How to tell if your boss is a demanding leader or an actual bully

Just because your boss asks you to make daily trips to Starbucks doesn't mean she's a Miranda Priestly.

Some bosses are just more demanding and like to challenge their employees.

That's why Andrew Faas, a former senior executive with Canada's two largest retail organizations who has dealt with bullying first hand, says it's important to define what constitutes bullying in the workplace.

In his new book, "The Bully's Trap," Faas writes that he often gets push back from managers who think that raising public awareness of bullying will hinder them from being able to do their job properly out of fear of being labeled a bully.

"A lot of executives say, 'Well this is my style and I'm very passionate and never mean to hurt someone,'" Faas tells Business Insider. "But my pushback on that is, 'What if you are hurting someone?'"

To help determine where bullying is happening, Faas says he always looks for one telling sign: the intent to destroy.

On the other hand, aggressive or demanding managers set high expectations, hold people accountable, and follow up in a direct manner, all with the intent of helping that person improve or correcting a deficiency, not to destroy that person, Faas says. "A manager should not be afraid to do those things," he explains.

To help make the distinction clearer, here are the eight subtle differences between a demanding manager and a bullying manager, according to Faas: