21 questions to ask before choosing a job you'll stay happy in long-term

• Bruce Feiler analyzed 400 people to find out what makes some people love what they do and others feel frustrated.
• He found that people who are happiest and most fulfilled don't climb; they dig by looking inward.

I've spent the last six years crisscrossing the US trying to identify what makes some people love what they do and others feel frustrated. I've collected and analyzed 400 extensive life stories of Americans of all backgrounds, all incomes levels, and in all 50 states.

The No. 1 thing I've learned is that the people who are happiest and most fulfilled don't climb, they also dig. They perform what I call a "meaning audit," doing personal archaeology to unearth the lessons of work they inherited from their parents, the values they admired in their role models, and the dreams they've been nursing since childhood.

Sure, some people set a goal and achieve it, but far more people rethink their priorities, adjust their passions, and break away from stifling expectations. My data shows that the average person goes through 20 "workquakes" in the course of their lives — that's one every 2 1/2 years. A workquake is a disruption in which you're either forced to — or choose to — rethink or reimagine your work life.

Women go through them more frequently than men, younger workers more than older workers, and diverse workers more than non-diverse workers, which means their number is only going to grow.

The biggest mistake people make in a workquake is to look too quickly for a new job. The reason: You'll succeed! You'll find a new job — but soon enough you'll be back where you started, asking the wrong questions and getting the wrong answers.

Instead, the smartest people realize that the biggest impediment to finding meaningful work is not what you don't know about work. It's what you don't know about yourself. You can bounce from job to job; but if you don't tap into the earliest tensions, frustrations, and longings of your life — the personal work scripture unique only to you — you'll never be happy.

These 21 questions will help you write the most consequential story you'll ever tell: The story of what makes you a success.

Who is your Who?

1. What are the prominent values or virtues of work you learned from your parents?
2. What are the prominent downsides or shadows of work you learned from your parents?
3. Who is the most influential person in your work choices right now?
4. I want to be the kind of person who ___________.

What is your What?

1. Other than family, who were your role models as a child? What qualities did you most admire in them?
2. What's the best thing about your work today? The worst thing?
3. Do you have a hope job like writing a screenplay or selling pickles at the farmer's market?
4. Do you have a ghost job like confronting self-doubts, staying sober, or battling discrimination?
5. I want to do work that ___________.

When is your When?

1. Are you starting a new work story or continuing an ongoing one?
2. Which do you fear most: staying in your current position or leaving?
3. I'm at a moment in my life when _________.

Where is your Where?

1. What environments were you most drawn to as a child?
2. What environments are you drawn to today?
3. I want to work in a place where _________.

Why is your Why?

1. Did you have a toothache as a child — a problem you wanted to solve or a dilemma you wanted to resolve?
2. What kinds of stories do you like?
3. My purpose right now is ___________.

How is your How?

1. What's the best advice you ever received about work?
2. If you could do one thing to be happier at work today, what would it be?
3. The best advice I have for myself right now is ____________.

As Mark Savickas, a professor at Kent State University and the dean of modern career studies, told me, "The answer is not in society. It's not in test scores. It's already inside you."

He calls this untapped internal wisdom your "unknown known" and says any successful job search requires giving the searcher "the tools and the confidence to unlock the story they've already been writing for years — even decades."

From The Search: Finding Meaningful Work in a Post-Career World by Bruce Feiler. Published by arrangement with Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Random House, LLC. Copyright © 2023 by Bruce Feiler.