I tasted 5 brands of nonalcoholic beer, and the Clausthaler was a convincing dupe of the real thing

Emma TaylorApr 20, 2020, 21:38 IST

InsiderThe five nonalcoholic beer options for this experiment.Emma Taylor/Insider

I taste tested five nonalcoholic beers during Dry January, a month when many people give up drinking.
The process was a blind tasting, so I did not know which of the five I was trying.
I picked beers from Brewdog, Brooklyn, Heineken, Clausthaler, and Budweiser based on their availability in both the US and the UK. I also wanted to include a couple of well-known companies along with some smaller breweries.
Expecting them all to be watery and weak, I was proved wrong when most turned out to be pretty good alternatives to alcoholic beers. I would even consider ordering the option from the German brand Clausthaler at a bar.
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With the rise of Dry January and the consciously sober movement, nonalcoholic drinks are an exploding market.

Once mostly the reserve of pregnant people and other nondrinkers, alcohol-free beverages have come a long way from the choice between soft drinks or ghostly imitations of their alcoholic counterparts.

To be transparent, I do regularly drink alcohol, and have never participated in Dry January or given up alcohol for any reason. At the moment, my alcohol consumption is on the lower side, but I suspect that might have something to do with the fact that the person I am most likely to have a glass of wine with is expecting a baby.

I will acknowledge, I had some preconceptions about nonalcoholic beers. I was expecting them to taste weak and watery and to be poor alternatives to "normal beers." I was also asked for ID when buying four of these beers, so bear that in mind if you're going to the store to get your own.

Though I was proved wrong during this taste test of nonalcoholic beers, I couldn't help missing the warm and relaxing buzz that drinking alcohol gives.

I am no beer connoisseur nor a fountain of fermenting knowledge; I just like a beer on occasion. This is what I found out.

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The Clausthaler Unfiltered Dry Hopped Lager wiped the floor with the rest of the nonalcoholic beers.

And the winner is ... Ali Millington/Insider

This experiment opened my eyes to the world of nonalcoholic beers, and they weren't as terrible as I was expecting. In fact, if I were ever off the booze, I would happily order a bottle of Clausthaler at a bar as a substitute.

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Clausthaler Unfiltered was beer No. 5.

No. 5 ticked all my beer boxes. Ali Millington/Insider

No. 5 ticked all my boxes (bubbles, foam, taste, smell, etc.), and the German brand Clausthaler has produced an excellent low-alcohol product. I even liked the classy label.

At 0.5% ABV, this beer is technically not alcohol-free, but at this percentage a healthy adult human will not be able to get drunk drinking this beer, according to the low-alcohol review site Steady Drinker.

My only concern would be it goes down a little too easily without the presence of alcohol slowing the pace down. You might be spending more time in the bathroom than socializing if you're chugging these all night.

Score: 5/5

No. 5 ticked all my boxes (bubbles, foam, taste, smell, etc.), and the German brand Clausthaler has produced an excellent low-alcohol product. I even liked the classy label.

Score: 5/5

Ever skeptical of a pretty face, I kept an open mind when taking a sip.

The taste was the closest to lager of all the ones I tried. Ali Millington/Insider

Oh, this was good. Really good. The taste was the closest to lager, with a surprising sweet citrus note to balance out the beer bitterness.

If this taste-test were a beauty contest, No. 5 would be a clear winner.

Ali Millington/Insider

This was a prime specimen of what you'd want any beer to look like. The strong foamy head was pronounced, the rich golden hue was almost glowing, and a touch cloudy. The smell could simply be categorized as "nice beer," and the beads of bubbles were the strongest out of the lot.

This was a prime specimen of what you'd want any beer to look like. The strong foamy head was pronounced, the rich golden hue was almost glowing, and a touch cloudy. The smell could simply be categorized as nice beer, and the beads of bubbles were the strongest out of the lot.

The final contender, beer No. 5.

The last beer to taste. Ali Millington/Insider

I guessed Budweiser, but it was the Heineken Non-Alcoholic 0.0.

The taste was great, and I would not be able to distinguish between this and Heineken's normal beer at 5% ABV. Ali Millington/Insider

Of course it was a big-brand beer. The look, the foam, the bubbles, the taste, the smell, have all been chiseled and honed by millions of dollars of consumer research. I honestly would not be able to tell the difference between this nonalcoholic beer and Heineken's standard 5% ABV.

Score: 4/5

My first impression was this beer tasted like a brand. It was so recognizable to me, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

You can practically see the cogs in my brain trying to turn. Ali Millington/Insider

This beer was the only time I made a guess throughout the entire tasting, as I told my editor it tasted like an established brand. My guess turned out to be wrong, though.

This tasted like a mediocre beer. There was no over-the-top fruit flavors or overpowering notes of hop.

Cheers! Ali Millington/Insider

The consistency was normal too. Not as thin as the Budweiser from No. 3, but not as heavy as BrewDog back at No. 2.

Points for an average ring of foam, a golden color, a good parade of bubbles, and a normal beer smell.

Ali Millington/Insider

It passes the "wolf in sheep's clothing" test. No one would know just by looking at this glass that the contents wouldn't give you a raging desire for carbs after sinking a few.

It passes the wolf in sheep's clothing test. No one would know just by looking at this glass that the contents wouldn't give you a raging desire for carbs after sinking a few.

The penultimate nonalcoholic beer, No. 4.

Getting near the end with option No. 4. Ali Millington/Insider

Budweiser Alcohol-Free Beer was contestant No. 3.

This would probably be a great beer if you're alcohol-free over the summer months or if you want something light. Ali Millington/Insider

Ah, Budweiser, for me it's the flavor of teenage house parties. But this wasn't all bad.

There were quite a few negative points against this beer, though had it been served cold (my own mistake I know), I imagine this would be a refreshing no-alcohol option at a summer barbecue or picnic. It balances a light-feeling taste but with a hint of the traditional beer flavor in the background.

Score: 3/5

Ah, Budweiser, for me it's the flavor of teenage house parties. But this wasn't all bad.

Score: 3/5

Doing a poor rendition of the "woman trying Kombucha" meme, I was initially undecided whether I liked this beer.

There was a lot to not like about this nonalcoholic beer. Ali Millington/Insider

The taste was nice, verging on good. But the lack of bubbles or foam was a letdown even though it tasted light.

I was expecting a watery taste, and though the lack of bubbles gave the beer a juice-like consistency, it was pretty nice.

The liquid consistency of the beer was quite thin. Ali Millington/Insider

No. 3 came through on a decent flavor with notes of apple and a delicate "normal beer" taste.

Looking for the almost nonexistent bubbles.

No. 2 was not putting on a show so far. Ali Millington

First impressions count, and when the beer came out looking like apple juice, I was worried.

No foam, then go home. Ali Millington/Insider

The glaring lack of foam put me off straight away, and though the picture doesn't clearly show it, there was a distinct lack of bubbles. The color was a nice pale gold, but again, I was already expecting it to taste like beer-flavored water — exactly what I thought a nonalcoholic beer would be.

No. 3 — ready?

Now we're onto beer No. 3. Ali Millington/Insider

No. 2 was BrewDog Nanny State.

BrewDog Nanny state didn't cut it for me. Ali Millington/Insider

The only things I liked about this drink were the foamy head and the rich color.

Score: 2/5

My reaction was involuntary facial contortions and slamming down the glass.

A picture is worth a 1,000 words. Ali Millington/Insider

I did not like it. The hop smell was too strong for me, and the heavier taste mirrored the scent. There was a tang as well, which I wasn't keen on, and the beer bubbles felt more like a fizz. In the interest of being fair, it is most probably down to my own palate as I tend to veer toward lighter beers. If someone is a lover of stronger-tasting beers, then you might enjoy this one. It just wasn't for me.

As it was considerably darker than the beers I usually drink, I was expecting to be surprised as I was with beer No. 1.

Bottoms up. Ali Millington/Insider

Another dark-ale color, this beer looked as if it belonged to a gnarled older gentleman who sits in the same corner of the same bar every day and orders the same drink.

The second beer had a defined foam head and radiated the smell of hops into the room. Ali Millington/Insider

The second beer had a very strong hoppy smell and left a pleasing webbed trail of foam down the glass that reminded me of English countryside pubs and jackets flecked with mud.

Up next, beer No. 2.

My second beer to taste. Ali Millington/Insider

It was Brooklyn Special Effects 0.4%

A solid nonalcoholic beer. Ali Millington/Insider

I wasn't far off the mark.

It looks like a beer, it smells like a beer, it tastes like a (slightly pretentious) beer; it's a beer.

Score: 4/5

I wasn't far off the mark.

It looks like a beer, it smells like a beer, it tastes like a (slightly pretentious) beer; it's a beer.

Score: 4/5

On second sip, if someone told me this was a cool craft beer brand with inflated ideals that was brewed in a warehouse in a gentrified area, I would believe them no questions asked.

The taste came across like a craft beer. Ali Millington/Insider

I still liked it, though. No one would feel out of place propped up against bar cradling a glass of this stuff — you'd blend in seamlessly with the boozy-beverage crowd.

On second sip, if someone told me this was a cool craft beer brand with inflated ideals that was brewed in a warehouse in a gentrified area, I would believe them no questions asked.

I still liked it, though. No one would feel out of place propped up against bar cradling a glass of this stuff — you'd blend in seamlessly with the boozy-beverage crowd.

The first note was fruity, followed by a hoppy smell.

Good bubbles, a thin surface of foam, and hoppy smell are all standard so far. Ali Millington/Insider

It tasted like it smelled, too, and those bubbles lent themselves to a normal beer mouthfeel (the correct term apparently). The most surprising thing was that it was actually really pleasant. I could see myself ordering this if I were off the hard stuff and not hating my choice.

Color-wise, it was one of two drink options that were on the dark-amber side.

It's passable so far. Ali Millington/Insider

On sight, this beer had some decent bubbling from the bottom of the glass and had a light layer of foam. All looked perfectly normal so far.

First up, beer No. 1.

The first beer I tried. Ali Millington/Insider

For the best results, it was decided that I would taste the beers without knowing which ones they were. The process was incredibly scientific and technical.

The blind-tasting process was highly meticulous. Emma Taylor/Insider

To preserve the drinks' anonymity, my editor noted down the beers and numbered them from one to five in no particular order. She then poured out each beer into glasses, each with a corresponding number, while my back was turned.

I picked five nonalcoholic beers and brands that were available in the US as well as the UK (much easier said than done).

Me with my selection of warm beers because I didn't think to put them in the fridge the morning of this taste test. Ali Millington/Insider

My reasoning behind the selection was to include a couple of really mainstream beer brands (like Heineken and Budweiser) as well a few lesser-known up-and-comers since that's sometimes where the magic can happen.

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I tasted 5 brands of nonalcoholic beer, and the Clausthaler was a convincing dupe of the real thing

The Clausthaler Unfiltered Dry Hopped Lager wiped the floor with the rest of the nonalcoholic beers.

Clausthaler Unfiltered was beer No. 5.

Ever skeptical of a pretty face, I kept an open mind when taking a sip.

If this taste-test were a beauty contest, No. 5 would be a clear winner.

The final contender, beer No. 5.

I guessed Budweiser, but it was the Heineken Non-Alcoholic 0.0.

My first impression was this beer tasted like a brand. It was so recognizable to me, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

This tasted like a mediocre beer. There was no over-the-top fruit flavors or overpowering notes of hop.

Points for an average ring of foam, a golden color, a good parade of bubbles, and a normal beer smell.

The penultimate nonalcoholic beer, No. 4.

Budweiser Alcohol-Free Beer was contestant No. 3.

Doing a poor rendition of the "woman trying Kombucha" meme, I was initially undecided whether I liked this beer.

I was expecting a watery taste, and though the lack of bubbles gave the beer a juice-like consistency, it was pretty nice.

Looking for the almost nonexistent bubbles.

First impressions count, and when the beer came out looking like apple juice, I was worried.

No. 3 — ready?

No. 2 was BrewDog Nanny State.

My reaction was involuntary facial contortions and slamming down the glass.

As it was considerably darker than the beers I usually drink, I was expecting to be surprised as I was with beer No. 1.

Another dark-ale color, this beer looked as if it belonged to a gnarled older gentleman who sits in the same corner of the same bar every day and orders the same drink.

Up next, beer No. 2.

It was Brooklyn Special Effects 0.4%

On second sip, if someone told me this was a cool craft beer brand with inflated ideals that was brewed in a warehouse in a gentrified area, I would believe them no questions asked.

The first note was fruity, followed by a hoppy smell.

Color-wise, it was one of two drink options that were on the dark-amber side.

First up, beer No. 1.

For the best results, it was decided that I would taste the beers without knowing which ones they were. The process was incredibly scientific and technical.

I picked five nonalcoholic beers and brands that were available in the US as well as the UK (much easier said than done).