A matchmaker says the right sentence at the wrong time can put the kibosh on a budding romance
- A common dating mistake is telling someone you're looking for a serious commitment - as soon as you meet them.
- That's according to matchmaker Claudia Duran.
- Duran said you should take time to get to know the person and see if there's any chemistry before deciding they're The One.
If you're coming to see Claudia Duran, you're probably serious about love.
Duran is a Miami-based matchmaker with dating service Elite Connections, and she charges $15,000 for a six-month membership.
But some of Duran's clients are so intent on finding a relationship that they can come off as a little… overeager. As soon as they meet a potential partner, they'll tell the person: "I'm looking for a serious commitment."
This, Duran said, is a surefire way to sabotage any chance you had to develop a relationship with that person.
"To have someone state that upfront is a big turnoff," she said. It communicates to your date, "I'm putting pressure on you to be that person. Hurry up and let me know if that's what you want."
Not only are you rushing them into making a decision, Duran said, but you're ignoring the very real possibility that you two aren't a match. "I'm not even looking to see if you are a right fit for me organically and authentically," Duran said.
That's not to say you shouldn't be honest. As Coffee Meets Bagel cofounder and co-CEO Dawoon Kang previously told Business Insider, you shouldn't be afraid to state the kind of relationship you're looking for - i.e. long-term or a hookup - on your dating profile.
Kang said too many people hesitate to say they're looking for something serious in their bio. But, she added, "you really want to not waste time attracting the wrong people."
Duran agreed. "That's a stage where people are filtering through a mass," she said of online dating. "You really want to be able to sort through and say who's looking to play and who's looking for a serious commitment."
But once you meet someone who's interested in stability, "that's a different dynamic," Duran said. "Then it becomes about: Are you the right person for me? Do we like each other? Are there common interests? Is there chemistry?"