I tested out some the BMW X7's more exotic technologies for an episode of Cars Insider's "Real Reviews." They were a mixed bag, and you can watch the whole thing here.
I also tested BMW's suite of driver-assist features, and those technologies worked as advertised, although the X7 is certainly not capable of driving itself.
Otherwise, the X7 provides what the Ultimate Driving Machine needed: a three-row hauler to slot in atop the X5. It's sort of a bimmer bus, but what ya gonna do? We're a long way from the turbo 2002 of the early 1970s.
The X7 serves up what you'd expect from a $100,000-plus SUV, from the elegant yet purposeful interior to the forceful output of the V8 motor and surefootedness of the all-wheel-drive system, yielding a 0-60mph time of about five seconds.
To this bimmerness, the X7 adds a cargo area that can be configured to work like a small pickup truck, while also seating two extra humans if the third row is deployed. It's all good, but these days I have to admit that I look at these large premium SUVs as a segment, rather than as individual vehicles. The X7 does the same job as the Audi Q7 or the Volvo XC90 or the Mercedes GLS. And so it goes and so it goes, and where it's going everybody knows: fatter profits for the luxury automakers.
My X7 tester came with nearly $10,000 of optional packages, and with the V8, it represents the highest expression of what BMW can do at this scale. It's impressive. It wasn't exactly fun to drive, but that — Gasp! — isn't really the point. And it was fun in a straight line and when passing semis on the freeway, when the X7 felt like a freight train.
If you consider the price as objectively as possible, you'd have to admit that you're getting a whole lotta SUV with the X7. I honestly guessed the sticker at $125,000. So if you can can live with the grille (and I could), the X7 might be the titanic Bimmer of your dreams.