketing stunt for KFC, "I Love You Colonel Sanders" is a complete game and clearly took some hard work to produce. Producing a detailed text-based adventure like this still requires original art, character designs, and decent writing to keep the conversations flowing. Psyop, the studio that produced the game, released another text adventure called "Camp W" last year, so they had a bit of prior experience in the genre.

I can't recommend that anyone else play KFC's dating sim, but it certainly can't be worse for you than KFC's new fried chicken & doughnut sandwich.

Here's a closer look at what it's like to play "I Love You Colonel Sanders: A Finger Licking Good Dating Simulator:"

"I Love You Colonel Sanders" starts with an anime-inspired opening introducing you to the game's cast.

You start on the first day of school at "University of Cooking School Academy for Learning," where you're introduced to your best friend and a pair of rival chefs.

Pretty much every character at the school represents a different anime trope, including Professor Dog, a talking corgi.

You're quickly introduced to the star of the show, Colonel Sanders himself.

You'll be able to choose from a collection of conversation options to try and win the Colonel's heart.

If you pick the right options, you'll quickly find yourself caught in a whirlwind of romance with KFC's mascot.

Every now and then you'll be challenged with a quiz or competition that will determine which way the story goes.

Though "I Love You Colonel Sanders" isn't exactly hard to finish, it's still possible to hit the Game Over screen.

As you get deeper into the story, things just get more and more outrageous. I ended up making friends with this spork monster named Borko.

While the game is relatively harmless fun, there's no ignoring that it's a marketing stunt for KFC.

Seriously, expect to see tons of KFC menu items prominently displayed across the screen.

In a surprise twist, I managed to earn the Colonel's love at the end of the game, but he didn't respect my chef skills enough to make me his partner. Maybe I can impress him on another playthrough?

In the end, "I Love You Colonel Sanders" is another viral marketing stunt from KFC, but it's a complete game and could certainly be much worse.

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