If You're A Hedge Fund Dude, This Is The Personal Ad For You
Business Insider
Perhaps some of our hedge fund analyst friends could fit the bill. The gig is just for the fall.
Here's the ad:
Seeking Fall Boyfriends
2 smart, funny, attractive girls each looking for a fall boyfriend with chill group of bro friends, now is the time you must start dating someone in order to spend the holidays together/go on ski trips/have a NYE kiss you're stoked on.
Labor Day has happened, we are saying goodbye and filtering out our casual summer, meet up at 2 a.m. hook ups and are looking for boys we might be able to stand being sober around.
Needed: 2 males interested in something steady/serious-ish as the weather fades from hot, humid, and care-free to crisp, chill Patagonia vest season. Interested parties should have a window in their bedroom and want to cuddle with the window slightly open to let the fresh autumn air in while a fall scented candle (that I'll buy for you, babe) fills the room with cozy comfort.
Requirements
Chill group of guy friends (preference will be given to bros who come from the same group of friends, just because that makes it easier and more fun for double date brunching)
27 and older
6 feet or taller (if you're 5'11" but have a personality to make up for the height difference, willing to consider it. Any shorter? Don't apply.)
Wardrobe should include: Driving mocs, Barbour coat, Half-Zips (at least 3, please send pics if possible), Ray-Bans (Wayfarers or Clubmastesr preferred, but open to other styles), loafers, Patagonia vest(s), Vineyard Vines, basketball shorts for me to sleep in
College education. Ivy league preferred. Def in a frat or played a sport (lacrosse, crew, tennis, etc.)
Probs spent at least 4 weekends in Montauk over the summer
Activities can include but are not limited to
Apple Picking
Sunday Fundays
Borrowing your pullover and returning it after an indecent amount of time, if at all
Taking selfies in Patagonia vests/taking selfies while doing all activities #fall #boyfriendweather
Watching football (aka me getting drunk while you watch football, and you thinking it's so adorable when I wear jeans and Converse to the bar and get blackout in your team's hat.) *sneakers show how chill and laid back I am < this is why it's kinda essential for the two boys to be friends so me and my friend can blackout together and I won't get bored.
Cooking - Instagramming dish with captions such as "Fall night with my babe @yourhandle *heart emoji all the fall emojis*"
Brunching outdoors until weather permits
Strange how the night moves, with autumn closing in
(If you don't know that song, don't apply)
Looking forward to meeting you!
- 2 states where home prices are falling because there are too many houses and not enough buyers
- US buys 81 Soviet-era combat aircraft from Russia's ally costing on average less than $20,000 each, report says
- A couple accidentally shipped their cat in an Amazon return package. It arrived safely 6 days later, hundreds of miles away.
- 9 health benefits of drinking sugarcane juice in summer
- 10 benefits of incorporating almond oil into your daily diet
- From heart health to detoxification: 10 reasons to eat beetroot
- Why did a NASA spacecraft suddenly start talking gibberish after more than 45 years of operation? What fixed it?
- ICICI Bank shares climb nearly 5% after Q4 earnings; mcap soars by ₹36,555.4 crore
- Nothing Phone (2a) blue edition launched
- JNK India IPO allotment date
- JioCinema New Plans
- Realme Narzo 70 Launched
- Apple Let Loose event
- Elon Musk Apology
- RIL cash flows
- Charlie Munger
- Feedbank IPO allotment
- Tata IPO allotment
- Most generous retirement plans
- Broadcom lays off
- Cibil Score vs Cibil Report
- Birla and Bajaj in top Richest
- Nestle Sept 2023 report
- India Equity Market